Here's what Emanuel said at his liberal conference:

"At this point, Barack is the presumptive nominee," said Rep. Rahm Emanuel during the New Yorker's magazine conference. "Hillary can't win but something could happen that could effect that Barack could lose the nomination."

Easy. Everyone is getting a little over their ski tips. It must be a slow news day. All Rahm said was that Sen. Obama is now the front-runner, which by and large means, because of the calendar, he is the presumptive nominee, at this point. He was stating the obvious.

* "Sen. Barack Obama moved into the lead today in the last category that Sen. Hillary Clinton had claimed to have an edge — support among the Democratic Party's superdelegates. The Illinois Democrat grabbed the superdelegate lead thanks to a switch by New Jersey Rep. Donald Payne and an endorsement from previously uncommitted Rep. Peter DeFazio of Oregon. Those two votes gave Obama a 267-266 lead over Clinton." [ABC News]
* "It has become clear that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee .... With this in mind, Rasmussen Reports will soon end our daily tracking of the Democratic race and focus exclusively on the general election competition between Republican John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama." [Rasmussen Reports]
* "In a relatively short amount of time, Clinton has gone from being the inevitable winner to being the underdog to being a dead woman walking." [Roger Simon/Politico]
* "Obama should choose a running mate who 'is in tune with his appeal for the nobler aspirations of the American people,' Kennedy said. 'If we had real leadership — as we do with Barack Obama — in the No. 2 spot as well, it'd be enormously helpful.'" [Ben Smith/Politico]

Indiana had an open primary, so registered Republicans could show up and vote. Just 10% of people who took part in Tuesday's Indiana primary were Republicans, and they only favored Clinton by 8 points. (Independents made up 20% of the voters and overwhelmingly chose Obama.)

So the sum total of the "Limbaugh Effect" on Tuesday's primary was nothing at all in North Carolina and nothing measurable in Indiana. Ashamed and chagrined over his girlfriend Hillary's loss of the nomination, today Limbaugh is pretending he really thinks Obama is the weaker candidate.

Limbaugh's sad effort to fuck with the Texas Democratic primary ended with Obama winning the Republican vote by 4%.

Rush Limbaugh urges vote for Obama [CNN]

"I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on," she said in an interview with USA TODAY. As evidence, Clinton cited an Associated Press article "that found how Sen. Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

World-famous puppet "roommates" Bert and Ernie have a heated political discussion in which Obama emerges the victor, suggesting rumors of faltering gay support for Hillary Clinton are more than just rumors. [YouTube]

• If Hillary only wins 70% of the remaining pledged delegates, that means she only needs the magic number, 69%, of undecided superdelegates. Get it, it's like sex, haw haw haw!
• If she and Obama split the remaining pledged delegates 50-50, she needs 84% of the undecided superdelegates to endorse her loser campaign. As the Clinton camp is surely aware, some guy wrote a book called 1984 once that depicted a dystopian future. "84" is an omen, and Hillary's the only candidate who can bring us that dystopian future!
• Say Obama went crazy and won 60% of the remaining pledged delegates. Well he'd only be screwing himself, as it happens! Hillary would then need 92% of the undecided superdelegates, and what happened in 1992, OH LET ME THINK, maybe that's when her husband beat some old Republican and took over the White House?! Let's do it again!
• The most likely scenario for Hillary to become president, however: Barack Obama wins 54% of the remaining pledged delegates and 60% of undecided superdelegates, and Hillary shoots him in the face with her fake Hitler Gun, and then Al Gore becomes president again at the convention and she shoots him too, the end.

Do you know about Gary? Do you know black Gary is? Barack got 75% of that first batch, that's how black. ALL the Jackson brothers and sisters are from Gary, plus Morgan Freeman, that's how black.

11:54 PM — Too tired/drunk for a fancy "live blog," so we'll just do what we're doing. Your co-editors are in the "special chat room" with your editor. So we will paste some stuff in, from them.
11:55 PM — If they can actually type.
11:57 PM — Anderson Cooper to John King, just now: "You're like the Rain Man of politics."
12:00 MIDNIGHT — Oh they dug up Larry King, got his muppeteer, and here we go.
12:01 — It's special that "count all the votes" is going to become the 2008 primary call of idiocy, too.
JIM NEWELL — "who'd you rather fuck: Chuck Todd, or Jesus?"
12:10 AM — For Obama it has gone from 1776 to 1816. What important numerology thing happened in 1816?

