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Tag: barbara boxer

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain

Ted Cruz Just Gonna Wage A Little All-Out Civil War In The Senate, No Big

Don't you just love the smell of Republican civil war in the morning? Actual Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is desperate to show everyone just how grown-up and leadership-y and Get Things Done he can be, but Not-Actual Senate...
Breaking political news to grandchildren is the pits

Who Will Be California’s Next Barbara Boxer? (Hint: It Is Probably Scott Brown)

Well, it had to happen sometime, and apparently that "sometime" is 2016, because Barbara Boxer, one of the best liberals to ever lib up the Senate chamber with her San Francisco valyews, has announced to her grandson on video...
You don't deserve that beer, pal

Senate Republicans Stand Up For Ladies’ Right To Be Paid Unfairly

Ladies of America, are you feeling that warm reassurance you get from having manly champions who will fight for you in the halls of power? Pack your sunglasses because no matter what the weather, a sickly orange glow of...

Pat Robertson’s God Is A God Who Hilariously Punishes People With Power Outages

So apparently back on Wednesday there was a massive power surge that knocked out power to the US Capitol for 30 minutes or so, thanks to apocalypse-level winds of 47 miles per hour. It wasn't just the Capitol either,...

Weird Tuesday Nice Time: Rand Paul, Ted Cruz Take Break From Being Dicks

We live in weird times, and we are not talking about just gay marijuana orgies in Colorado, because Sens. Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX) are joining Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) on her military sexual assault bill. According...

California Gas Prices Still Out Of Effing Control

Hello from sunny California, now home to two three vaginally-afflicted members of your crack Wonkette cyborg team. It is a fun state, full of many wonderful things like giant trees, Mexican goth teens, and of course, Danny DeVito's allegedly...

Liveblogging Part VI: Californication … Jerry Brown Is Governor Again

With polls closed in the bankrupt republic of California, ABC 7 in Los Angeles is bravely sticking to Dancing With the Stars. Everything about tonight is fantastic. But what about the "Year of the Billionaire Woman," that thing we...

Carly Fiorina In Hospital, Meg Whitman Concedes To Governor Brown

Let's check in with our California Bureau to see what's going on with all the hawt governor races and Senate races and the Marijuana Legalize It law and other such concerns in the world's fifth sixth seventh ninth tenth...

Barbara Boxer Is Married (Sorry?)

Cool Boxer Staffer Arrested For Bringing Pot Into Hart Building

An advisor to Sen. Barbara Boxer was arrested yesterday for having some marijuana on him during a security screening at the Hart Senate Office Building yesterday, according to Politico, which is known for sticking pot in the pockets of...

Barbara Boxer Does Boxing Analogy To Carly Fiorina’s ‘Wall Street Values’

California heavyweight Barbara Boxer pulled no punches as she savagely pounded newcomer rival Carly Fiorina in a decision knockout filled with low blows and direct hits. Before a ringside audience outside San Francisco, Boxer dominated despite a height disadvantage...

Carly Fiorina’s Got a Posse (It Is Very Small!)

GOP Senate candidate and high-tech dynamo Carly Fiorina has been sending her loyal supporters to protest Barbara Boxer and her new "Jobs for California Tour" -- aka the “broken promises tour,” ha. Fiorina’s paparazzi have been taking pictures of...

Barbara Boxer’s Twitter Baffled By All Those Udall Endorsements

Senator Boxer is very thankful for Stewart/Mo/Mark/Tom Udall's nice endorsement/letter/whatever, in that one state, in the Western U.S. What a guy(s)!

Carly Fiorina Learns About Live Mics While Mocking Barbara Boxer’s Hair

Carly Fiorina is already abusing her lifelong "you can't make fun of my hair because I had cancer" privileges by savagely mocking the hair of actual senator Barbara Boxer. What's Carly's excuse? Oh gosh, she didn't know those broadcast...

LOLberals Are Mental Children

Liberals are totally leotarded according to a recent poll administered by Zogby International, which polled a self-selected group of Internet individuals about economics and GOTCHA the liberals did terrible! Did you hear? Last night patriarchy was overthrown in America!...

Other Non-Liveblogged Primaries Also Merit Your Attention!

And now, the primary results you've all been waiting for ... the race for the GOP nomination for South Carolina's first congressional district! Wait, you weren't waiting for this? Well, fuck you. Strom Thurmond's son advanced...