bailouts
Wow. This is a very acerbic Sarah Palin dressed up in a classic batshit old hag “leopard print muu-muu, beehive and spectacles” ensemble as she practically snarls at the retirement home folk who were bussed in to nap through her speech at Disneyworld. (And oh look, she’s standing behind a sign that is exactly one [...]
Because he is a Maverick and changes his opinions, like a Maverick, whenever America needs John McCain to save it, John McCain is now against John McCain’s sterling leadership (I WILL SUSPEND MY CAMPAIGN etc. etc.) in the wake of September 2008′s Wall Street meltdown. (Also, he has a primary coming up against some teabagger [...]
ANOTHER IDEA THE SENATE CAN CONVERT INTO A 100% CAP GAINS TAX CUT! “WASHINGTON — President Obama is likely to propose a fee on financial institutions to help reduce the federal deficit when he releases his budget plans in February, although the details remain unresolved, according to administration officials.” The likely resolved details will be [...]
Oh my god David Brooks. He too is indignant about the suggestion that a bunch of these racist slob tea partiers are racists. He saw some of them talking to black people last weekend, during the 2.9 billion person (according to conservative blog estimates) tea party march! He was running — which he is wont [...]
PRESIDENT OBAMA WON’T BE BUYING CARS FOR YOU WELFARE QUEENS ANYMORE: The “Cash for Clunkers” program is going to expire any day now, so you will just have to pay for your new Honda Fit all by yourself, like a man. This disastrously popular program just goes to show you why the government should not [...]
Look everyone, a wacky sentence: “WASHINGTON — Federal bank regulators plan to release the much-anticipated results of their ‘stress tests’ on the nation’s 19 biggest banks next Thursday, several days later than they had originally expected, in part because some of the banks continue to disagree with the government’s initial conclusions.” You do remember these [...]
Oh hey here is a novel idea: in order to save our tragically beleaguered financial system, we must 1) replace the management at failing banks and 2) liquidate the banks that are completely hosed beyond repair. This makes sense to pretty much everyone, and our new boyfriend Simon Johnson said something like that a while [...]
Your friendly neighborhood Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation — the nice people who insure consumers’ bank deposits — has been having a sort of a rough time lately, what with all the banks constantly going broke. The insurance fund was pretty heavily depleted over the past year, thanks to horrific failures like IndyMac which cost the [...]
At some point during Barack Obama’s press conference last night — toward the end, after summarizing the major works of the European baroque period, but before reading the entire text of War and Peace in response to a question about baseball — he told reporters to hold onto their pants, because Tim Geithner’s first big [...]
The pornography, or “porn”, industry would also like $5 billion for a bailout of its own please. The entirety of government looks forward to the lobbying for this thing. [CNN Political Ticker] Boozy teevee starlet Terry McAuliffe has already begun to Robocall the people of Virginia in hopes that they will reward this behavior by [...]
Here’s the main image on the RNC’s website: a calendar of George W. Bush, his wife Laura, and their little pooches. They are for sale of course! But no one will ever buy them after today, since George W. Bush decided to take $17.4 billion worth of existing funds from Hank Paulson — who likely [...]
The GOP’s two most important and popular “fixers,” Vice President Richard “Mitt” Cheney and Bush chief of staff Josh Bolten, spent yesterday on Capitol Hill in a closed-door meeting with Republican Senators, trying to persuade them to vote for the Bush-Democrat Motorcar Bailout plan of $14 billion. (Somehow, $14 billion has become a lot of [...]
DRAMATIC IRONY, SPECIFICALLY: We saw this tease on the Washington Post website’s front page fifteen minutes ago and are mentally and physically unable to click through. The headline and subhead have transfixed us with this weird numbing sensation. “Symbolism” and “irony” and “Too big to succeed”! How do these fantastical terms and wordplays relate to [...]
