Tag Archives: bad ideas

  bang-bang she shot me down

Colorado Town Votes To Not Issue Drone-Hunting Licenses; Freedom May Survive Anyway

Last July, we told you about the fun idea proposed by the town of Deer Trail, Colorado, (population 546): sell novelty “drone hunting licenses” that would promise a bounty to anyone who brought down a federally-owned unmanned aerial vehicle. You know, for a laugh, and to raise money for the town, and to send the message that the federal government better not mess with Liberty. Nobody was seriously thinking that the law would result in drones really getting shot down, since the $25 licenses would only allow “hunting” drones with a shotgun. But now, the humorless voters of Deer Trail have turned down the ballot initiative by a 75% margin, so their town will have to find other sources of revenue, at the small price of not becoming known as “that crazy place that lets you buy a license to shoot down drones.” After all, what could possibly have gone wrong? Read more on Colorado Town Votes To Not Issue Drone-Hunting Licenses; Freedom May Survive Anyway…
  courtroom blitz

Sweet Guitarist Andy Scott Loses Dumbest Lawsuit Of The Week So Far

So let’s say you’re in a rock band whose glory days are long, long gone. What should you do to get attention? Was your answer “engage in a super-costly frivolous lawsuit that gets me nothing but ridicule”? If so, then you are Andy Scott, guitarist for one-time glam rock powerhouse Sweet. Do you remember Sweet? You remember “Ballroom Blitz,” because everyone remembers “Ballroom Blitz.” Oh, and you remember “Fox on the Run.” Read more on Sweet Guitarist Andy Scott Loses Dumbest Lawsuit Of The Week So Far…
  californias here we come

Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?

According to a report by a state legislative analyst, it would be feasible to split California into six smaller states, although the process would be complicated. The news was reportedly received with great excitement by supporters of a proposed “Six Californias” amendment – and there is at least one supporter, a “multimillionaire Silicon Valley venture capitalist” named Tim Draper, who said in an email after the report’s release, “It is obvious that we need a breath of fresh air in California government, and creating six new states allows the refresh we need … California, as it is, is ungovernable. We need our state governments to be local to us.” It’s so inspiring to know that one wealthy douchebag with a pet project that seems doomed to irrelevance can nonetheless move his idea far enough to get the state to spend money on researching it. Seems like an excellent use of state funds in pursuit of a small-government agenda. Read more on Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?…
  100% foolproof schemes

RNC To Replace Michael Steele With Even More Hilarious Sarah Palin?

From the perspective of your Wonkette, Michael Steele has been an extremely effective RNC chair, as he has supplied us with a near-endless stream of mockable things to write posts about. But those who actually care about the health of the Republican Party are starting to question how well he’s actually doing his job (getting Republicans elected, raising money in the service of getting Republicans elected, not actively embarrassing the Republican Party, and so forth). That’s why a whisper campaign has begun about a better candidate for this important task … a universally beloved team player who works hard and succeeds at whatever she does. YES OBVIOUSLY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN PLEASE GOD LET THIS HAPPEN OH IT WILL BE SO AWESOME WE CANNOT STAND IT. Read more on RNC To Replace Michael Steele With Even More Hilarious Sarah Palin?…
  the best and the brightest

ROBERT McNAMARA IS DEAD: Jesus, anybody else feel like dying in the next week or two? Because now is clearly the time to do it! Robert McNamara prosecuted America’s hopeless adventure in Vietnam on behalf of Presidents Kennedy and Johnson; he also did many other things, which nobody remembers on account of the war. [Washington Post] Read more on …
  racist plots against asians

OF COURSE HER NAME IS ‘BETTY BROWN': “The Texas Democratic Party demanded an apology Wednesday from state Rep. Betty Brown, R-Terrell for suggesting Asian-descent voters should adopt names that are ‘easier for Americans to deal with.'” Soon everybody in Terrell will have comically implausible names like “Sara Smith.” [Houston Chronicle] Read more on …
 

Who Will Be Iowa’s Tanc Girl (or Boy!)

Tomas “The Tanc Engine” Tancredo is taking Iowa by storm as hicks across our nation’s second-boringest state thrill to his message of banning brown people once and for all. To help drum up the natives even more, “Tanc and Tonic” is holding an ol’ fashioned child exploitation contest. Read more on Who Will Be Iowa’s Tanc Girl (or Boy!)…
 

Hopefully the Last White House Correspondents’ Dinner Post

Julia Allison and Henry Kissinger, the two poles of Washington reprehensibility (even though they both actually live in New York — it’s a crazy night, folks). — Photo courtesy HuffPo Was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner the worst party we’ve ever gone to? No, probably not — we’ve gone to more than one Capitol File party, after all. But if we’d spent our Saturday night staying home, ordering a pizza, getting wasted, and watching Arrested Development episodes, would we have had a better time? Yes. And more material, probably. Read more on Hopefully the Last White House Correspondents’ Dinner Post…
 

President Cheney to Rule for 4 Evil Android Years, 10,000 Hu-Man Years

The New York Sun proves today that it is demonstrably crazier than any paper DC has to offer — man up, Wash Times — with one brilliant, utterly insane house editorial. The topic, as it will be in every editorial you read for the next 18 months, is the 2008 presidential race. Their exciting and bold idea? Read more on President Cheney to Rule for 4 Evil Android Years, 10,000 Hu-Man Years…
 

