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baby jesus

A long time ago, a bunch of gullible children in Colorado read a Sears ad in a “newspaper” — an ancient method of distributing information — and spent Christmas Eve calling a telephone number they believed would allow them to track the whereabouts of Santa Claus. Instead, they were connected to NORAD, and since the [...]

Oh look, some fucktard wingnuts in Texas somewhere made a video of themselves “executing Santa Claus,” you know, because Baby Jesus hates Santa Claus. Why does Baby Jesus hate a Christian saint? Because Baby Jesus isn’t Catholic anymore, come on, don’t you know anything about American Christmas? Anyway watch these mouth-breathing obese poop-sacks play with [...]

The fake-pearl wearing former-FLOTUS, Barbara Bush, likes to can her fetuses. Screeching moonbat Keith Olbermann got suspended from his show because he  refused to apologize for being a screeching moonbat. The American wet-noodle party has yet to decide how often they will tongue-bathe John Boehner’s anus. Just like Narnia is an allegory for the baby [...]

So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]

Friends and enemies, it is time to put aside our irrevocable partisan differences and unite in the pursuit of inexpensive yet offensive X-mas/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Channukah/Jedi gifts for our few friends and many enemies. In these troubled times of National Doom, you want a present that is a) cheap, and b) either wonderful or truly horrific. But the [...]

RELIGION  2:47 pm October 9, 2006

BREAKING: GOD HATES BLOGS

by Alex Pareene


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