Tag Archives: bankruptcy

  Abuse Victims Can Suck It -- Again

Deadbeat Minneapolis Archdiocese Went And Blew All Its Money On Sex Abuse Cases

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Minnesota isn’t all Lutherans, though if we’re being honest, yeah, it’s mostly Lutherans. Today, those sola scriptura Scandinavians scored a major victory in their long-running war with Minnesota’s Roman Catholics (shut up, it was too a thing that was happening). The Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis is filing for bankruptcy, because it turns out that child sexual abuse cases can be rather expensive! Read more on Deadbeat Minneapolis Archdiocese Went And Blew All Its Money On Sex Abuse Cases…
  How Toxic's The Water Mama?

Scummy West Virginia-Poisoning CEO Charged With Fraud, Aggravated Dickishness

He's had an extremely hard day.
Remember that li’l ol’ chemical storage plant that leaked a metric shit ton of toxic coal-washing chemicals into West Virginia’s Elk River back in January? And how the CEO of the company responsible for the spill went on teevee and swigged nice clean bottled water while refusing to answer reporters’ questions, because he had had a long difficult day and was very tired, so sorry, please leave him alone, OK? Read more on Scummy West Virginia-Poisoning CEO Charged With Fraud, Aggravated Dickishness…
  Yooge

Thing Atop Donald Trump’s Head Wants To Be President Of Facebook

Is there anything new to say about this asshole?
On the same day that Ohio Sen. Rob Portman dashed the dreams of tens of Americans with an announcement that he would not run for president, The Daily Beast tantalized us with the astonishing prospect that Donald Trump believes Donald Trump may just need to give serious consideration to running for the office of President of The Trump States of America. Read more on Thing Atop Donald Trump’s Head Wants To Be President Of Facebook…
  all the education you can afford

Student Loan Debt Leads to Unexpected Immortality

S-M-R-T
Here is the good news about student loans: they can apparently lead to your eventual immortality. The bad news: they lead to your eventual immortality by haunting your loved ones even after your death. Read more on Student Loan Debt Leads to Unexpected Immortality…
  those who thirst for justice

Detroit’s Spending $5.6 Million To Shut Off Residents’ Water. What Else Could They Spend That On?

Water Rites are another matter altogether
So you’re in Detroit, and you are poor. You probably forgot to pay your water bill for … oh, let’s say “forever” because of how you have no things like “money.” (Kind of like how the city doesn’t have any “money” for piddling little things like “street lights” and “police response.” Then you are probably interested in this story about demonstrators protesting in front of the company that’s been contracted to carry out the shutoffs — at a cost of $5.6 million. That amount of money seems rather large — yes, compared to the $89 million in total unpaid bills, it’s a…. oh, what’s that common term for “a tiny amount in comparison to some much larger amount,” anyway? But the unpaid bills are just revenue the City is missing out on — the shut-offs are an actual expense that the city is paying out. To leave people without water. In the summer. While the United Nations calls the shutoffs a human rights violation and Canadians bring bottled water over the border for Detroit. Read more on Detroit’s Spending $5.6 Million To Shut Off Residents’ Water. What Else Could They Spend That On?…
  the chrysler cordoba of colleges

Barack Obama Murders Capitalism, For-Profit College Just For Being Massive Scam

Damn that Barack Obama and his relentless destruction of free enterprise — he’s gone and done it again, this time killing off a fine little for-profit college that had done nothing wrong at all except for not actually teaching students much of anything, charging through the nose for its classes, and not responding to lawful federal requests for data on whether its graduates actually got jobs in the fields it “trained” them for. Eric Owens at the Daily Caller has the shocking story of big government out of control: Read more on Barack Obama Murders Capitalism, For-Profit College Just For Being Massive Scam…
  that'll learn 'em

Whopping $11,000 Fine In West Virginia Water Poisoning Will Surely Make Polluters Think Twice

