Wonkette

WHAT HAS BARBARA BOXER DONE TO HER HAIR? Maybe it’s just been a while since we’ve seen her on television. Now she looks like Meredith Viera. Dude down the aisle from us is losing his mind clapping for Barbara Boxer. “Sixty is the new fifty,” the end, thank you California. Onward.

* Heard on the Hill: Chaos at the Capitol as a crazy woman tries to take a cop’s gun and a bunch of suspicious packages are found…. Steve Cohen is totally screwing Cybill Shepard… “Wryly acknowledging his reputation as a playboy, former Rep. Harold Ford Jr. (D-Tenn.) assured Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D) that he has no designs on O’Malley’s teenage daughter.” Ok, WTF everyone… Barbara Boxer: Short! She needs to stand on a box to reach the mic! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Celebrities, DC people attend another gala… Woman who wrote book about cancer to respectfully cash in on current popularity of the disease. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Those suspicious packages showed up as a bunch of congresspeople were trying to pray or something. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Phil Hare fell asleep during a congressional hearing and C-Span filmed the whole thing… Now we’re on to the “first 100 days” of the Dem congress… The Gridiron dinner won’t have the President and it’s being held somewhere new and no one will go. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: You excited for the Media Research Center’s annual “Media DisHonor Awards”? No? Why do you hate America? [Politico]

* Senate sounds “the bugle of retreat” by setting “the date certain for surrender” and “mandating failure.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Tony Snow isn’t as much of a man as Elizabeth Edwards. [WP, WP, NYT, LAT]
* More like Federal Bureau of Incompetence. [WP, NYT]
* Driven mad with power, Barbara Boxer tries to revive a 1923 equal rights amendment. [WP]
* It sucks to be Dennis Hastert right now. [NYT]
* Military not a fan of the internet, wants l33t hax0rs to shut down terrorist sites. [USAT]
* It’s not just the American people, even other tyrannical world leaders are sick of President Bush. [WP]

* If Hieronymus Bosch had Photoshop he’d kick all these whipper-snappers’ asses. [The Art Directors Club]
* Robert Gates admits what Rumsfeld never could: “I’m no expert on military matters.” [CBS News]
* Barney Frank bangs his gavel 10, maybe 20 times a day. [C&L]
* Barbara Boxer cunt-punches Condi. [Passport]
* New Trump Tower Tehran would be gorgeous, baby, just gorgeous. [Think Progress]
* Dennis Kucinich’s music video takes patience, oooooh yeah, just a little patience. [Washington Wire]

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Linda Sánchez judged a “best package” contest at Cobalt last week… Sex-starved middle-aged Washington women swooned over Richard Gere at the Old Ebbitt Grill… HoH columnist Mary Ann Akers is moving to Washingtonpost.com. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Reliable Source readers vote Cynthia McKinney’s Cap Police beatdown the best Washington Gossip of ‘06. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Congressional offices all pretending they’re not betting like fiends on today’s Florida/OSU game, though Deborah Pryce and Adam Putnam have some sort of “betting for little kids” candy-vs.-pie thing going on… 300 old people protested AEI… Nancy Pelosi washes own hair at Salon! [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Former Post-ites turned Politico anchors John Harris and Jim VandHei smoke lots and lots of weed while discussing future of journalism… Arnold Schwarzenegger is eying Barbara Boxer’s seat, if you know what we mean. [USN&WR]

Pictured: Senator Barbara Boxer of California, announcing the Democratic Senate majority’s new “Forced Cult Marriages For All” initiative with brainwashed robot bride Katie Holmes.

Barbara Boxer, in a letter to the Washington Post, asks: MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Patrick Kennedy’s court-ordered treatment includes mandatory weekly urine tests and AA meetings. He’s also considering writing a book about addiction with his sponsor, Representative Jim Ramstad. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: The U.S. Capitol Historical Society is going to honor Duke Cunningham, Tom DeLay, others for “hard work, service, time and the sacrifices made in upholding the office with which they were entrusted.” [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: Fat Joe spoke yesterday to the Campus Progress National Student Conference, called women “bitches and hos.” Also, “intelligent, beautiful.” … Al Gore got an Entertainment Weekly cover. [WP]
• Lowdown: Nancy Reagan, like the nation, is still sad that Ronald’s dead. [NYDN]
• Page Six: “Fashion mogul Perry Wolfman” is hosting a fundraiser at his Fire Island mansion for gay marriage opponents Chuck Schumer and Barbara Boxer. [NYP]

In this edition of Chatology, Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff pulls a half-Ginsburg, spinning through both Meet the Press and This Week. On various issues, Chertoff blames Michael Brown, Mary Matalin blames the media, Joe Lieberman blames Chertoff, Evan Bayh blames the Democrats, and David Gregory blames himself. Random wisdom from Ari Fleischer: “You can be right and still be bonkers.” Speaking of which: Cheney is “almost like the wizard dealing with the muggles” — Howard Fineman.

Full rundown and highlights after the jump.

[Ed. note: Don't miss Ana Marie Cox's appearance at the National Press Club, this Wednesday, February 22, at 6:30 PM. For more details, as well as information about how to obtain tickets to this free event, click here.]

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• Washington Whispers: Turns out many modern presidents don’t like the Oval Office. . . Springsteen for Senate? In Sen. Jon Corzine’s dream. . . “International incident” may result when the National Zoo must turn over panda Tai Shan to China in two years. . . Sen. Barbara Boxer: “If liberals read [my novel] and it makes them happy, then I consider it a success.” [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush’s trip to the southwest includes fundraising stops for Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO). [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Jayson Blair on Judith Miller: “[A] lot of reporters there live by special rules. What scares people at The Times is how quickly you can switch from being a star to being vilified.” [NYDN]