Jim N.
tim russert was just like, "we know who gon be the democratic nominee, there's no disputing it." so authoritative!
Sara S.
"she has some real soul-searching to do." Like she has a SOUL.
Sara S.
God, they are loving this.

12:32 AM — Still 19,000 votes between Barack and Hillary, in Indiana, with 92% reporting, and 1.15 million votes counted.
12:33 AM — John King is now playing World of Warcraft on that creepy Indiana map
12:35 AM — Now it's down to 16,000 votes between them?
12:36 AM — So Barack can still win, but good god it would be close. Hillary may hang onto this thing, her "tiebreaker," which ends her campaign.
12:44 AM — Ha, so Larry King really is John King's great grandfather.
12:45 AM — And we wait.
12:54 AM — Now Anderson Cooper is crank-calling the mayor of Gary, Indiana, or something.
12:54 AM — They are counting absentee votes, because you want to do that as late as possible, long after the polls close, and then "brought the equipment to the airport."
12:55 AM — Early voting apparently overwhelmed this county.
12:55 AM — Not just early voting, but ELEVEN THOUSAND VOTES. What are they counting them with, Michael Jackson's homeless zoo animals?
12:59 AM — John King: "I'm going to try one more time, Mr. Mayor." (Mayor McCheese keeps repeating the number 11,000, like it is a crazy unheard of number, and then he says "disenfranchised" a lot.)
1:03 AM — Still a 16,000 vote gap.
1:04 AM — Wolf Blitzer is still confused as to why the mush-mouth mayor can't explain why his county won't count votes. Wolf is getting PISSED because it is like 5 a.m. in Washington.
1:05 AM — "Something corrupt may be happening." — Mayor Tom McDermott, Hammond, Indiana.
1:07 AM — Mayor Clay: "There is no hanky panky going on here in Lake County."
1:07 AM — Clay is an Obama supporter, McDermott is a Hillary supporter.
1:07 AM — Ha, there is something weird going on.
1:08 AM — Where is Katherine Harris?
1:08 AM — Suddenly we're at 98% of Lake County, and Barack is now 55-45.
1:09 AM — Clinton is still winning with 18,000 votes?
1:10 AM — Hillary is going to take Indiana?
1:11 AM — The hilarious mayor of Gary, Indiana, is STILL on the phone.
1:13 AM — So Hillary gets 37 delegates in Indiana, and Obama gets 35.

