Wonkette

You’ve seen the drunken Bush falling down the stadium steps, you’ve seen the sweaty drunken Bush baffled by the volleyball gal’s ass, and you’ve seen him making terrible faces while his daughter cringes. You maybe even saw a similar shot to this one, over at Gawker’s nice collection of Bush In China Foto Funnies, but this is something special, so very special and retarded. TWO-MINUTES LATER UPDATE: It’s a crappy photoshop. But funny! [Democratic Underground]

So, George W. Bush sure enjoyed his Olympic Chinese holiday! Here he is with the volleyball girls, living every heterosexual man’s dream. Let’s see how many ridiculous ways your beloved Mainstream Media tries to describe this scene, in a Children’s Treasury of dumb captions about the president pounding the asses of six-foot-tall bikini girls. MORE »

New first lady Michelle Obama is a young, stylish, beautiful and successful corporate attorney from humble south-side-of-Chicago beginnings. In other words, she’s just like ancient yankee matron aristocrat Barbara Bush. MORE »

This week, Larry Craig, David Phillips, Robert Novak, Monica Goodling, and Barbara Bush were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

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And then they got him high and fucked him in the bathroom, the end.

More hot Bush Twins-on-Elmo pix, after the jump.

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Here it is, Barbara Bush’s Facebook profile (click to enlarge). Like everything else in this world, it’s a massive disappointment. She’s no Pierce, that’s for damn sure. MORE »

IvyGate has a bombshell: First Twin Barbara Bush may be on Facebook. There’s a friends-only Yale Alum profile with her name on it, and we’d all love to see the contents. MORE »

Guess what Jenna Bush is getting for Christmas? The love and awe of some Buenos Aires guy in a trucker cap who maybe makes $400 a month. Hooray for romance! It knows no boundaries!

Wonkette operative “Bill” has mysterious business ties with Argentina, which is why he keeps up with whatever the Bush Twins are doing down there. He translated a chunk of this article that reveals way too much about Ramiro González Palazzo and how impressed he is that a woman is allowed to have a credit card.

You know you want it, and it’s after the jump.

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* Have ridiculous political views? Dying for attention? Don’t waste time starting a blog — call C-SPAN and loudly hurl insults at Jimmy Carter. [Think Progress]
* Brooklyn hipsters who spot Barbara Bush out drinking can’t decide between whether to “vomit on” or “hate fuck” her. [Williamsboard]
* Giant pink house conspires with illegal Guatemalans to keep Mitt Romney out of giant White House. [DCeiver]
* Bloggers who post their “enemies list” — including recently elected members of Congress who haven’t had a day on the job yet — need to switch to decaf. [The Blogometer]
* The Corner bloggers’ had the delusional idea that Rick Santorum will replace Bolton. [The Corner]
* Hank Paulson: administration coffin nailer. [Robert Reich]

Last week, “mercado libre,” the Argentinian eBay, featured a quickly-removed auction for Barbara Bush’s stolen cell phone. The auction started at 1,000 pesos, and the seller jokingly declared that the phone would be delivered to the winner by Osama bin Laden himself. MORE »

Finally, an American expat in Argentina blogs up the dirt on the endlessly fascinating theft of young Barbara Bush’s purse. We can now provide the following shocking details from a retired DC/NYC newspaperman:

* The purse-snatching took place at some huge bar/restaurant in the “hip San Telmo district.”
* It’s apparently spring in Argentina; rich girls can just skip winter altogether.
* The purse-snatching thieves are known as Porteños, which is Spanish for “purse snatchers.” (UPDATE FOR CERTAIN READERS: THAT’S A JOKE.)

Lots more hot Argentine action, after the jump.

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Here’s your BREAKING UPDATE on the Bush Twins’ Argentine Adventure, featuring abandoned presidential daughters and possible assassination attempts:

Barbara made headlines last week when she was robbed in a Buenos Aires restaurant; somebody apparently made off with her purse and cell phone. Secret Service agents claimed they “remotely erased” the mobile’s memory, thus denying America the naked drunken Bush Twins photos we so desperately need in these dark times. (But there’s no reason to believe the twins’ Secret Service detail, as the agents didn’t even notice the purse-snatching, because they were too busy being savagely beaten in the streets.)

Unfazed by the chaos and crime, the sisters continued their rampage because they were celebrating their 25th birthdays — and possibly preparing an escaped-Nazi-style South American lair for their soon-to-be deposed father. Lots more, after the jump.

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Jenna and Barbara are being tossed out of Argentina — not by the actual country, but by the pissed-off U.S. diplomats in Buenos Aires. MORE »