bank of america
Banks ‘Pleased’ To Be Paying Pittance To Poors Whose Homes They Stole
Remember that elderly disabled veteran that Wells Fargo wrongfully foreclosed on and then billed to death over a typo? Well too bad he dropped dead in court, because he otherwise would have (maybe) been entitled to a cool $300 – $1000 to compensate him for his time and inconvenience. No, really: this is what his [...]
Former CEO of Merrill Lynch Has Some Very Pressing Questions About His Executive Pay
It’s 2008, and some of the Brightest Minds in the nation have gathered at our nation’s capital order to prevent global economic collapse. The bankers arrive, and they immediately begin asking what they can do to help the country’s homeowners, many of whom will soon find themselves facing foreclosure. Ha! Ha! Ha! No, stupid, they [...]
Banks Bleeding From Defections As Credit Unions Gain Members
Some 650,000 people joined credit unions last month, more than all of last year combined. On “Bank Transfer Day” alone, there were 40,000 new accounts opened at credit unions. And even before #OccupyWallStreet and the Bank of America fee outrage, a summer survey found that the biggest 10 banks stood to lose about 10% of [...]
Saturday Is Bank Transfer Day, So What Will You (We) Do?
It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of “Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday.” First of all, not true at all! Bank headquarters are closed on Saturday, but most bank branches [...]
Jackass Bank of America CEO Angry At You For Hating His Evil Bank
If you don’t hate Bank of America, you just haven’t ever dealt with Bank of America. Or perhaps you have never heard of banks at all? (Lucky you!) In any case, gazillionaire asshole Bryan Moynihan wants you to know that he also hates you for not loving his awesome bank: CEO Bryan Moynihan says the [...]
Naughty Wingnuts Put Bad Word On Dick Durbin’s Wikipedia Page
RUH-ROH. Can you spot it?! The wicked little Internet trolls are fiddling around on their favorite source of Official History, Wikipedia, to try to embarrass Senator Dick Durbin. We have to admit — it’s a little bit mysterious why anyone would want to pick on this rather harmless lefty Illinois Senator who usually ambles around [...]
Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)
Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this [...]
Keith Olbermann To Join Al Gore’s Adult Entertainment Channel?
Keith Olbermann is expected to announce his new teevee home base sometime today, and many teevee experts believe he will join Current TV, the “public affairs channel” that Al Gore invented to help spread liberal Sharia. And now that Keith isn’t oppressed by the MSNBC Corporate Yoke, he can finally tell the news the way [...]
China Holds Up Climate Change Negotiations; Earth Literally Burns
Afghan President Hamid Karzai is furious on the outside, feelings-hurt on the inside that the US and the UN considered just cold replacing him with someone else during the fraudulent election of his own design a few months back. [New York Times] Citigroup will not foreclose or evict anything or anything for the next 30 [...]
Mark Foley Misses The Good Life, And Levi Johnston Fears Sarah’s Evil Cackle
Hoochiemama! Teenage cumsicle LEVI JOHNSTON shan’t be accepting the generous Turkey Day invitation from SARAH PALIN, who selflessly offered her home to Levi on national teevee! “You could tell by her laugh she was full of it,” explained Levi. And by “it,” Levi meant “a deep-seated desire to punch me, Levi Johnston, in the dick.” [...]
Ken Lewis Thrown Halfway Under Bus
For many months now, people have been asking why Ken Lewis still had his job as chairman and CEO of Bank of America, and for many months the answer has been “Because,” but now we have a new answer: as of last night he is only the CEO, and who knows how much longer he’ll [...]
ABOUT FRIGGING TIME: The delightfully named Finger Interests Number One Ltd. is trying to persuade other Bank of America shareholders to get rid of Ken Lewis and two other people on the bank’s board of directors. Imagine that! Imagine throwing out the terrible bums who just dropped their trousers and peed all over their shareholders [...]
DO NOT MESS WITH BANK OF AMERICA: Hmmm, curious! Just yesterday Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was cold hangin’ with all the peoples who got fired from the window shoppe and threatening B of A with terrible consequences for cutting off that window shoppe’s line of credit. And TODAY, MYSTERIOUSLY, the Feds show up on the [...]
Poor Wall Street I-Bankers With Jobs Whining About Terrible Crap
It’s not really a factor, but then again OK, it is a HUGE factor, to keep in mind the type of horrific douchecocks that this bailout would keep in business most immediately. Your associate editor recently graduated with an English degree from a college known mostly for its business school and watched many of his… [...]
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