9:52 PM — Major Garrett: "The atmosphere in here can only be described as excruciating." Yes, we are watching FOX. But now it's a commercial, so over to CNN and Bobblehead Bill Schneider and Soledad O'Brien, who has very good skin.
9:56 PM — Independents went (so far) to Obama by 53% to 47%. We missed the theorizing at Rush Limbaugh's retarded "Operation Chaos" because we were too busy typing about Soledad's complexion.
9:57 PM — Lanny Davis: Greetings America, I am dressed like a mob lawyer! And now I am talking like one. Blah blah blah, she is carrying the Democratic Party's base...Yes, but has she brought peace to the Niger Delta in her off hours? HMMMMM????? Now back to "dele-GATES", and words words about how if you compare her poll numbers to McCain's in certain areas, and divide the answer by the number of thumbs you have up your ass, you can project the alignment of the stars over Michigan and Florida that will friolate Democracy into a crisp.
10:02 PM — Gergen: Sorry, Davis, but your girl blew it. Why is Donna Brazile not saying anything?
10:03 PM — John King: Yeah sorry Davis, have you heard of this thing called Math? It is Daunting, for your girl. John King is doing crazy things with the touch screen.
10:06 PM — Davis reiterates that he is friends, respectful friends with everybody at CNN, but they all know where they can put their Math. Oh, poor mob lawyer Lanny Davis. Obama prevented the re-vote in Florida and Michigan, which means with all due respect there is a respectful disagreement about whether or not Obama is a traitor. Also Math can go fuck itself.
10:09 PM — That guy next to Gergen just said, "If my aunt had a male appendage, she'd be my uncle." He has clearly been talking with Carville.
10:10 PM — Donna Brazile has the most wonderful metallic-colored hair, which is apparently a wig. She is on the Rules Committee, did you know that? That means she has more power than you can imagine, but no opinion on anything.
10:12 PM — LIQUOR BREAK BRB, DRUNK.
10:15 PM — Layne asks, "do you think pelosi fucks gingrich? 'speaker of the house benefits' or something? did anyone else see that commercial?" Help him out, dudes!
10:16 PM — Also there are places called Marion and Gary and Lake in Indiana, and they all need to be counted, which will annoy the rest of America who will have to stay up late if they are terrible political dorks like SOME OF US. Do you know who's from Gary? All of the Jacksons, including Michael. Poor Hillary Clinton is on tenterhooks. Will she talk before they release the absentee ballots, or will she make her bitter old supporters stay up till midnight?
10:19 PM — Eff this, we are going to FOX. Some mildly corpulent man is talking about Lake County, and how they keep all the black Indianans there. There and Gary. What is wrong with Brit Hume's hair? Which rodent does it most closely resemble? The FOX dude is like "Indiana goes to Hillary, don't worry."
10:22 PM — Live camera on sad Hillary voters shuffling around some tragic Indiana gathering-place. Hume looks defeated and very tired. He's like "So, uh, anybody got any questions?" The atmosphere may best be described as "funereal." Or, "excruciating," if you are Major Garrett. Good God, did somebody slip Hume a quaalude or something?
10:26 PM — Nina Easton is getting eaten by her wig while she tries to talk about McCain being tethered to George Bush. So let's talk about Reverend Wright, and how even if John McCain takes the high road, his surrogates can take the very, very low one! Plus we can hope the Reverend will freak out and start exposing himself on national television. Fred Barnes is like, "Yeah, sadly, I doubt that will happen," and they all sigh and go back to their shuffleboard and Mr. Pibbs.
10: 28 PM — We hear that "Lanny Davis has death in his face right now," so we should probably flip back to CNN. Donna Brazile just challenged Lanny Davis to a fight in the green room. Eyes, nose, throat, groin!
10:31 PM — Who is this captivating gentleman with the truckloads of makeup and the mustache of a card sharp? He has just made a very sober observation, which is that looking at general election matchups right now is nonsense. Lanny Davis is like BUT STILL, THE BLUE COLLARS LIKE HILLARY and Jamal Simmons says, "Forget about the white males, dude, we lost them a generation ago."
10:34 PM — Evan Bayh speaking now, he is boring, so CNN doesn't care. This is why Bayh ran for like two weeks before dropping out. Didn't he? FACT CHECK PLS.
10:35 PM — Jeffrey Toobin just admitted he has no new ideas for Hillary.
10:38 PM — Hillary Clinton greets a feverish crowd, and Ken Layne is covering it LIVE, right here, on the next liveblog.

Earlier in the day, Barack and Michelle checked out Hillary's new line of doormats. [AP Photos]

