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Tag: banking

I say, if you'd just develop a work ethic young man, you could be rich. What ho, have a tuppence and don't spend it all at once.

Cartoon JPMorgan Plutocrat Says Let Them Eat iPhones

Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase (not a typo, actually), would like everyone to stop bitching about "income inequality," which is not a thing at all. The financier feels just as equal as anyone on his corporate jet,...
Please drop your condescension toward the Senator from Massachusetts. You have 20 seconds to comply.

Elizabeth Warren Pretty Sure She Knows A Thing Or Two About How Banks Work, Thank You

There's this guy, Jamie Dimon, who's the CEO of JPMorgan Chase. He thinks it's sad that banks aren't allowed to break the law. And Wednesday, he said a real Stupid Thing. He said, to a whole greedful room of...
Jamie Dimon, protector and defender of our financial system

Jamie Dimon Crying Platinum Tears That Banks Have To Pay Money For Breaking Laws

Between 2013 and 2014, JPMorgan Chase, a shadowy banking cabal, paid some $14 billion with a b in legal costs stemming from various criminal enterprises the company willfully engaged in to make money. So of course the bank's CEO,...

Summers Vs. Warren Banking Committee Cage Match Canceled As Larry Summers Craps Out

Unloved money brute Lawrence "Larry" Summers will not be your new Ben Bernanke after withdrawing his name from consideration for Federal Reserve Chairman on Sunday. Mainly this is because humans are hard-wired to distrust men named Larry, but there...

Watch Liz Warren School Some CNBC Doofuses With Facts ‘N’ History

So here is a clip of Yr Wonkette's Imaginary BFF Elizabeth Warren making the hosts of CNBC's Squawk Box look like the pikers that they are. It's like watching a clip from The West Wing, only better, because this...

Bummed About Your 15 Percent Tax Rate, Job Creators? Have You Considered Paying ‘Zero’ Instead?

It is with a heavy heart that we inform you that we have not significantly appeased our lords and masters the job creators and so they have taken to laundering their money, investing their money speech in offshore tax...

Goldman Offers Banking For The One Percent And There Will Be Neither Credit Cards Nor Toasters

The problem with retail banking, see, is that even Poors can sometimes scrape enough money together to get a bank account or a loan, and then they’re all blah blah blah, you are foreclosing on my house by mistake,...

Evil Bank of America Crippled By People Closing Their Accounts

For six days straight, Bank of America's websites have been hammered. Across this struggling nation, people couldn't get online to pay their bills or attempt to balance their shrinking balances. BofA offered no explanation for this, for six long...