Pelosi Trip Sponsored by NRSC

Nancy Pelosi is in Syria supporting terror and worshiping John the Baptist’s severed head. At a stop pictured right, she donned a head-scarf and hajib and visited a mosque. Because, really, the Republicans didn’t have enough photos to use in their eventual attack ads aimed at the xenophobic end of their base. Read more on Pelosi Trip Sponsored by NRSC…
 

Sandy Berger Is a National Hero

Sandy Berger deserves a medal just for allowing this lede to exist: In a chandeliered room at the Justice Department, the longtime head of the counterespionage section, the chief of the public integrity unit, a deputy assistant attorney general, some trial lawyers and a few FBI agents all looked down at their pant legs and socks. Read more on Sandy Berger Is a National Hero…
 

Jim Webb’s Slanderbox

This may be the single worst interactive feature we’ve ever seen on a high-profile Politician’s website. It’s from Jim Webb’s “Born Fighting” PAC, and it seems to be designed for filthy jokes, libel, and anonymous insults — all of which are displayed, continuously updated, on the front page of the website. Read more on Jim Webb’s Slanderbox…
 

Apocalypse Watch: Creeping Fashionism

Italian fashion designer Gattinoni’s Spring lineup features skirts with bit ol’ two-tone pictures of “influential women.” They’re perfect for diplomatic functions, intensifying hostilities with Iran, and spreading rumors about your sexual orientation, or lack thereof. Read more on Apocalypse Watch: Creeping Fashionism…
 

Dennis Hastert, Media Master

Here’s House Speaker Dennis Hastert on Fox, delivering a statement to the press just moments ago on his office’s unbelievably inept handing of the Mark Foley Cocktober Surprise. Serene little outdoors backdrop, very nice. Meanwhile, on CNN: Read more on Dennis Hastert, Media Master…
 

ARMY LAUNCHES PREEMPTIVE ASSAULT AGAINST ARTICLES

In its battle to win the hearts and minds of recruiting-age Americans, the Army is replacing its main ad slogan — “An Army of One” — with one it hopes will pack more punch: “Army Strong.” Read more on ARMY LAUNCHES PREEMPTIVE ASSAULT AGAINST ARTICLES…
 

House Speaker Asks Former Pages to Say They’re OK to an Answering Machine

Is Dennis Hastert, in addition to being the silliest-looking, also the dumbest member of the House? Speaker Hastert Announces Page Program Tip Line Number[…]“As the Speaker I take responsibility for everything in the building. The buck stops here. The safety and security of the students in the Page program is imperative. “That is why I directed the Clerk of the House to establish a hotline for reporting any information concerning Pages or the Page program. As of this morning, the Clerk of the House has activated the tip-line. It is for anyone with information regarding the Foley matter. This number can also be used to report any other concerns regarding the Page program. The Page program tip line is 866-348-0481.” The greeting for the tip line is as follows: “Thank you for calling the tip line for the United States House of Representatives. If you have information regarding former Congressman Mark Foley and his contacts or communications with any current or former House Pages, or any other information or concern about the House Page program, please leave your information at the tone. Please speak slowly and clearly, and please spell out any names to which you refer. You are encouraged, but not required, to leave your name and contact information. You should be aware of any information you provide may be referred to federal and state law enforcement authorities and/or to House investigative authorities. Thank you for your call.” Read more on House Speaker Asks Former Pages to Say They’re OK to an Answering Machine…
 

Tucker Carlson’s Winning Streak Finally Ends

America’s affair with Tucker Carlson was brief, and it ended bitterly. Last night, Tucker was the very first guy voted off Dancing With the Stars. While it is sad that we’ve lost so many opportunities for mocking and derision, it does mean we no longer have to watching Dancing With the Stars. Read more on Tucker Carlson’s Winning Streak Finally Ends…
 

Tucker Carlson on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ Day One

Tucker, we still don’t know what the hell you’re doing. While it would provide so, so much more material for us if you continued on, we cannot in good conscience recommend that our readers vote for you (if you really want to, you can find your own way to the Dancing With the Stars website — you have until noon EDT). IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. And yes, Tucker got the lowest score of the night. Read more on Tucker Carlson on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ Day One…
 

American History Still Pretty Much Based on Old Cereal Ads

Good morning Washington and welcome back to work. Here to help ease the transition from your debauched three-day weekend excitement is Target’s own Franklin Delano Roosevelt action figure: Kids — can you spot the 200 things terribly, terribly wrong with this picture? And concept? Read more on American History Still Pretty Much Based on Old Cereal Ads…
 

September 11 Fever … Catch It!

From the maudlin Oliver Stone movie nobody wanted to see to the Jack Chick-style Slate comix nobody wants to read, the 9/11 5th Anniversary juggernaut of dubious entertainment just keeps coming. Read more on September 11 Fever … Catch It!…
 

We’re Just Waiting For Slate’s Comic Book Adaptation

Kola Boof, Osama bin Laden’s former sex slave (she of the memoir revealing UBL’s greatest love of all), has a great agent. Her publisher just sent a note TPM Muckraker, after they had the temerity to point out a factual inaccuracy in her book. Included was this thrilling tidbit: Read more on We’re Just Waiting For Slate’s Comic Book Adaptation…