Wonkette

Here it is again, my friends. It is also here. And here’s the fun entire debate, via C-SPAN, after the jump. MORE »

That debate was more boring than, uh… more boring than a Nordic opera singer being interviewed on Charlie Rose! More boring than the short-lived Pat Sajak Sunday night talk show on Fox News! MORE BORING THAN DAVID BROOKS SPARRING WITH ELEANOR CLIFT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION. Meaning, Obama didn’t say anything nutty, and Walnuts just made a bunch of jokes about Jell-O and green ears and colored people. Let’s see how other “people on the Internet” are reacting. Hint: Sullivan has a strong opinion! MORE »

This is the first time your editor has really paid attention to those squiggly lines on the CNN independent voter torture graph. Wow! The uncommitted voters of Ohio do not like this John McCain character. The only time we’ve seen a real happy response to McCain was when he was talking very generally (and quite well) about America’s history as a “peacekeeper.” (Ha.) And then he had to snarl and say “this isn’t the time for on-the-job training,” and the male and female lines went down like the stock market. What does it mean? MORE »

Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this were Star Wars, we’d just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama “that one.” Now onward, onward. MORE »

The New Great Depression hobo pictured here is Joe Biden, getting on the hobo train from Washington to Delaware to tend to his adult children. Joe Biden therefore cannot debate tonight, so lil’ old Hopey will have to debate against the old fart in his place. Who can pretend he will fix the economy more to these town hall people? Are any of them hot? No they are fat, and Barack Obama will drop air bombs on them or whatever is it Palin says. (Here are Part I and Part II.) MORE »

If there was ever a time for an old-fashioned community meetin’ at the old town hall, what with the world comin’ to an end and such, that time is now, brothers and sisters. But, we can’t even do a Great Depression right, so get ready for a lot of inane questions submitted via Twitter on the Internet or whatever, as McCain prepares to challenge Obama on the question of whether black people should even be allowed to vote, let alone run for president. MORE »

To your left is the shack where her editor spent her “vacation,” getting harassed by banana slugs and watching the VP debate in a bar full of scratch-off Lotto ticket addicts who muttered angry things about “Barack HUSSEIN Obama” on their way out. (Kidding! That is another one of John McCain’s eleventy billion subprime properties, now on sale in exchange for a sack of speckled beans.) Anyhow now we are back, rested and refreshed! We hear there is some sort of a talky talky with whatsisface, Hussein, and the little angry man. What magical maps is John King drawing at this very moment to show us how Poverty will finally triumph over Racism this electoral cycle? MORE »

NO MORE DRINKING GAMES, JUST DRINKING: Here’s your Tuesday Night Financial Apocalypse Obama-Biden Town Hall Debate Schedule. At 8:30 p.m. Eastern, join us for exciting pre-debate live-blogging, followed by hours of crazy debate and post-debate liveblogging from your editors, including Sara K., who is back at work, finally. Because of the National Crisis, there are no more frivolous drinking games. Just lots of quiet, angry drinking. [MSNBC Debates]

Here are more of your fancy “math numbers” showing that Obama is not only still ahead in mostly every state in the world, but his leads are still growing. Wait… Obama? Who is the REAL Barack Obama? A space cockroach? A used crack pipe? We do not know yet because John McCain has not told us, so these polls don’t count, bwah. [FiveThirtyEight]

In just a few hours, the failed pilot and famous celebrity Maverick John McCain will join scary educated Hawaiian Barack Obama for a “town hall” debate, which means extremely regular-looking people who successfully pretend to be “independent” will hog the mic all night with their lame personal stories, and McCain will go “heh heh heh” a lot, and Barack will shake his head in that way, with dignity, and promise to seize McCain’s $100 Million Personal Fortune and redistribute it, to the people at the Town Hall. MORE »

Shortly after this photograph was taken, the gentleman on the right was offered the Republican nomination for vice president. He turned it down to go run Lehman Brothers instead. Thanks to Brian for sending this along.

This isn’t technically an “email,” but a comment left on your editor’s new AOL column — we know, we know, fish in a barrel, etc. But it is just too good to sit unnoticed between another hundred dumb comments, so let’s enjoy the financial wisdom and cheery electoral predictions from “Simon.” MORE »

MORONS IN THE NEWS: Webclown Jerome Corsi — the wingnut promoter of 9/11 conspiracies and North American Union Amero fantasies — went to Kenya to do some stunt with his dumb Obama book, and the crafty Africans put him in jail, the end. [AFP]