Jenna Finds New Drinking Palace, In Baltimore!
Friday, June 27th, 2008
Newlywed first daughter “Jenna Bush Hager” of course has been dragged to Baltimore to live with her elitist husband, Henry. What kind of fun does Baltimore offer for the upper crust of society? A bar, a bar, a bar, thank god, a bar: “South Baltimore newbie Jenna Bush seems to have settled on a watering hole she likes: Regi’s American Bistro in Federal Hill. I hear she’s been in several times, including Wednesday, when she was spotted with six girlfriends. All looked very ‘Texas,’ says my spy. ‘Hair all polished up and little fancy outfits.’ A guy who answered the phone at the pub confirmed that Dubya’s daughter had been in before. Pressed for details, he would only say this much: ‘She was there. I just saw her.’” The food looks really good at Jenna’s bar! Too bad she’ll never try any of it. [Baltimore Sun via Inside Charm City]
Newlywed first daughter “Jenna Bush Hager” of course has been dragged to Baltimore to live with her elitist husband, Henry. What kind of fun does Baltimore offer for the upper crust of society? A bar, a bar, a bar, thank god, a bar: “South Baltimore newbie Jenna Bush seems to have settled on a watering hole she likes: Regi’s American Bistro in Federal Hill. I hear she’s been in several times, including Wednesday, when she was spotted with six girlfriends. All looked very ‘Texas,’ says my spy. ‘Hair all polished up and little fancy outfits.’ A guy who answered the phone at the pub confirmed that Dubya’s daughter had been in before. Pressed for details, he would only say this much: ‘She was there. I just saw her.’” The food looks really good at Jenna’s bar! Too bad she’ll never try any of it. [Baltimore Sun via Inside Charm City]
COUNTDOWN TO NUPTIAL BLISS:“Could the last picture in Jenna’s unofficial wedding album be a study in normal American life? Maybe not. Her husband’s Baltimore job will be with an electric utility company that dumped 8bn pounds of polluted fly ash into the ground, contaminating drinking water for hundreds of nearby families.” [
If you live in a row house connected to the row house of chain-smoking Baltimore Examiner editor Frank Keegan and so much cigarette smoke is seeping into your house that your kids are choking on the fumes, it’s probably not a good idea to pound on Keegan’s door yelling about the problem as the paramedics treat your daughter, because Keegan will (allegedly) pull a shotgun on your entire family. 
Regardless of your position on the current Middle East crisis, there’s one thing we can all agree on: video game violence is just the skill-building motivator our children need to get out there and make something of themselves. Take Daniel Taylor of Baltimore, who, despite never having been there and not speaking Hebrew, is heeding the call of his people and joining the IDF. Daniel comes well-trained, having studied marksmanship at the 4-H. Despite that seemingly marking him as a time-traveler from 1950, Daniel’s not lacking for modern know-how: 