Tag: babies

In Space, No One Can Hear Trump Talk

The Sun Came Up, And Here We Are: A Few Reasons To Keep Going

Time for some perspective.
Sorry, Victor

Freeze Your Balls Off the Medicinal Way

Experts agree: freezing men's privates just leaves them cold-cocked.

Wonkagenda: Monday, August 22, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW

Baby Screams At Trump Rally. Also, There Was A Baby.

Donald Trump has had it with these motherfucking babies at these motherfucking rallies.

Anti-Vaccine Film Safely Removed From Robert De Niro’s Ass

Welcome back to the cheaters, rapscallions, and assorted flim-flammers alike. It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week we have a double dose of dumb-dumbs being extra diddly-dumb about vaccines. Do vaccines cause autism? Still nope!...

PSA: Maple Syrup Will Not Cure Your Baby’s Swollen Brains Because It Is Not Medicine

Welcome welcome! It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin. Today we present a Special Edition of the Bulletin, with a very specific, important message: Please, for the love of all things holy, GIVE YOUR CHILDREN REAL HONKING...

Immigration Judge Certain That Three-Year-Olds Make Dandy Attorneys

Three-year-olds are good at lots of things. Singing weird made-up songs about the color orange until you want to throttle them, asking awkward questions about who Mommy's new friend that stays overnight is, being perpetually sticky. We will grant...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Please Do Not Smear Your C-Section Baby With Vagina Goo. Really.

Welcome back to the finest little chuckwagon medicine show this side of the Rio Grande. It's the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week, we bring you a fine concoction of pregnancy woo, all bundled up snug as a bug in...

Republicans Still Gunning For Planned Parenthood, Maybe They’ll All End Up In Jail

This week, we all learned a valuable lesson about how doing crimes to Planned Parenthood doesn't pay. Or, more precisely, those of us who already knew that sat back and laughed and drank sad "pro-life" tears because the lying crook fraudster...

Fox News Outraged Planned Parenthood Witch Hunt Burning Wrong Witches

Sure is tough to be a rightwing "pro-life" full-of-bull propaganda machine these days. On Monday, we learned the sleazy jizz rags behind the "gotcha" videos of Planned Parenthood doing "crimes" to "baby parts" have been indicted in Houston, Texas, for being...

You’ll Never Guess Who Might Be Going To Prison For Those Planned Parenthood Videos

Last year, we heard some devastating whoa if true horror stories about Planned Parenthood. Undercover videos released by a group of "pro-life" terrorist-sympathizer scumbags called the Center for Medical Progress, led by cock rash James O'Keefe wannabe David Daleiden, confirmed the...
Are they giggling because they stealed a baby???

The Duggars Will Help You Steal A Baby In Five Days Or Less, Maybe

Doesn't it blow when you want a baby but you ain't got no baby, and they won't let you take home the first one you see at the baby store? That's when you have to get on your knees and...
Have a holly jolly titsmas.

Idiot Nevada Lawmaker Michele Fiore Decks The Halls With Guns, Tits, More Guns

For liberals, it is the War On Christmas season, where we get up every single day at early-o-clock to receive our marching orders for how to make the baby Jesus cry in his manger. REAL AMERICANS, though, are sending...

Pity Obama Won’t Say What He Really Feels About Whiny Coward Republicans

The last few days we've learned that Republican governors, presidential candidates, pundits, and those weird people who show up in your Facebook friends' comments sections are some of the most pathetic, cowardly excuses for human beings our great US...
No grown-up Supreme Court juice for you!

Here’s Your Badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Doing Gay Stuff In Vietnam

We've all been wondering what Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg -- AKA The Notorious R.B.G., AKA the biggest baddest Supreme Court superhero to ever don a robe -- has been doing ever since she did her part to do gay marriage to the entire...
Listen up, you Messico losers!

Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump’s Mouth Hole

Hurray, Donald Trump has finally given America Donald Trump what America Donald Trump has always wanted, by running for president of the United Trumps States of Trump America. Since he is perhaps the most ridiculous person to pretend to run...