For many months now, people have been asking why Ken Lewis still had his job as chairman and CEO of Bank of America, and for many months the answer has been “Because,” but now we have a new answer: as of last night he is only the CEO, and who knows how much longer he’ll have that gig. MORE »

ABOUT FRIGGING TIME: The delightfully named Finger Interests Number One Ltd. is trying to persuade other Bank of America shareholders to get rid of Ken Lewis and two other people on the bank’s board of directors. Imagine that! Imagine throwing out the terrible bums who just dropped their trousers and peed all over their shareholders while doing whatever they wanted (making billions of dollars in exchange for running their companies into the ground). It’s certainly more than the government is capable of. Yay Finger Interests. [New York Times]

• DO NOT MESS WITH BANK OF AMERICA: Hmmm, curious! Just yesterday Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was cold hangin’ with all the peoples who got fired from the window shoppe and threatening B of A with terrible consequences for cutting off that window shoppe’s line of credit. And TODAY, MYSTERIOUSLY, the Feds show up on the governor’s doorstep and take him into custody on suspicion of being a corrupt bastard. Never before in the history of Illinois has an elected representative of the people been suspected of pay-to-play politics, so you can see how this would concern everyone. (The take-home message is, Bank of America will throw you in jail.) [Chicago Tribune]

• Your city is suing the Bank of America, as the bank’s employees have been scamming D.C. with fake property tax checks since the 90s, when people still had property. [Washington Post]
• Terrible meta-pseudoterrorism strikes the Atlantic Monthly, as a Documenterrorian sent the magazine some PR materials for a film about anthrax, which included a bag of sugar labeled “anthrax.” [Fishbowl DC]
• The free shuttles that you enjoyed to your Nationals games are maybe being threatened! [WTOP]
• The debate about Maryland slots (slots) rages on, as teachers are in need of gambling revenues but don’t want everyone to become addicted and gamble away their life savings, which for an Average American Family includes three cans of soup and a Sarah Palin Halloween costume. [DC Examiner]
• That prostitute boss lady, the “D.C. Madam,” who died last year, has conclusively died of suicide. [DCist]

It’s not really a factor, but then again OK, it is a HUGE factor, to keep in mind the type of horrific douchecocks that this bailout would keep in business most immediately. Your associate editor recently graduated with an English degree from a college known mostly for its business school and watched many of his… “colleagues” blindly take “safe” & high-paying & evil jobs at Lehman, Merrill Lynch, etc., and has been SO AMAZINGLY HAPPY to watch so many of them lose these same jobs recently. It’s absolutely the best part of this crisis. Because check out what this still-employed Merrill Lynch-cum-Bank of America person has to say: “I was in denial. You see, Merrill has a much better repuation than a commercial bank like Bank of America. I was shocked I would be joining a lower-tier commercial bank. There’s a feeling, ‘I didn’t go through this whole interview process to work at a commercial bank.’” This is the standard. So how about we only bail out these companies if they agree to fire all of their remaining shitsack employees, hmm? [IvyGate]