9:10 PM — Keith Olbermann declares the crowd must be on its feet 20 times tonight or else Obama is a loser. Michelle looking impeccable in her crazy orange dress. And here's the man of the evening! How many former friends, associates, and pastors, and Weathermen will he throw under the bus in this rousing speech?
9:12 PM — Who is the chancellor of NC State, and why does this person have such a difficult to pronounce name? The camera pans around wildly to a very caucasian-looking crowd.
9:14 PM — He congratulates Hillary on her victory in Indiana, so that he will look gracious if she actually wins it and like a terribly clever mind-fucker if she does not. He reminds America that North Carolina is big, which is important.
9:15 PM — OMG HE SAID BITTER, as in "bitter cold." Elitist.
9:17 PM — This has been one of the longest, most irritating, most tedious contests fought in American history. No kidding. This race, he tells us, is not about any of the people running for President, and what they wear and how big their asses are and what sorts of decorations they put on their collars. No, it is about you, the dull and downtrodden American people.
9:19 PM — Ding, drink, he mentioned John McCain, is there some sort of drinking game tonight? And segue to the Civilian Anecdotes. They can't afford four more years of four more years! Hey where is John Edwards tonight?
9:22 PM — The guy who lost his job and can't afford the gas to drive around and get a new one? That is the saddest man in the world, besides that New Hampshire dude. He is so sad that a fiction writer could not have thought of a sadder person. And the crowd goes wild.
9:25 PM — You should be able to count on a job that pays the bills, and healthcare, and an education? Really? What is this magical country in which a water plant worker can support his whole family? A water plant dude can support maybe his Cheetos habit, and an occasional fried baloney sandwich.
9:26 PM — Now he goes after McCain. Now THAT dude is an out-of-touch elitist, because he was born before the middle class was invented.
9:28 PM — Did not get into this race to avoid the nasty politics, got into it to end it. Hmm, good luck with that.
9:30 PM — He trusts the American people to understand a lot of things the American people do not understand. NEWS FLASH he is getting all up in Hillary's shit in Indiana (behind by 4 points now). He will lose by a razor-thin margin and the race will march grimly on.
9:32 PM — What is that dude doing behind the sign? Texting? Picking his nose? The dude over Obama's right shoulder. Ken Layne writes, "hey sara mention that cnn just project 1776 delegates for Barry right when he's talking about whatever founding fathers stuff — NUMEROLOGY??" The answer is yes.
9:34 PM — Huzzah, MCCAIN WINS INDIANA. Oh they are on their feet in NC again. How many times is that, Olbermann? Hmm, and he closes with a "May God bless you and the United States of America." Is that a new addition? Wow, Michelle's dress is BRIGHT.
9:37 PM — And now they are back to bitter and Rev. Wright and all the "divisions and distractions" Obama just spent 20 minutes railing against. Wow Obama is ahead by 16% in North Carolina. We had not been looking at the Numbers.
9:39 PM — Chuck Todd: Oh goodness it looks like the state of Indiana has syphilis. Obama needs 55% of the yet-to-be-counted votes, and now Chuck Todd is circling all the poxy areas on the map. He says he has been talking to the Obama Boiler Room and they say they'll lose it by 10 or 15,000 votes. Chuck Todd wants to know where French Lick is.
9:42 PM — Russert: Clinton needed an early, decisive victory in Indiana. Instead she got an early, decisive defeat in North Carolina. Also the gas tax holiday debate played to Obama's advantage.
9:44 PM — Olbermann wants to know what Obama will need to get in Indiana in order to put away Clinton. Russert punts. He cannot pronounce the word "detrimental." Or "burden." Let's see what words Tom Brokaw will mispronounce! Brokaw's eyes appear to be receding into tiny little burrows in his head. In fact it is unclear if he has actual eyeballs anymore. Who needs 'em anyhow when you're just writing about The Greatest Generation all the time?
9:47 PM — Hillary Clinton is going to have herself a hearty chuckle when this is all over and she has won, and she can play a Victory Reel of the douchebags on MSNBC declaring her dead 50 times.
[10:07 PM — She has a new liveblog over here, people! — Ed.]

8:29 — They still haven't called Indiana yet; it's is 55-45 Hillary with 50% of precincts reporting. So this is 51% more precincts reporting than it usually is when they call these things. What gives? Apparently "large" urban centers like Indianapolis and what, Gary, they have a city named Gary, haven't been fully reported. And guess what kind of people live there? "Rappers."
8:32 — Rush Limbaugh is apparently NOT making every Republican vote for Hillary, according to Sportscenter's Keith Olbermann. Republican voters in the open Democratic primary are going 52-46 for Hillary, so it's not a CONSPIRACY, except for DIEBOLD.
8:34 — Pat Buchanan wonders why Barack Obama cannot win West Virginia if he's the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination. So he's answered his own question.
8:42 — Republicans think — 58% to 37% — that Barack Obama is more likely than Hillary Clinton to beat John McCain, according to exit polls. But clearly no one thinks that John McCain will lose.
8:43 — Norah O'Donnell gives that stat about Republicans and asks Keith and Chris if it's their "favorite exit poll info of the night," and Chris and Keith giddily say yes. Everyone on MSNBC masturbates to Barack Obama three times a day, and that's a Liberal estimate.
8:45 — Obama chief strategist David Axelrod is on the teevee now, and he's just not a good-looking fella. He's from Chicago and it shows. No, not the ugliness! Just the unattractiveness.
8:47 — Here's Chuck Todd now, that nice delegate boy from MSNBC who you always rejected when he asked you to Prom.
8:48 — God, how hot is that lady in this post's picture? I'd marry her for her money, any day.
8:49 — So apparently Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill was on teevee earlier and declared her love for Chuck Todd. They just asked Chuck Todd about this and he got SO AWKWARD! Just date her, Chuck! You've gotta lower yr expectations.
8:50 — Ha ha ha, they are now interviewing Harold Ford Jr. in a segment called "The Insiders." It merited a "ha ha ha" because Harold Ford Jr. isn't an Insider at all, he lost his Senate election last year and now is nothing, while his black friend Barack is going to be president.
8:54 — Is it possible that Hillary would go back to the White House as vice president? We could easily see her being the next Dick Cheney, if that's what you're asking, Harold.
8:56 — Now might be a good time to remind the American people that Ron Paul is already president.
8:57 — GO RON PAUL 2008 WORLD OF WARCRAFT KING.
8:59 — Obama's closing that gap in Indiana, now that the Colored Votes are being counted. It's 53-47 now. Can that please happen, so I can on my vacation after posting about this shit 10-12 times a day for seven months? Oops, I mean, "I love the competition."
9:02 — Tom Brokaw's talking, but since I'm not 89 and a Normandy veteran, I'm not worthy of listening. Instead let's just post a funny Wonkette reader e-mail from earlier today, about Jenna Bush:

