Tag: bank of america

we all did a business

Which Bank Is Just Going To Pay A Big Ol’ Meaningless Fine This Week?

It's your week in corporate malfeasance. Get out your pitchforks!

Republicans Agree Big Banks Are Growned Up Enough To Take Care Of Themselves

Here is a fun thing we learned at Tuesday's Republican debate! Do you know how all the too-big-to-fail banks got so big they damn near killed the entire global economy? The real reason will amaze you! Turns out the real reason is because Big...
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...
Oh, she knows all right. That's why you're worried.

Elizabeth Warren To Wall Street: Drop Dead

The too-big-to-fail banks think they're going to teach Professor Elizabeth Warren and the rest of her progressive rebel scum a lesson about saying mean things about them. As we just learned, the heads of the five families dick-swingers from...
BRING IT, SUCKER

Wall Street Banks Beg Elizabeth Warren To Stop Bullying Them, Or Else

Almost everyone loves watching Sen. Elizabeth Warren yell at the big banks on Wall Street, right? Right! But not everyone. You know who doesn't love it? The big banks on Wall Street: Big Wall Street banks are so upset with...

Senate Welcomes Cory Booker With Traditional Obstructionism

Cory Booker, welcome to the Senate. On a day better known for scary costumes, you are one good-looking piece of eye-candy that we are very excited to see more of! And you were sworn in by the only man...

Justice Department Threatens to Rap Banks on Wrist, Again

Another day, another instance of bank wrongdoing, this is the world we live in! Or rather, this is the world we WOULD live in if banks were capable of engaging in wrongdoing, which of course they are not, duh....

Morning Nice-Time: San Diego Chalk Vandal To Go Free, Just Like Bank Execs!

Who says there's no justice? You might recall the case of Jeff Olson, yes? He's the San Diego guy who wrote unkind things about Bank Of America, in chalk, on a sidewalk in front of Bank of America, and...

Bank of America Whistleblowers Reveal Shocking Bank Wrongdoings, Surprise Surprise

Did you spend the past couple days so suspicious of the NSA that you had forgotten to set aside just a little bit of your suspicion for the banks? Don't worry, we can fix that pretty quickly! Turns out...

Banks ‘Pleased’ To Be Paying Pittance To Poors Whose Homes They Stole

Remember that elderly disabled veteran that Wells Fargo wrongfully foreclosed on and then billed to death over a typo? Well too bad he dropped dead in court, because he otherwise would have (maybe) been entitled to a cool $300...

Former CEO of Merrill Lynch Has Some Very Pressing Questions About His Executive Pay

It’s 2008, and some of the Brightest Minds in the nation have gathered at our nation’s capital order to prevent global economic collapse. The bankers arrive, and they immediately begin asking what they can do to help the country’s...

Banks Bleeding From Defections As Credit Unions Gain Members

Some 650,000 people joined credit unions last month, more than all of last year combined. On "Bank Transfer Day" alone, there were 40,000 new accounts opened at credit unions. And even before #OccupyWallStreet and the Bank of America fee...

Saturday Is Bank Transfer Day, So What Will You (We) Do?

It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of "Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday." First...

Jackass Bank of America CEO Angry At You For Hating His Evil Bank

If you don't hate Bank of America, you just haven't ever dealt with Bank of America. Or perhaps you have never heard of banks at all? (Lucky you!) In any case, gazillionaire asshole Bryan Moynihan wants you to know...

Naughty Wingnuts Put Bad Word On Dick Durbin’s Wikipedia Page

RUH-ROH. Can you spot it?! The wicked little Internet trolls are fiddling around on their favorite source of Official History, Wikipedia, to try to embarrass Senator Dick Durbin. We have to admit -- it's a little bit mysterious why...

Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)

Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it's laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct "cyber war" against business journalists reporting on Bank of America's constant crimes. What...