Wonkette

On Martin Luther King Junior Day, Mitt Romney had more than a question about mangy curs to the African-American community. He also had some… advice. Yes, you know where this is going, and you know it’s a tragically dark place lined with Mormon insecurities: MORE »

Grampa Fred Thompson might look like a harmless geriatric with under-eye bags you could smuggle a goat in, but it turns out he’s just another sinister millionaire creep who hates AIDS babies in Africa. “With people dying of cancer, and heart disease, and children dying of leukemia still, I got to tell you — we’ve got a lot of problems here,” he told a reporter who asked him if he supported Bush’s global AIDS initiative. Then he chortled loudly as he picked his teeth with the bones of orphans who died of an easily preventable disease instead of something respectable, like lymphoma. [Washington Post]

America’s favorite Mormon Frenchman and dog-torturing varmint-killing plutocrat shocked a University of South Carolina crowd this week by hoisting aloft a toddler and declaring it his sole and personal heir. Apparently the child has the same middle name as Willard “Mitt” Romney, which is why the tyke will be having comical wheelbarrows of cash delivered to his crib. “He’s getting all the money,” crowed Romney. Also, the child is his grandson. [YouTube]

* Eh, fuck it. Just repost other people’s shit. [Republic of T]
* “Hermaphrodite midget porn” has never been so boring. [Sarah and the Goon Squad]
* “But they aired this video and slide show simultaneously and on repeat EVERY DAY. The video contained shots of actual water births…women in all of their birthing glory (naked, mind you). The slide show contained still shots from water births. All day for 3 days I saw this video continuously.” [OC Girl]
* Your ethanol means fewer body shots for everyone. Thanks, hippes. [Cockblog]

Congratulations to Mary Cheney and her wife Heather Poe, because they (or Mary, actually) just gave birth to a boy. Welcome to the most evil family in the world, little Samuel David Cheney! We just sent our regards: MORE »

A 10-month-old baby in Illinois was issued a Firearm Owner’s Identification Card last week, complete with an ID photograph of the infant. MORE »

District residents are still in shock over the dead deer left rotting for days on Dick Cheney’s lawn, but now the animal-hating veep has apparently taken his peculiar savagery to the other Washington — Washington state. MORE »

Mary Cheney’s baby will be a boy, according to the Vice President himself. MORE »

After a brief hiatus (because nothing could ever beat this), Intern Lauren is back in the game. The forums of closed social-networking site Late Night Shots were full of earnest pleas for help this weekend, and wise, well-considered advice was to be found all over, if you knew where to look. Come with us on a journey of self-discovery. No turbos this week, just love.

Weight loss tips, condoms of yesteryear and women’s lib, after the jump.

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Our crack team of Cheney Compound Spies never sleeps. Hot on the heels of the Mary Cheney pregnancy announcement, one Op saw evidence of mysterious rituals at the Vice Presidential Lair: MORE »