In a stirring victory for environmental justice, the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration has slapped Freedom Industries — the company that leaked toxic coal-washing fluid into West Virginia’s Elk River and rendered the water unsafe for over 300,000 people — with an enormous pair of fines that will teach other companies a real lesson about unsafe chemical storage. In another example of Big Government running roughshod over private industry, OSHA body-slammed the company with a $7,000 fine for keeping chemicals in diked areas that were not “liquid tight.” The administration fined Freedom an addition $4,000 for not providing employees with a proper hand railing to walk over the storage dikes. We bet Freedom Industries is real sorry they were so lax on the whole safety thing now. Read more on Whopping $11,000 Fine In West Virginia Water Poisoning Will Surely Make Polluters Think Twice…
  tales of the government teat

Scott Brown Gets His Mouth Shut For Him By Republican Who Loves Obamacare

Scott Brown just knows that you can’t go wrong slagging on Obamacare, because it’s unaffordable and doesn’t work. This is just a given. And so maybe Brown wasn’t quite ready for the reaction he got when he was visiting with New Hampshire state Rep. Herb Richardson, and Brown said that Obamacare was a “monstrosity” that nobody read before passing it, and also executive orders and tyranny and stuff. But instead of nodding and endorsing his (exploratory) Senate bid on the spot, Richardson and his wife Rita explained that the ACA had actually saved their bacon after he was injured on the job and living on Worker’s Comp. The Coos County Democrat reports, Richardson was injured on the job and was forced to live on his workers’ comp payments for an extended period of time, which ultimately cost the couple their house on Williams Street. The couple had to pay $1,100 a month if they wanted to maintain their health insurance coverage under the federal COBRA law. Richardson said he only received some $2,000 a month in workers’ comp. payments, however, leaving little for them to live on. “Thank God for Obamacare!” his wife exclaimed. Now, thanks to the subsidy for which they qualify, the Richardsons only pay $136 a month for health insurance that covers them both. And then Scott Brown apparently replied something along the lines of “Ummmm.” Read more on Scott Brown Gets His Mouth Shut For Him By Republican Who Loves Obamacare…
  morning in gaymerica

Anti-Gay Bigots Accuse Attorney General Eric Holder Of Federal Over-Reach-Around On Gay Rights

Don’t look now, but marriage as we know it is crumbling. Seriously, the allure of man-on-dog-on-oak-tree action is running rampant, and Uncle Sam is doing nothing but encouraging these unnatural homosexual unions, and treating gay people like people, which is UNACCEPTABLE. Attorney General Eric Holder is pushing this ‘all men created equal’ bullshit even further, per The Hill: Attorney Gen. Eric Holder revealed Saturday that the Justice Department would issue a policy memo this week granting gay couples the ability to file jointly for bankruptcy and guaranteeing that married same–sex partners would not be forced to testify against each other in trial. The book of Revelations clearly states that the Apocalypse will be preceded by civilly married gay couples going broke and filling out paperwork for joint bankruptcy JUST LIKE STRAIGHT COUPLES DO. Repent! Or INPEACH! Or something. Let’s same-sexplore.  Read more on Anti-Gay Bigots Accuse Attorney General Eric Holder Of Federal Over-Reach-Around On Gay Rights…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. Moore to complain that we STOLED her brilliant idea that was hers first. And so we proudly present “Today in Tabs, by Heidi N. Moore.” Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy…
  fix it again tony

Eyetalian Car Maker Buys Out Chrysler, Brings Scourge Of Continued Employment To Midwest

Tragedy befell Detroit (again!) with the New Year, as Italian car-joke maker Fiat announced it was buying the 41 percent of Chrysler stock that it doesn’t already own. Fiat was invited by the Obama administration to buy a stake in Chrysler in the tragic summer of 2009, when Chrysler and GM went through government-assisted bankruptcy as part of the socialist takeover of the U.S. auto industry. Since then, both Chrysler and Government Motors have returned fully to private hands, and both are humming along nicely, selling cars that people actually want to buy. But imagine how much better off they’d be doing if the free market had been allowed to work! Read more on Eyetalian Car Maker Buys Out Chrysler, Brings Scourge Of Continued Employment To Midwest…
  debt comes for the archbishop

