Has anyone else had recurring nightmares about being forced to read this exact PoLiTiCo article over and over, for eternity? You wake up in sweats, trembling. You have just experienced the nearest thing the political Internet can offer as an equivalent to the Sisyphean Task. Just as you reach Peak Politico, it rolls back and starts anew. MORE »

In today’s edition of “Things That Are Impossible To Overstate, According To The News Media,” we return to that years-old question of whether Barack Obama either modestly dislikes women, or hates every single woman’s fucking guts. This was a hot topic last year when Barack Obama defeated a woman in a presidential primary, a heinous display of chauvinism. Why not crap on Susan B. Anthony’s grave and punch Lucretia Mott in the boob, while you’re at it? And now Obama has done something far worse: played various sports with coteries of men, instead of women. This is the very definition of being “pro-life.” MORE »

This is one of those Jake Tapper-esque “Just sayin’, it’s a fact, just sayin’…” style twats from CBS’ Mark Knoller, who probably doesn’t mean to imply anything, but is just sayin’, this is a statistic, just puttin’ it out there, interpret it how you will, just sayin’. [Twitter]

• TODAY IN HEALTH CARE GOSSIP: This just reeks of Rahm Emanuel’s farts: “Multiple sources tell TPMDC that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is very close to rounding up 60 members in support of a public option with an opt out clause, and are continuing to push skeptical members. But they also say that the White House is pushing back against the idea, in a bid to retain the support of Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME).” Here we will offer a rare moment of positive reinforcement: GO HARRY REID. [TPM]

• SENATE APPROVES GAY HATE CRIMES/WAR BILL: The Senate finally approved after 10 billion years a measure to include gay people and all sorts of wacky gender hybrids under the “hate crimes umbrella,” as part of a massive massive war/death/killing Defense Appropriations bill. Now gays can get married! [NYT]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hello, readers, and welcome to a very special Carton Violence, in which we will turn our eyes away from the foul nightmare that is the editorial pages, and to the innocent, carefree comics pages, which are probably in the back of the section with the TV listings in your local paper! (Ha ha, just kidding, I realize none of you actually read the “paper”.) Do you know that this Saturday is National Make A Difference Day, when you’re supposed to, like, volunteer or something? Of course you don’t, and here’s why: because the White House apparently decided that the best way to publicize this to the masses was to encourage the writers of newspaper comic strips to plant pro-volunteering propaganda in their word-and-picture boxes. Do they think that it’s 1955? Isn’t this the same group of people who won a presidential election entirely by using Twitter? Anyway, the results, as you’ll see after the jump, are mostly laughable and terrible, when they aren’t actively offensive.

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Robert Gibbs, being more Nixonian than the square of Richard Nixon: “What Vice President Cheney calls ‘dithering,’ President Obama calls his solemn responsibility to the men and women in uniform and the American public. I think we’ve all seen what happens when somebody doesn’t take that responsibility seriously.” SIR that is a former crypto-President of the United States of whom you speak! Is this really appropriate, to play hardball with a belligerent psychotic ogre — literally, the worst person you could imagine — just to preserve your precious “agenda”? Is this what the presidency means to Barack Obama? [YouTube]

BAD FORM. Obama has now called Fox News a “talk radio format” station. Naughty naughty rhetorical volley, Sir! SIR! DO YOU HEAR US SIR? Think of the thousands of employees you’ve just insulted, sir. Think of their families and their pets. This rhetoric is OUTRAGEOUS! [YouTube]

We all know that Barack Obama, who is actually Richard Nixon, likes to speak out against certain practices of the health insurance industry solely because Rahm Emanuel wrote “GRRR INSURANCE GRRR!”, in his self-loathing Jew blood, atop the official White House Enemies List, and Obama must obey this list. What “Chicago-style politicians” these guys are, speaking out against private capitalism business people, just trying to make a buck! MORE »

The cold and calculating Barack Obama is acting like just another politician with some grand “political” plan of his, the local toilet paper roll POLITICO tells us. He takes the so-called “powerful opponents” of his agenda out there and tries to weaken them, so as to “pass his agenda.” He is Richard Nixon, minus all of the massive law-breaking. MORE »

• Kathleen Sebelius is asking all card-carrying commies to send an e-greeting to our Dear Leader Barack Obama, in support of his Red Menace public option. Chuck Grassley correctly identified this atrocity as Maoist propaganda wrapped in bacon. And it smells delicious. [Hot Air]
• The data is clear: Americans would prefer to be anal-probed by UFOs, and not Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
• What has happened to our America? Hm? Black people sit on their bums, and collect their Social Security. Honest businessmen aren’t allowed to give to charity, it’s illegal! And our youth — teenagers fuck on the first date. And, God help us, that’s just the way it is. [Townhall]
• Net Neutrality is the depth charge that will explode Freedom, which in this metaphor is represented by a U-Boat or something. [RedState]
• The RNC no longer pleases Michelle Malkin, sexually. [Michelle Malkin]