Tag: barbara bush

Ask Wonkette: Can Melon Trump Indeed Sue For Rose Words About Her Son?

Wonkette helpfully answers readers' questions, helpfully.

George H. W. Bush Voting For Hillary Clinton, Like All Patriotic Americans

We thought he was just going to vote for her SECRETLY. Now the cat's out of the bag!

Malia Obama Spotted Inhaling Devil Drugs, Don’t Tell Her Mom And Dad!

Um, guys, can we let Malia Obama be a normal 18-year-old kid?

Jenna Bush Lathers Up A Tongan

JENNA BUSH, YOUR HUSBAND IS WATCHING.
Never gets old. The picture, we mean.

Is George W. Bush In The Tank For Crooked Hillary Clinton? We Are Just Asking.

Dubya talked some smack about Donald Trump at a fundraiser, without even saying Trump's name. Does this mean he is #ImWithHer? MAYBE.

Bob Dole’s Limp Penis Endorses Marco Rubio

Marco Rubio is doing so awesome at winning not first place in the Republican primary! Last week, he received the "Fine, you're better than Jeb I guess" nod from South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, which helped him sweep second-ish place on...
Can we fix it? No, it's fucked.

We Won’t Have Jeb Bush Or His Exclamation Point To Kick Around Anymore

We'll have your full Nevada/South Carolina wrap up for you bright and early Sunday morning, but there are some things you gotta get on right away. Or at least, just as soon as you've finished your soup. Jeb Bush's...
There are domains where science must not trespass!

Are Jeb And Dubya From The Same Family? A Wonksplainer

Americans are an inquisitive people, always driven to seek out answers to the questions that matter, like "Is there proof of Albert Einstein's theorized gravitational waves?" or "How should we address the threat of global warming?" or "Is our...
Can we fix it? No, it's fucked.

Jeb Bush So Proud Of How His Florida Boys Did Abu Ghraib

BREAKING NEWS, Jeb Bush opened his mouth and his dick came out and then he stepped on it: “I was commander-in-chief of the National Guard. I visited Iraq and Afghanistan. The National Guard in Florida took the responsibility of running...

Happy Birthday Jeb! Bush, Don’t Set Yourself On Fire With Those Candles

John Ellis J.E.B. Jeb Bush was squirted out of his mama's beautiful mind on this day, but in the last century, some 63 or so years ago, somewhere in the middle of a Texas oil field, probably. While his...
Oh Jeb. What did she do to you?

Jeb Bush LOLs About How His Mom Used To Beat Him

What up, Jeb? Besides losing for president and trying to win supporters who will never come, because you are so pathetic? Oh, we see, you're kiddin' around at a "campaign event" about how terrible and horrible your mother Barbara...

Barbara Bush Reluctantly Endorses Least Favorite Son Jeb For President

We're going to need a bigger file drawer for this latest entry under Sad Jeb Bush Is Sad, So Sad, Gahhh, We Need A Drink, That's How Sad He Is. His own mother, who has made it quite clear she doesn't care for...
MC FLOTUS

Michelle Obama Doing Gangsta Rap Again

Oh, that Michelle Obama is at it again! She has been the scourge of wingnuts for years now, saying they should be healthy and drink water and eat vegetables instead of whatever cheesy fried butt lard they usually eat. And in...
Now that's presidential.

Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin

If you're like most Republicans, you're not even HAVING Thanksgiving this year, because you're still upset over how "President" Obama abused his executive powers last year, by pardoning TWO turkeys instead of just one, can you say OUT OF...
On the right: Favorite. On the left: LOL

Daddy Bush Says It’s ‘Bullsh*t’ That Jeb Was Ever The Favorite Son

Remember the "conventional wisdom" that Jeb! was the one who was supposed to be president of the all the things, and George W. was supposed to be burying himself in piles of brush he just dry-drunk crashed his tractor into...
Borned stupid.

Everybody Hates Ted Cruz: George W. Bush Edition

It is a well-known fact that there is nobody in the world who REALLY loves Ted Cruz. All the people who say they do are just kinda faking it because they don't want to be mean, even though Ted...