Tag Archives: bamz

  today we are all sportsball fans

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special NFL Crams Michael Sam Down America’s Throats Edition

You better believe that the St. Louis Rams drafting Michael Sam, the first openly gay football-flavored sportsball player, in the seventh round of the NFL draft, is one of the lead stories in today’s New York Times. The Times does its usual dispassionate bit of reporting about it, but if you’d like to tear up a bit about the whole thing, go watch the video (ESPN had cameras at Sam’s house) of Sam tearing up and hugging and kissing his boyfriend. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special NFL Crams Michael Sam Down America’s Throats Edition…
  and by slightly we mean slightly

A Slightly More Sober Discussion Of President Obama’s State Of The Union Awesomeness

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the State of the Union! While we were busy snarkily drunkblogging the speech and the 43 GOP responses, we may have neglected to discuss with you, Glorious Reader, why President Obama’s speech was such a tour-de-force, so grab your favorite politilube, and be prepared to fap away to some motherfucking awesomeness.  Read more on A Slightly More Sober Discussion Of President Obama’s State Of The Union Awesomeness…
  spoiler alert

Obama Will Tyrannize America Tonight By Raising The Federal Contract Minimum Wage

You already know that we are hoping HARD for some State of the Union drama tonight, but we were figuring that it would come from Michelle throat-ramming America with gay sportsthugs. That’s a fine start, but we are your fucking base, Obama. Give us some red meat we can tear apart and devour and come up with a bloodstained toothy grin as right-wingers threaten to storm the barricades because socialism’s a-comin’ just like they always toldja. We should not have counted Obama out, because it looks like he is going to pound his executive order fascist hammer all over America’s face tonight by forcing America’s job creators to pay lazy takers with federal job contracts a higher minimum wage. President Barack Obama will announce during Tuesday night’s State of the Union address that he’s raising the minimum wage for workers under federal contracts to $10.10 per hour, an administration official told The Huffington Post. The new policy, to be instituted via executive order, may affect hundreds of thousands of workers whose jobs are supported by federal dollars. The move is designed in part to ratchet up pressure on Congress to pass legislation raising the minimum wage for all workers. The current federal minimum wage stands at $7.25 per hour, and hasn’t been raised since 2009, after the last of a series of increases signed into law by then-President George W. Bush. BOOM. Read more on Obama Will Tyrannize America Tonight By Raising The Federal Contract Minimum Wage…
  tis the season

Christian Patriot Guy Graciously Offers To Kill President, Ensures Himself Holiday Visit From Secret Service

Hey, Wonkedorians, what are you up to this Thanksgiving, or Hanukkah, or Thanksgivukkah? Were you hoping that the Secret Service would bust down your door during the turkey carving, or would you prefer they wait until later in the day when you’re drunk on the couch watching football? Then consider declaring that you have the authority to shoot Obama because of argle bargle constitution blatherskite. It’s sure to guarantee you extra visitors on your special day. “We now have authority to shoot Obama, i.e., to kill him,” [Everest Wilhelmen, leader of the Christian American Patriots Militia] posted on his Facebook page. “His willful violations and alienation of our Constitution, constant disregard for our peaceful protests and corruption of all the three branches of government, (i.e., rogue and illegitimate government), reveal the dictator that he is. Obama and his co-conspirators disrespect our Constitution (constitutional rule of law) and abuse the American people.” Read more on Christian Patriot Guy Graciously Offers To Kill President, Ensures Himself Holiday Visit From Secret Service…
  breaking must credit happy

Bamz Is Going To Be All Up In Your Teevee Selling You Obamacare And We Have A Sneak Peek At The Scripts

Some democrahippies out in California have given the government some sweet-ass coin to insert propaganda about Obamacare into your favorite teevee shows: The grant, which was given to the USC Norman Lear Center to administer, was created to educate and encourage citizens to enroll in Obamacare, primarily in major demographics such as Hispanics, as well as the young and healthy. According to The Blaze, “The 18-month grant, to the Lear Center’s Hollywood Health & Society program, will be used for briefings with staff from television shows and to track health overhaul-related depictions on prime-time and Spanish-language television.” […] Read more on Bamz Is Going To Be All Up In Your Teevee Selling You Obamacare And We Have A Sneak Peek At The Scripts…
  ready willing and able to be stupid

Ted Nugent And His Buddies Would Like To Re-Enact The Revolutionary War For You

Oh man, nice time was fun while it lasted, but all good things must come to an end. In this case, every nice thing in the world comes to a screeching halt because Ted Fucking Nugent would like to share some of his feelings about guns and American History with you: Read more on Ted Nugent And His Buddies Would Like To Re-Enact The Revolutionary War For You…