bank of america

Cory Booker, welcome to the Senate. On a day better known for scary costumes, you are one good-looking piece of eye-candy that we are very excited to see more of! And you were sworn in by the only man in the Senate we would like to bone more harder, Old Handsome Joe Biden, playing his […]

Another day, another instance of bank wrongdoing, this is the world we live in! Or rather, this is the world we WOULD live in if banks were capable of engaging in wrongdoing, which of course they are not, duh. Anyway, what have the banks been accused of doing this time? Oh nothing, just engaging in […]

Who says there’s no justice? You might recall the case of Jeff Olson, yes? He’s the San Diego guy who wrote unkind things about Bank Of America, in chalk, on a sidewalk in front of Bank of America, and then, after an executive from Bank of America pressured a city attorney who took campaign contributions […]

Did you spend the past couple days so suspicious of the NSA that you had forgotten to set aside just a little bit of your suspicion for the banks? Don’t worry, we can fix that pretty quickly! Turns out Bank of America may have been foreclosing on homeowners who qualified for in-house loan modifications and […]

Remember that elderly disabled veteran that Wells Fargo wrongfully foreclosed on and then billed to death over a typo? Well too bad he dropped dead in court, because he otherwise would have (maybe) been entitled to a cool $300 – $1000 to compensate him for his time and inconvenience. No, really: this is what his […]

It’s 2008, and some of the Brightest Minds in the nation have gathered at our nation’s capital order to prevent global economic collapse. The bankers arrive, and they immediately begin asking what they can do to help the country’s homeowners, many of whom will soon find themselves facing foreclosure. Ha! Ha! Ha! No, stupid, they […]

Some 650,000 people joined credit unions last month, more than all of last year combined. On “Bank Transfer Day” alone, there were 40,000 new accounts opened at credit unions. And even before #OccupyWallStreet and the Bank of America fee outrage, a summer survey found that the biggest 10 banks stood to lose about 10% of […]

It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of “Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday.” First of all, not true at all! Bank headquarters are closed on Saturday, but most bank branches […]

If you don’t hate Bank of America, you just haven’t ever dealt with Bank of America. Or perhaps you have never heard of banks at all? (Lucky you!) In any case, gazillionaire asshole Bryan Moynihan wants you to know that he also hates you for not loving his awesome bank: CEO Bryan Moynihan says the […]

RUH-ROH. Can you spot it?! The wicked little Internet trolls are fiddling around on their favorite source of Official History, Wikipedia, to try to embarrass Senator Dick Durbin. We have to admit — it’s a little bit mysterious why anyone would want to pick on this rather harmless lefty Illinois Senator who usually ambles around […]

Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this […]

Keith Olbermann is expected to announce his new teevee home base sometime today, and many teevee experts believe he will join Current TV, the “public affairs channel” that Al Gore invented to help spread liberal Sharia. And now that Keith isn’t oppressed by the MSNBC Corporate Yoke, he can finally tell the news the way […]

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is furious on the outside, feelings-hurt on the inside that the US and the UN considered just cold replacing him with someone else during the fraudulent election of his own design a few months back. [New York Times] Citigroup will not foreclose or evict anything or anything for the next 30 […]

Hoochiemama! Teenage cumsicle LEVI JOHNSTON shan’t be accepting the generous Turkey Day invitation from SARAH PALIN, who selflessly offered her home to Levi on national teevee! “You could tell by her laugh she was full of it,” explained Levi. And by “it,” Levi meant “a deep-seated desire to punch me, Levi Johnston, in the dick.” […]

For many months now, people have been asking why Ken Lewis still had his job as chairman and CEO of Bank of America, and for many months the answer has been “Because,” but now we have a new answer: as of last night he is only the CEO, and who knows how much longer he’ll […]