Federal Judge Says Catholic Church Can Hide Assets From Abuse Victims, For Freedom

Seems like only the beginning of this month that we were all outraged and stuff about the terrible news that the Archdiocese of Milwaukee was playing hide-the-assets in an attempt to avoid paying compensation to victims of sex abuse. And now, not only has a federal judge declined to say, “No, Archbishop, that’s arch-villainous,” the judge actually went several steps further and granted the Archdiocese ridiculously broad immunity from federal bankruptcy law, basically saying that large chunks of religious institutions’ finances are exempt from scrutiny under the First Amendment. Please summarize for us, ThinkProgress: While the ostensible issue in this case is whether over $50 million in church funds are shielded from a bankruptcy proceeding triggered largely by a flood of clerical sex abuse claims against the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, Judge Rudolph Randa reads the church’s constitutional and legal right to religious liberty so broadly as to render religious institutions immune from much of the law. That’s some catch. Read more on Federal Judge Says Catholic Church Can Hide Assets From Abuse Victims, For Freedom…
  they'll fix you. they fix everything

Motor City Has Car, Jackson Five Records Repossessed

After decades of declining population, factory closures, middle-class flight to the suburbs, and a shrinking tax base, Detroit filed for bankruptcy Thursday, leading to uncertainty about how the city will continue to provide essential services and meet its commitments to retirees — nah, just kidding, it doesn’t have to do any of that. Somehow, the largest municipal bankruptcy in American history was absolutely necessary even as the stock market is hitting record highs, corporate profits are also booming, and the auto industry is coming back from the financial crash. Even the GM bailout has turned out pretty well, and is set to return $1 billion to the Treasury from the sale of the government’s GM stock. So obviously, the Detroit bankruptcy is the fault of greedy unions. Read more on Motor City Has Car, Jackson Five Records Repossessed…
  banksters

Amercia, Where You Are Free to Take On Crushing Lifelong Debt

Wonketteers are all latte-drinking Prius-driving libruls, so they are all probably avid New York Times readers who are very familiar with the Times’ ongoing series on income inequality, “The Great Divide.” But just in case! Today’s installment is a cheery essay by Joseph Stiglitz, titled “Student Debt and the Crushing of the American Dream.” Doesn’t that sound like a fun read? According to Stiglitz, Amercia is being ruined forever by student loan debt, because Poors have the audacity to think they can improve their socio-economic statuses by taking on crushing debt and getting an education. This, of course, is a myth: a law passed in 2005 made it basically impossible to discharge student loan debt, and so it stays with you always like herpes, or a bad tattoo, except worse because you still have a chance at happiness of you have herpes or a bad tattoo. Also, going to college and taking on a bunch of crushing debt may not necessarily get you a good job, since almost half of all college graduates have jobs that do not require a college degree, but they still have to make payments on these debts with their meager salaries, so they can’t afford to go out to eat or go on frivolous shopping excursions, so our economy suffers, so there are no jobs for college grads, and round and round we go! Here, let Joseph Stiglitz explain all this at you in fancier language and using more “facts.” Read more on Amercia, Where You Are Free to Take On Crushing Lifelong Debt…
  We must destroy this country in order to save it

America Celebrates Decade Of Wedded Bliss To Iraq By Going Broke, Linking Petraeus To Torture

This month marks the ten-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and Operation YARRRGHHHH FREEDOM LIBERATORS DERPDERPDERP. Do you remember where you were when you first heard our brave troops had crossed the border in their insufficiently armored vehicles? We were in a cubicle in Burbank, CA, reading CNN and facepalming, but as much as we hate to remember that cubicle and the job that went with it, we recognize there were much, much more dangerous places for a young man in his late twenties to be at that moment. But it is okay, because as we know everything worked out for the best for our troops and the Iraqis and their country and Amurca fuck yeah! Right? Read more on America Celebrates Decade Of Wedded Bliss To Iraq By Going Broke, Linking Petraeus To Torture…
  literally

