Tag Archives: ballots

  Ballot Recital

Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

It's almost as if he thought he wasn't breaking the law or something!
Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it’s rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: “Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots.” Or, from some of the more responsible rightwing sites who are pretending to hedge a little, “This Video Appears To Show A Guy Stuffing Hundreds Of Ballots Into A Ballot Box.” Read more on Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next….
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Good For You, Washington State, You’re 50% Smarter Now (Video)

It's really quite simple. Or should be.
Rachel Maddow is delighted — and so are we, because happy Rachel = Happy us — that in the recent Scottish independence referendum, small but substantial numbers of ballots had to be thrown out because they had both “Yes” and “No” marked on the simplest question ever put on a nationwide referendum: “Should Scotland be an independent country?” This was too much complexity for some folks, apparently. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Good For You, Washington State, You’re 50% Smarter Now (Video)…
  the pageant of democracy has no swimsuit competition

We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE

This morning, we asked for your completely unscientific, anecdotal reportage on how the 2013 vote has been going. It would seem that the wheels of Democracy are turning fairly well, with only a few squeaky glitches here and there! Hurrah for the integrity of the process and all that. AS FAR AS WE CAN TELL. That said, a few of you encountered some definite oddness, including one touch-screen “miscalibration” that sounds a lot like the experience of the guy trying to vote for Terry McAuliffe whose story we led off with this morning. “D.H.” writes, I touched Northam for lieutenant governor, but on my summary page the machine indicated I had chosen E.W. Jackson … at least twice I went back and changed it to Northam on the lieutenant governor options page with the “x” unmistakably replaced in front of Northam; and, for sure both times my summary showed I’d chosen Jackson. On my last try I was incredulous. Fortunately, D.H. was able to get help from a poll worker who explained “it might not work if you hit the choice box directly, but hitting it a little above the box might,” which is what did the trick for Col. Morris Davis, too. But! Did D.H. consider the possibility that God was using the “malfunction” for a higher purpose, to elect Ew Jackson? Anyway, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Read more on We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE…
  bite the ballot

Send Us Your Anecdotal Reports Of Isolated Voting-Day Irregularities, America!

We’re completely certain that this tweet from Col. Morris Davis is an isolated incident of a minor technological glitch. Has to be, right? Davis was sure it was only a glitch, but also thought it was a good reminder to voters that they should double-check before pressing “submit.” Wonder how a nice strict Voter ID law would keep this sort of thing from happening? Read more on Send Us Your Anecdotal Reports Of Isolated Voting-Day Irregularities, America!…
  just winging it who cares

Broward County Once Again Sucks At Life, Finds 963 Ballots In Some Warehouse

We almost went a day without a “stupid Florida” story. Almost. In case you have already forgotten and moved on, there was an election eight days ago, and going into it everybody was quite fixated on a small number of states, Florida being one of them. As it turned out, Florida didn’t matter because Obama got 7 billion out of the required 270 electoral votes. And as that turned out, it was very lucky, because Florida didn’t finish counting its votes until the weekend after, by which time Romney had already canceled his campaign staff’s credit cards and gone home to wallow in his swimming pool full of gold coins. And as that turned out, it was quite lucky as well, because Broward County just found almost a thousand uncounted ballots sitting in a damn warehouse. Serendipity! Read more on Broward County Once Again Sucks At Life, Finds 963 Ballots In Some Warehouse…
  john mccain will fix this

Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons

Your Wonkette is going to write a fun sentence and it is going to be true. Arizona’s Secretary of State has threatened not to put President of the United States of America Barack Obama on the ballot this fall because (a) he had a persuasive chit-chat with World Net Daily arch-grifter Jerome Corsi and (b) “he got more than 1,200 emails” demanding he look into the president’s birth certificate after Joe Arpaio’s “investigation” came out. This is the current power system in Arizona, folks. This is how things are done now. We’re tempted to declare the devolution complete and finally throw that big State of Nature parade in the blood-soaked hellscape streets of outer Phoenix, but maybe it’s too soon. They’ll do something dumber, eventually. They always do. Christ, Arizona. Stop hitting yourself. Read more on Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons…
  the party of no