"I went online to look for her wedding plans, and all I found on your site was FILTH ! This is a daughter , just like carter and Clintons...that is just Terrible. I will never go on your site again. I always told my kids, if people have to talk about you that much and say bad things, then you must be pretty important."

THIS IS A DAUGHTER, PEOPLE!
9:05 — Andrea Mitchell calls black urban centers "Obama areas," the ones that have not been counted because of slavery.
9:08 — Barack Obama is about to speak to his supporters soon, so we'll end this live blog. Next up will be Sara K. Smith, who has been out on the town all evening but will liveblog his speech.

7:35 PM — Barack won that state we all knew he would win!
7:36 PM — But by how much? Enough to rob Hillary of her evil scheme to steal the nomination like some comical top-hatted villain?
7:40 PM — There is a black politician from South Carolina on MSNBC, talking about the "black church." Why, we've heard something about that, somewhere, once, for the past month or four, so let's switch to CNN.
7:42 PM — And CNN's under-the-commercial ticker just said Obama 40%-Clinton 60%, in North Carolina, so of course he is the winner.
7:43 PM — Oh ha ha, that is because two votes were counted at that point.
7:46 PM — And only a "narrow victory" for Hillary in Indiana, if things keep going this way. Why do only half of the Real Americans love Hilz?
7:48 PM — Exit polls also show Indiana's open-Dem primary had a 10% Republican turnout (Go Rush!) and a 20% Independent turnout, so only seven in ten Indiana primary voters are even registered Democrats.
7:51 PM — John King: "Even if she wins the next five contests, Barack Obama is still ahead."
7:52 PM — Joke being, she might win two of those.
7:54 PM — But no matter what happens, AOL comments on my Political Machine column will continue arriving, individually, via e-mail, for the next 30 or 40 hours.
7:55 PM — Oh, you would like to read one? Here: "The question is: WHO IS BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA?
The answer is: NOBODY KNOWS!
WE HAVE 50 STATES —- COUNT THEIR VOTES!
WAKE UP AMERICANS —- HILLARY IS THE BEST CANDIDATE."
7:56 PM — 33% of the precincts are reporting in Indiana, and STILL TOO CLOSE GO HILZ.
7:56 PM — Jesus christ, are we going to continue to act surprised that uneducated blue-collar rural people aren't rushing to vote for a black terrorist from Hawaii?
7:57 PM — Lou Dobbs' orange wig is actually melting into his orange skull, and then sliding out through his jowls/gills.
8:01 PM — Paul Begala just said some weird fucking thing that made us cringe.
8:02 PM — "NPR tote bag totin' liberals," says Paul Begala, who lives in an actual tower made of ivory on the campus of both Yale and Harvard.
8:03 PM — Dippity-shit Donna Brazile says Barack Obama should drink more beer and chew tobacco — she ignores Lou when he says Obama handily won N.C. and is doing pretty well in Indiana. What else should Barack do, Donna? She suggests he should also make moonshine in the shed, let all his teeth fall out, be a-scared of ghosts, keep a sofa on the porch, put up a sign in the yard demanding the Army kick the Jews & UN out of America, and get his own daughters pregnant.
8:06 PM — The guy on the CNN panel who looks like Kevin Spacey's character from "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" just said Hillary is a dog which must be taken to the vet and euthanized.
8:08 PM — Obama is currently ahead 65%-33% in North Carolina.
8:08 PM — And why the suspense in Indiana, where Hillary's at 56% and Obama's at 44%? Wolf Blitzer will tell us, after this commercial for medicine to make you not so sad.
8:15 PM — Wow, did Obama really win the independent voters — often by huge margins — in every contest except for Arkansas and Oklahoma?
8:20 PM — 44% of the Indiana precincts have reported. Why, CNN's John King, won't you tell us who will win?
8:21 PM — He will point to a bunch of counties on a map of Indiana and act like he knows/cares about any of this.
8:22 PM — Hey he just drew creepy eyes at the top of Indiana's "head."