Mitt Romney Is Literally The Worst Choice Ever For Detroit’s Emergency Manager

The city of Detroit, which has been basically issuing bonds to pay for daily expenses since 2005, is in such bad fiscal shape that even people who bought exurban McMansions in 2005 with reverse-money-down ARMs think the city is in a financial mess. That’s why America’s favorite pro-“right-to-work” nerd-governor, Rick Snyder, is going to appoint an emergency manager to gut pensions restructure the city’s finances. Emergency management is a pretty severe budget-cutting process but Detroit is in such bad shape that even the guy who runs something called michiganliberal.com is like: Yeah, Detroit kind of needs this pain. Which is true because Detroit has been on the brink of running out of cash for the better part of a year, but it’s also one of those things where what did people expect? When a region of 4.4 million people literally concentrates its poverty and abandonment in a city of 700,000 (with an ever-shrinking middle-class population, fed up with a municipality with both high taxes and poor public services) things can only end badly. But why wallow in these big issues of “good governance” and “regionalism” when we can speculate who Snyder will select as Detroit’s very own Chris Traeger? Even national pundits like Charles Lane and David Weigel are getting into it. On “Fox News Sunday,” Washington Post opinion writer Charles Lane suggested the former GOP presidential nominee and turnaround expert at private equity firm Bain Capital should get the job of turning Detroit around. “You do see that Mitt Romney is a person with a lot of ability and a lot of energy. Who still has got a lot to contribute, and, you know, his hometown of Detroit, right now, has just been put into state receivership or it’s about to be,” Lane said. “I wonder if there is no role for him in the restructuring of Detroit. He’d be the perfect person to do it. He has got the expertise, he’s a hometown guy, and he is a kind of a political free agent at this point. That is the kind of thing that he could, I think, contribute in the future.” Last week, Dave Weigel writing in a piece for the online magazine Slate titled “Give Detroit to Mitt Romney,” first suggested the move. This is a terrible idea and not just because Mittens is an insufferably entitled twit with no experience with municipal finance. Read more on Mitt Romney Is Literally The Worst Choice Ever For Detroit’s Emergency Manager…
  probably less crazy than Tea Party dudes

Yes, Virginia, There Is A (Sad Befuddled Old Man Running For Congress Who Thinks He Is) Santa Claus

Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span’s rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like “an elderly,” and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative old man who is running for Congress (as a Republican) in Michigan, and who may kind of think he is Santy Claus. Now, why Daily Caller is going after a Republican is beyond us (sloooow news day?), but they not only point out old St. Nick’s possible need for therapy, but also his bankruptcy and how some lady follows him around calling him a crook. MEAN LADY, LEAVE SANTA ALOOOOONE. Read more on Yes, Virginia, There Is A (Sad Befuddled Old Man Running For Congress Who Thinks He Is) Santa Claus…
  rich old men

Wall Street Journal: Why Is Obama Siding With College Students Against These Poor Banks?

Yesterday, we learned a lot of fun facts about the one trillion dollar student loan bubble! Like the fact that student loans (unlike any other unsecured line of credit) cannot be discharged in bankruptcy, so the debt will never, ever go away,  not even if you die, and that banks will even garnish your social security checks to get their money. (Although the joke’s on THEM since we won’t even HAVE Social Security soon so ha!)  Even though the student loan bubble is actually slowing down the housing market and the rest of the economy along with it, the Wall Street Journal thinks that best course of action is to do absolutely nothing. See, that would be socialism! You wouldn’t want there to be socialism, would you? Of course not.  Also, these kids should be out creating JOBS, not trying to seek relief from the oppressive terms and conditions of their student loan obligations! If only “Uncle Sugar” wouldn’t be so focused on redistributing wealth, yadda yadda not hurting small businesses blah blah.  Actually we can’t figure that part out but the argument seems to be that helping debt burdened borrowers will hurt small businesses or something. We think? Read more on Wall Street Journal: Why Is Obama Siding With College Students Against These Poor Banks?…
  whore diamonds aren't forever

Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds

We have had a lot of fun over the years pointing and laughing at Ol’ Yeller, Newt Gingrich. One of the things we have liked best is laughing about how very bad he is with money, because of how he is a common hustler who rips off everyone within a 26,000-mile radius. But today, Reuters points us to a tragic tale: not only is Newtypie’s campaign 80 trillion dollars in debt or whatever, but his personal fortune — his “empire” pulled in $110 million over the past decade — welp, that’s gone too and everyone is as bankrupt as Donald Trump. OH NOEZ! The Gingrich Group bankruptcy proceedings spotlight the remarkable reversal of fortune of the half-dozen organizations associated with Gingrich. The presidential contender recently ended his campaign $4.8 million in debt. A political nonprofit he headed, American Solutions for Winning the Future, which raised $52 million between its founding in 2007 and its dissolution last July, also ended in debt. That would buy so very many whore diamonds. Have these people no priorities? Let us read some more eye-goggling numbers please, Reuters, perhaps with a bonus aside about what a liar the entire right wing is about their stupid keening over NAZI SOSHULIST MANDATES! Read more on Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds…
  more powerful than harry potter

Magic Wizard Newt Gingrich Causes Everything He Touches To Go Bankrupt

Constipated space hippopotamus Newt Gingrich has perfected the alchemical formula for converting moral bankruptcy into actual bankruptcy, because of his five hundred PhDs: The health care think tank that Newt founded, the Center for Health Transformation, filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy Wednesday. This is similar to how Newt’s campaign is $1.5 million in debt, and also that other think tank that he ruined. Newt, the old smarty, has also crafted a formula to be able to blame not himself for the firm’s collapse: He made someone else take over the leadership responsibilities when he ran off to campaign for president of talking about leadership responsibilities, though the Associated Press notes that “financial disclosures show he’s still owed millions for his share of the business.” Newt Gingrich is better than the Queen of England at getting paid for doing nothing. Read more on Magic Wizard Newt Gingrich Causes Everything He Touches To Go Bankrupt…
  wonkette business report

Dunkin’ Donuts Stock Goes Nuts As WalMart Sad Lady Sex Cream Fails

We’ve been keeping an eye on the Economic Newz, because sometimes you can “tell things” from the business reports that the political scumsacks won’t admit until it’s already common knowledge (“Unemployment continues to be a challenge,” etc.), and so far it looks like investors are all “Meh” on the debt ceiling/American Default stuff because the World Economy and all of America’s Rich People have already “decoupled” from the festering diabetes sore that is the U.S. Economy. But, there are other Telling Things on the Bloomberg Terminal. For example: Despite the crashing, crushing national economy, lard merchant Dunkin’ Donuts is having a hot Initial Public Offering of its stoxx today! People still got some couch change for the cream-syrup-filled grease goblins … until next week, anyways. Also: Although 43% of WalMart’s sad ladies are sexually not getting sexted by their “old man” or whatever, probably because he is an incredibly gross, racist, violent alcoholic who poops in his knockoff Laz-E-Boy while watching old DVDs of Lou Dobbs, a company that marketed some kind of horny-makin’ cream for WalMart actually went bankrupt, because in most instances, sex is pretty gross — especially when you feel obligated to have it with that repugnant odor troll who lives in your trailer and won’t hurry up and die already. Read more on Dunkin’ Donuts Stock Goes Nuts As WalMart Sad Lady Sex Cream Fails…
  cutting to the chase

AIR AMERICA, DEAD: “It is with the greatest regret, on behalf of our Board, that we must announce that Air America Media is ceasing its live programming operations as of this afternoon, and that the Company will file soon under Chapter 7 of the Bankruptcy Code to carry out an orderly winding-down of the business.” What a day for the Progressive Movement! Health care reform’s ~15 minutes from getting its plug pulled forever, the Supreme Court decided that corporations should be able to purchase politicians in the open market, and now… some radio station is dead. Should make for sunny open threads on Daily Kos. [Air America] Read more on …