Californians Vote Against Almost Everything

Oh well here is a shocker: Nobody in California had the time, inclination, or detailed budgetary expertise to make a good ruling on the many ballot measures up for approval yesterday, so instead they voted “no” on everything except a legislative salary freeze and then they went to In-n-Out Burger for a double double. Read more on Californians Vote Against Almost Everything…
  end this

Your Latest Imaginary Minnesota Senate Recount News: Al Franken, Uh, ‘Winning’

The Al Franken team announced today that under its special recount tracking methodology, Franken’s ahead by 22 votes over that cock Norm Coleman! The maths here seem rather terrible: “The Franken camp’s methodology involves taking down the opinions of the local election officials regarding the challenged ballots, and assuming that all the challenges will result in those local officials being upheld by the state canvassing board.” Nah, they just read Nate Silver’s projection and shaved off a few votes, to make it look authentic. [TPM Election Central] Read more on Your Latest Imaginary Minnesota Senate Recount News: Al Franken, Uh, ‘Winning’…
  they cheat with their dumbness

Al Franken Will Win Minnesota Senate Seat Because More Stupid Voters Like Him

Have you all been following this Franken-Coleman senatorial recount drudgery on the FiveThirtyEight? Good for you! Certain Wonkette editors have resisted wading into those treacherous waters, for they are abrim with regression analyses & dragonnes & awful flashbacks to Florida of 2000. But here is a funny non-maths-related theory about the soul-sucking recount process in Minnesota, and one novel Republican explanation for why the venerated radio host Al Franken will win! Read more on Al Franken Will Win Minnesota Senate Seat Because More Stupid Voters Like Him…
  electoral triumph of the lizard people

Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!

Oh here is a fun game! Check out these actual disputed voter ballots from Minnesota, and look at what laughable excuses the Coleman and Franken campaigns have for arguing “voter intent” in one direction or the other. Minnesota Public Radio, you have rendered a valuable time-wasting service unto the nation. [MPR via First Read] Read more on Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!…
 

Alaska Figures Out Why Every Election Outcome Was Horribly Confusing

Remember how convicted criminal-senator Ted Stevens of Alaska finagled his way into an election night lead despite every poll showing him down by 4,750%, due to those seven (7) crimes? Well the Alaska elections board has found a few hidden ballots that might change the score. But not many ballots, just THIRTY PERCENT OF THEM. You know, thirty percent, as in “one-third.” Countin’ starts tomorrow at high noon or some other time of the day. [ADN, Brad Blog] Read more on Alaska Figures Out Why Every Election Outcome Was Horribly Confusing…
  electoral high school

Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?

Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be bombed from space as a Republican takes office yet again. So which state will we be able to blame when Sarah Palin is hastily sworn in as America’s 45th president after John McCain expires from gout and agues in the spring of 2009? Read more on Which State Will Host This Election’s Worst Voting Debacle?…
 

‘Magical Inkless Pens’ Help Obama Carry Nothing In Chicago

At a voting precinct in Chicago yesterday, a vote-scanning machine rejected 20 paper ballots that voters had used “magic” invisible ink pens to fill out. Now don’t go shouting DIEBOLD just yet — these ballots were rejected because there is no such thing as a magic invisible ink pen to be used on paper ballots. The pen was just a stylus for touch-screen voting machines, and everyone in that precinct is a retard. Read more on ‘Magical Inkless Pens’ Help Obama Carry Nothing In Chicago…
 

New Hampshire Shocker: Too Many Voters, Not Enough Ballots!

Nobody can believe how many voters are actually trying to vote, despite today’s primary being possibly the most insanely hyped primary election in the entire human history of elections, going back to Ancient Greece or wherever. According to stunned sources, the same New Hampshire authorities who made this nice wheelchair-pizza logo apparently forgot to print up enough ballots for the, uh, voters. There is a siren on Drudge, people! [ABC News] Read more on New Hampshire Shocker: Too Many Voters, Not Enough Ballots!…