Speaking of Nancy Pelosi and Afghanistan and sexism, here’s a completely brilliant clip of cool-as-ice Harry Reid, the “Late-Middle-Aged Arthur Fonzarelli of Reno,” executing the latest attempt in his decades-long quest to “break the touch barrier” with Nancy Pelosi, finally. (And after all these years!) MORE »

The biggest television event of the day has already occurred, and it has nothing to do with Obama and death care. Meghan McCain has been guest-hosting the ladies’ television program The View, and today’s celebrity drop-ins included Mr. Rod Blagojevich and his lovely wife Miss Lady. Meghan tells Blago that he is “ballsy” for writing a book. “You definitely must feel like you didn’t do anything wrong I mean to write a book and whatever like that’s how secure you are that this is something else?” “Well that’s exactly right, Meghan.” [YouTube]

Yes, it is Barack Obama’s 48th birthday today — or as he might put it, the ninth anniversary of his 39th birthday, HEY-O! Oh, aging. The point is: SMALL NATIONS, WHAT SHALST THY SACRIFICE? All must give Obama something. Antigua has already set the bar quite high by giving our president his own mountain, the erstwhile Boggy Peak: “Antigua’s highest mountain officially became ‘Mount Obama’ on Tuesday as the small Caribbean nation celebrated the American president on his birthday and saluted him as a symbol of black achievement.” A mere one mountain? INVADE. (Meawhile, your Wonkette will honor Obama by revealing his TRUE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, later. We so have it!) [AP]

Last year Rudy Giuliani’s humble son Andrew, then a student at Duke, sued the university for kicking him off its varsity golf team, a move that “interferred with Giuliani’s efforts toward becoming a professional golfer,” the right to which is, what, Seventh Amendment? Eighth? (Second.) Yesterday a U.S. Magistrate Judge recommended dismissing the case in a SNARKY opinion that just eviscerates this brat, with “golf humor.” Ever seen a judge reject a plaintiff’s “promissory estoppel claim” by quoting a line from Caddyshack? [The Smoking Gun]

Joe the goddamn Plumber is suing a few gals in Ohio, state employees to be exact, for cheating with their computers! This latest publicity stunt of a civil action states that these three “violated his privacy when they gathered his personal information in a records search,” which they were not allowed to do. You may remember that this personal information included the revelations that his name was not Joe, that he was not a Plumber, and that he had a tax lien on his house. And it was only after the public learned about this things that Samuel Wurzelbacher really hit Jackpot! MORE »

• ENOUGH OF THIS CLOWN: “Joe Lieberman returned to Capitol Hill today — his first day back since speaking at the GOP convention — and was greeted by the resignation of his $120,000-a-year legislative director Joe Goffman.” He probably just got a job offer to do, well, anything else. [The Crypt]

Here’s the first page of a real letter from some sad panda named Marvin D. Wells, one of 28 pledged Hillary Clinton delegates from Washington State who will still cast his vote for her at the national convention in August. He still hopes that Hillary can pull off a coup at the convention, you see, because without her he’s “Just A Nobody.” We know this because it’s written in large purple fairy-tale font atop the letter. Why must Barack Obama hurt this adorable Microsoft Word ‘97 artist’s feelings? WHY MUST BARACK OBAMA MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A NOBODY? [PDF Letter via Slog]