Here is news that will be shocking to zero persons: the Bush twins were a bit of a handful for their Secret Service detail back in the day! Yeah, they liked to party a lot, and would occasionally try to slip out unsupervised. Jenna appears to have been the bigger pain in the ass (!!!??!). Why was George Bush not impeached over his failure to control his college-aged daughters, who more and more appear to be the sort of fun, boozy Southern girls who end up as real classy society dames working as docents at your local mid-sized modern art museum? MORE »

BARBARA BUSH HAS SUCCESSFUL HEART SURGERY: Former first lady (and a Pierce by birth, never you forget) Barbara Bush underwent what the cretins call “open heart surgery” earlier today. Doctors successfully removed the Jameson bottle and now she’s… oops, wrong Kennedy. You only heard about this news tonight because it would have been very uncouth to alert the public to this embarrassing affair earlier in the day. Oh, puddingsticks. [CNN]

Some guy who was college buddies with Barbara Bush (the young one) went to the White House for dinner a couple times during George W. Bush’s first term, and now he feels icky about it because of the war, and because he is gay. Is this just a completely banal retelling of a fairly boring bunch of stories, or is it the most fascinating thing ever…OR BOTH? MORE »

You’ve seen the drunken Bush falling down the stadium steps, you’ve seen the sweaty drunken Bush baffled by the volleyball gal’s ass, and you’ve seen him making terrible faces while his daughter cringes. You maybe even saw a similar shot to this one, over at Gawker’s nice collection of Bush In China Foto Funnies, but this is something special, so very special and retarded. TWO-MINUTES LATER UPDATE: It’s a crappy photoshop. But funny! [Democratic Underground]

So, George W. Bush sure enjoyed his Olympic Chinese holiday! Here he is with the volleyball girls, living every heterosexual man’s dream. Let’s see how many ridiculous ways your beloved Mainstream Media tries to describe this scene, in a Children’s Treasury of dumb captions about the president pounding the asses of six-foot-tall bikini girls. MORE »

New first lady Michelle Obama is a young, stylish, beautiful and successful corporate attorney from humble south-side-of-Chicago beginnings. In other words, she’s just like ancient yankee matron aristocrat Barbara Bush. MORE »

This week, Larry Craig, David Phillips, Robert Novak, Monica Goodling, and Barbara Bush were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

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And then they got him high and fucked him in the bathroom, the end.

More hot Bush Twins-on-Elmo pix, after the jump.

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Here it is, Barbara Bush’s Facebook profile (click to enlarge). Like everything else in this world, it’s a massive disappointment. She’s no Pierce, that’s for damn sure. MORE »

IvyGate has a bombshell: First Twin Barbara Bush may be on Facebook. There’s a friends-only Yale Alum profile with her name on it, and we’d all love to see the contents. MORE »