December 9, 2013
We live in weird times, and we are not talking about just gay marijuana orgies in Colorado, because Sens. Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX) are joining Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) on her military sexual assault bill. According to Politico: The tea party favorites give the bill’s lead sponsor, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, critical conservative [...]
Hello from sunny California, now home to two three vaginally-afflicted members of your crack Wonkette cyborg team. It is a fun state, full of many wonderful things like giant trees, Mexican goth teens, and of course, Danny DeVito’s allegedly hyperactive peen. But what else does California have to offer its mixed population of liberal shitstains [...]
With polls closed in the bankrupt republic of California, ABC 7 in Los Angeles is bravely sticking to Dancing With the Stars. Everything about tonight is fantastic. But what about the “Year of the Billionaire Woman,” that thing we had in 2010? Did Meg Whitman manage to buy a very expensive thing almost nobody else [...]
Let’s check in with our California Bureau to see what’s going on with all the hawt governor races and Senate races and the Marijuana Legalize It law and other such concerns in the world’s fifth sixth seventh ninth tenth biggest failed economy. First, the Republican lady who destroyed so many lives in California, Carly Fiorina, [...]
An advisor to Sen. Barbara Boxer was arrested yesterday for having some marijuana on him during a security screening at the Hart Senate Office Building yesterday, according to Politico, which is known for sticking pot in the pockets of Hill staffers along with copies of Politico. Marcus Stanley, the pot-haver in question, has worked on [...]
California heavyweight Barbara Boxer pulled no punches as she savagely pounded newcomer rival Carly Fiorina in a decision knockout filled with low blows and direct hits. Before a ringside audience outside San Francisco, Boxer dominated despite a height disadvantage (she literally stood her ground atop a wooden box) and Fiorina’s low blows and cheap shots. [...]
GOP Senate candidate and high-tech dynamo Carly Fiorina has been sending her loyal supporters to protest Barbara Boxer and her new “Jobs for California Tour” — aka the “broken promises tour,” ha. Fiorina’s paparazzi have been taking pictures of her protester armies and posting them on her online Twitpic photo album, to show We the [...]
Senator Boxer is very thankful for Stewart/Mo/Mark/Tom Udall’s nice endorsement/letter/whatever, in that one state, in the Western U.S. What a guy(s)! [Twitter]
Carly Fiorina is already abusing her lifelong “you can’t make fun of my hair because I had cancer” privileges by savagely mocking the hair of actual senator Barbara Boxer. What’s Carly’s excuse? Oh gosh, she didn’t know those broadcast microphones and video cameras pointed at her were turned on. Watch the shameful video.
Liberals are totally leotarded according to a recent poll administered by Zogby International, which polled a self-selected group of Internet individuals about economics and GOTCHA the liberals did terrible! [Wall Street Journal/Econ Watch] Did you hear? Last night patriarchy was overthrown in America! Now that women rule the civilized world, be prepared for mandatory Mama [...]
And now, the primary results you’ve all been waiting for … the race for the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district! Wait, you weren’t waiting for this? Well, fuck you. Strom Thurmond’s son advanced to a runoff against the only black Republican in South Carolina’s state legislature. Bet you think it’s interesting now, [...]
Why won’t Barack Obama let The Troops who liberated Haiti from Hugo Chavez’s earthquake machine fly the Stars and Stripes? [The Corner] NASA discovered a delightful popcorn shrimp frolicking 600 feet below Antarctica. [The Daily Dish] Here is some horrifying footage of Barbara Boxer’s cap and trade-powered Zeppelin carpet bombing the quiet streets of Malibu [...]
Carly Fiorina is notable for exactly one thing: like three weeks ago, she became famous for having the Internet’s worst website. She thought it would be enough, you see, to let people know that the worlds “Carly Fiorina” sort of sound like “California,” and this is how she expected to defeat Barbara Boxer for her [...]
Barbara Boxer sees Brad Woodhouse’s “Republicans = Taliban” and raises him a “Republicans, namely Michael Steele = Taliban + Hamas,” which is true, but not really because of Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize.