barack obama
Guest Post From A U.S. Marine About Barack Obama’s Shocking And Disgusting Use Of An Umbrella
Yesterday we learned of one more reason to impeach the Kenyan impostor: as he was giving his press conference with the Turkish whoever, it began to rain, and he summoned two United States Marines over to hold umbrellas over himself and his Very Important Guest. Commentors at the Free Republic howled that PBO was trying [...]
Haw Haw, Dumb Jerk Barack Obama Cannot Even Stand A Little Rain, What A Dumb Jerk
Hey, Drudge and Weekly Standard, did anything happen during President Richard Milhouse Obama’s press conference with the Turkish premiere or prime minister or president or whatever? (We are not required to know who that guy is, because AMERICA.) Oh, nothing, he just CALLED OUT THE MARINES? Well that is one way to murder all of [...]
Ted Nugent’s Immigration Reform: Let’s Make Illegals Be Our Butlers
by Doktor Zoom
Poopypants draft dodger Ted Nugent loves America and the Constitution so much, you guys! He’s even got a plan to save our land from the flood of Messicans by sentencing all illegal immigrants to 5 years of indentured servitude, after which they can stay, maybe. In a WND column that reads like something a group [...]
Hitler Obama Deports Religious Home-Schoolers To Germany, Even Though They Are Not Even Mexican
Having already made war on the First Amendment’s freedom of speech and the First Amendment’s freedom of the press, now it is time for Adolf Hitler Obama to fuck with the OTHER part of the First Amendment, the one that proclaims freedom of and from religion. How is he murdering Christians today? Is he putting [...]
Nice Time: Joe Biden Does Thing
Hey friends! Have you been fighting with your fellow commenters, and all your Twitter friends, and every other liberal in the universe over whether ERIC HOLDER NEEDS TO FUCKING GO, or whether if you say the president did a bad thing then you are dumb worse than Mitch McConnell, or whether ERIC HOLDER HAS BEEN [...]
Stupidest Guest Blogger On Internet Asks: Why You Murder America’s Eagle, Obama Man?
by Doktor Zoom
Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft has a guest blogger, Mara Zebest, who is VERY VERY WORRIED about the disturbing anti-American message sent by the official White House Twitter Feed of Occupied Amercia, which she has decided depicts a “fallen Eagle.” Zebest, a self-proclaimed “Adobe Photoshop expert” who wrote Joe Arapaio’s “analysis” of Barack [...]
The Associated Press reports that the Justice Department “secretly obtained two months of telephone records” of its reporters and editors in what appears to be an attempt to discover the identity of a leaker. Not to stop a terrorist or save a hostage or rescue adorable puppies from the Grinch, but to figure out who [...]
IRS To Holocaust America, Says Never Wrong Matt Drudge
Triple radioactive death ray from space alert siren: the IRS is holocausting America. No, seriously, it is true because Serious Investigationist Reporter Matt Drudge, who has never been wrong about anything, especially when it comes to Holocausty things, says so: It is Just Like Hitler Day again?!?!?!? (Yes, because every day is Just Like Hitler [...]
Ghost Breitbart: Maybe Hitler Was Gay! (Like Obama, Nudge-Nudge, Wink-Wink)
by Doktor Zoom
Actual history information: some maybe-newly-discovered postwar interview notes with Adolf Hitler’s doctors have turned up that have led Ghost Breitbart and the Washington Examiner to the Perfectly Reasonable Conclusion that Adolf Hitler was an obviously fogget. Despite the excitable headlines in the these two fine media establishments, however, Hitler’s doctors didn’t say he was gay [...]
Wonkette Book Club: We Are All Gay For Rachel Maddow’s Book
by Doktor Zoom
One nice thing about writing for Yr Wonkette is that we don’t even have to pretend to hide our raging nerd-crush on Rachel Maddow, or pretend that we don’t just melt in fannish excitement when she acknowledges the existence of our little mommyblog — she’s called Wonkette “profane and excellent” on air…twice! (Squeee!) So we [...]
Zombie Industries ‘Discontinues’ Its ‘The Ex’ Shooting Target (Spoiler No It Doesn’t)
Well that is a relief! The fine fellows at Zombie Industries, the ones who nyuk-nyuk-nyuked about their bleedy Barack Obama “Rocky” target what bleeds when you murder it with your gun, have “discontinued” their shooting targets of “The Ex.” Coincidentally, the Ex is a pretty lady in lingerie what bleeds when you murder it with [...]
Eric Bolling Tastefully Imagines Obama Daughters’ Violent Deaths In Benghazi
by Doktor Zoom
Well, here’s a perfectly legitimate rhetorical question from Fox’s irritable bowel, Eric Bolling. Just suppose that instead of being full of career diplomats and CIA agents, the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi had been defended by Sasha and Malia Obama, or maybe Chelsea Clinton, or perhaps an assortment of baby harp seals and adorable kittens? [...]
GOP Benghazi Hearings Don’t Support Conspiracy Claims, As If That Matters
by Doktor Zoom
The GOP-led hearings on Benghazi have started, and so of course it’s time for Barack Obama to just resign already, isn’t it? Or get impeached? Surely these hearings will be the last nail in his coffin, since they will definitively establish that during the attacks, Barack & Hillary just sat around painting each other’s toes [...]
Wingnut Group Wants To Impeach Obama For Wrecking Stock Market, Dow Hits New Record
by Doktor Zoom
Timing is everything. And if you’re the wingnut publication Capitol Hill Daily, which we’ve never heard of before, you could probably pick a better day than yesterday — when the Dow Jones averaged closed at over 15,000 for the first time ever — to have issued a call for the impeachment of President Obama because [...]
Rush Limbaugh, Naturally, Is Very Concerned About Why Barack Obama Abducted And Raped Those Cleveland Girls
Guys, do you want a person who kidnaps three young girls, and then rapes and beats and impregnates and beats and rapes them some more to be the president of the United States? You DON’T? That is so weird! Because now you and Rush Limbaugh are on the same page! Oh, except Rush Limbaugh doesn’t [...]
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