Tag: bain capital

Bernie, you're such a cuck now

Salon Publishes A Million More Words On Why Trump’s Balls Are Much More Delicious Than Hillary’s

Salon murdered our brains with one million words about disembeddedness and Trump steaks. We are dead now. We are a ghost.

Mitt Romney Is Literally The Worst Choice Ever For Detroit’s Emergency Manager

The city of Detroit, which has been basically issuing bonds to pay for daily expenses since 2005, is in such bad fiscal shape that even people who bought exurban McMansions in 2005 with reverse-money-down ARMs think the city is in a...

Matt Taibbi Explains Why You Should Hate Mitt Romney Even More Than You May Have Hated Him Yesterday

Hello, Matt Taibbi, how are you making us hate Mitt Romney even more today than we did, say, yesterday (which is saying a lot since we had to sit through his forty minute speech about himself yesterday and also...

Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Bain Super Scooper, Pt. II

Hello Wonketteers, by now you have probably realized that Gawker released 950 pages of Bain Capital records, and that this is either very important or a waste of everyone’s time, depending on whom you ask. WHICH IS IT? IS IT...

Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Scooper-Duper Bain Capital Documents, Pt. 1

It was so kind of person or persons unknown to give 950 pages of Bain Capital records to Gawker, exposing (among other things) Mitt Romney’s financial portfolio, and tax avoidance strategies employed by Bain. BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL...

Mitt Romney Talks Down At You For A Bit Today

Mitt Romney has taken to the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal to share with you a children's story about How Mitt Romney Saved Capitalism. This is in preparation for the upcoming sequel, Mitt Romney Saves Everything In...

Hot Blog Rumor: Maybe One of Those Huntsman Boys Gabbed To Harry Reid About Romney’s Taxes

The Internet is rapidly zeroing in on the identity of Harry Reid's source, the one who was like "oh yeah Harry, that guy, Romney, no taxes from that guy," which Harry Reid reiterated on the Senate floor, destroying...

Mitt Romney Just Delighted To Wave Around His Blood-Soaked Death Squad Dollars

So, you know this picture? Wonkette editor Kris E. Benson likes to run it a lot. You've seen it 50 times maybe. Or 500, who knows? (Personally, our Romney-pic go-to is romneyapplauds.jpg.) So it turns out this picture is...

Mitt Romney More Reaganesque Than Previously Realized

Reaganesque? Ol' Mittens? The Man With the Golden Tongue? Sure, he's got the hair, and the complete lack of devotion to anything resembling fact or verifiable truth, but really, Reaganesque? Yes, Mitt Romney is "Reaganesque," by which we mean...

Here Are Some Hot Young People Laughing At Mitt Romney, For You To Fap To

It has been a No Good Terrible Horrible Very Bad Week for Mittens Romney, His Lord High Hairgel. So he lied about some stuff (every "stuff"), so what who cares? No, way more important is the hotness of these...

By ‘Left Bain’ Mitt Romney Actually Meant ‘Continued To Run/Own 100% Of/Chair Bain For Years’

The Boston Globe has a fantastic story today about Mitt Romney, the local candidate. Romney has long claimed that he left Bain Capital in 1999, shortly before the firm unleashed a particularly sharp, blood-soaked assault on American jobs, to...

Romney Camp Outraged That Journalists Covering Him

Have you been paying attention to the controversy caused by the Washington Post’s article on Mitt Romney’s venture capitalism firm Bain Capital? Probably not because you, like so many other Americans, can’t stand reading about Mitt Romney due to...

Let’s All Get Gay Married On A Base On The Moon

Today, people are re-thinking same-sex marriage and moon bases, and selling off movie theaters. Wait, what? Is this the future? Where's my jetpack? Same-sex marriage opposition has dropped significantly since the President spoke in favor of it. Oh, so if...

Jennifer Rubin Opens Yap

Does Barack Obama understand capitalism? This is a legitimate question that Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post would like answered, given that Obama is a Socialist bully who uses intemperate language and who is NEVER EVER THERE for America’s...

Call Off Your Dogs, Twitter: Cory Booker Evolves On ‘Nauseating’ Attacks On Romney’s Record At Bain

You did it, Twitter! You got superhero Newark Mayor Cory Booker to retract and correct his Sunday Meet the Press statement that examining His Lord High Hairgel's record at Bain was "nauseating" and "vilifying private equity." Yay YOU! After...

Romney Firm Too Busy Firing People For Not Being Mormon To Create Those Jobs He Keeps Talking About

What kind of underwear do you have on? Are they magical? No? Outta here! Bain Capital, a job creating powerhouse established by America’s number one job creator Mitt Romney, is being sued by a group of people that claim...