Friends and enemies, it is time to put aside our irrevocable partisan differences and unite in the pursuit of inexpensive yet offensive X-mas/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Channukah/Jedi gifts for our few friends and many enemies. In these troubled times of National Doom, you want a present that is a) cheap, and b) either wonderful or truly horrific. But the gift must not be some wacky novelty manufactured for the sake of laffs. It must be terribly sincere. (Unless it’s not!) What we’re saying is, how many prints of a burly, naked Barack Obama riding a unicorn to victory will you be buying this year? MORE »

“Each and every page is watermarked with the baby Jesus’ tears.”

God bless the Book Party Season. We haven’t paid for a drink in weeks. Even, surprisingly, at the party last night for John Ashcroft’s Never Again: How America Got Her Groove Back.

After the jump, our exclusive report, with even more exclusive pictures from our very own Intern Nick.

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WHY IS MICHELLE MALKIN MAKING THE BABY JESUS CRY? MORE »

We apologize for our long absence today. We had to lie down for a few hours after witnessing THE CUTEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED ON THIS EARTH. We’re serious. Baby Jesus surrounded by kittens on rollerskates singing “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” that might come close. A puppy riding a pony in a cowboy outfit while pretending to rob a bank? Eh. We have seen The Stick in a bowl. Observe:

Sure, he’s still getting it on with that frightening butt plug large dog toy, but, man… The rolling, the tumbling, the turning into a furry little yin-yang symbol? Oh, we’re going to have to lie down again. MORE »