6:04 PM — We were pretty sure polls closed at 7:30 p.m. or something in Indiana. But we are wrong. We haven't had our dinner yet.
6:05 PM — Ha ha, Hotty McSuzanne Malveaux just talked about the "blue class voters" of Indiana. No wonder the time zone is so weird.
6:06 PM — Exit poll, here we go ... oh no not really, they are just talking about the exit polls nobody really cares about: issues, blah blah.
6:07 PM — By "nobody" we mean "the lunatics who only want the vote numbers."
6:08 PM — AH HAH SO WE WERE RIGHT. There are some Indiana polls still open. This is why there are no numbers until 7 p.m., just like we always knew, in our hearts. God DAMN America, we are going to run out and get tacos.
6:11 PM — Nothing like hearing election results described in terms of "slave areas," which is what the Charts Guy just did on CNN.
6:13 PM — Howard Dean's on MSNBC. What will he say?
6:13 PM — He will not exactly say that Hillary invents delegate numbers.
6:13 PM — And he's not going to do what Hillary wants, because obviously Obama's campaign would have to agree with it, and they are not going to agree to be ruined.
6:14 PM — Tacos, now!
(Newell, you want to start the next one when you're done with whatever racist thing you do on an x-Box?)
6:45 PM — Yes he does: Here is the New Liveblogging.

Elizabeth doesn't like Obama's "health care plan or his advertising on health care, which I think is misleading," but she also hates Hillary's "lobbyist money."

Meanwhile, John says, "I like something different about Hillary. I think her tenacity shows a real strength that's inside her." But he doesn't like "a lot of the old politics," which is code for "her third testicle."

John & Elizabeth Edwards: What We Like (and Dislike) About Clinton & Obama [People]

"Well, you know, James Carville is well-known for spouting off his mouth without always knowing what he's talking about," Obama told "Nightline." "And I intend to stay focused on fighting for the American people because what they don't need is 20 more years of performance art on television. And that's what James Carville and a lot of those folks are expert at ... a lot of talk and not getting things done for the American people."

It is a chilling thought indeed to think America's Most Important Primary (Indiana) may be decided by a demographic that is basically a bunch of Wonkette readers, but even younger, dumber, and drunker. This is why Barack Obama's team has gone to such extraordinary lengths to boost the youth vote, doing everything short of turning polling booths into kegerators.

Will all the shuttles and rallies and on-campus voting be enough to put Obama over the top in Indiana? Probably not, because Hillary's army of bitter moms has already voted twice today.

Will Exams Cost Obama Student Votes? [Wall Street Journal]

The 110-year-old candidate has done his best to look "vigorous" this campaign season, mostly by romancing reporters with promises of dry rubs and plastering his Web site with 50-year-old photos of himself. But this deceives no one who can remember back to Bob Dole's embarrassing 1996 Presidential run, which also failed because the candidate was so horribly old.

None of this bodes well for Hillary Clinton, either, who will run as Vice President in 2008 and 2012 before taking up her bid for the top of the ticket in 2016 at the tender age of 1 million.

Will age be just a number in '08? [Politico]

Here is one of Obama's Muslim houses, which you can see more about on INSIDE EDITION this week:

Your grandfather surely will stop believing Obama is a Muslim after this EXCLUSIVE.