Wonkette

Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be bombed from space as a Republican takes office yet again. So which state will we be able to blame when Sarah Palin is hastily sworn in as America’s 45th president after John McCain expires from gout and agues in the spring of 2009? MORE »

At a voting precinct in Chicago yesterday, a vote-scanning machine rejected 20 paper ballots that voters had used “magic” invisible ink pens to fill out. Now don’t go shouting DIEBOLD just yet — these ballots were rejected because there is no such thing as a magic invisible ink pen to be used on paper ballots. The pen was just a stylus for touch-screen voting machines, and everyone in that precinct is a retard. MORE »

Nobody can believe how many voters are actually trying to vote, despite today’s primary being possibly the most insanely hyped primary election in the entire human history of elections, going back to Ancient Greece or wherever. According to stunned sources, the same New Hampshire authorities who made this nice wheelchair-pizza logo apparently forgot to print up enough ballots for the, uh, voters. There is a siren on Drudge, people! [ABC News]