Wonkette

Like the make-believe Gatorade terror plot and “Snakes on a Plane,” the August 22 apocalypse scare fizzled so quickly that it’s hard to even remember the awful panic that gripped the entire world mere hours ago.

Oh wait, the “entire world” couldn’t give a damn. But several fear whores at various “Who do we bomb next?” publications did at least give it the old college try.

It’s time for us to do the same.

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Our gadget-obsessed sibling brings us this news: MORE »

Earlier this afternoon, homeland security hottie Frances Townsend graced our television screens, to outline federal government preparations for a possible outbreak of pandemic flu. We were alerted to this development when our traffic spiked, due to Google searches for “frances townsend” and “frances townsend pics.”

The Times offers this account of the federal plan:

Although the federal government will stockpile 75 million doses of antiviral drugs and 20 million doses of vaccine to combat any outbreak of pandemic flu, local governments and individual communities will have to shoulder most of the burden in battling the disease, the White House said today.

Translation: “Good luck, kids, you’re on your own! This is not going to be another Hurricane Katrina, where the federal government gets blamed for everything. Fault your state and local governments instead.”

After the jump, a few more comments on the federal plan (such as it may be).

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Our friends Down Under bring us this news dispatch: MORE »

• “Okay, Matt Santos. If the West Wing is on TV in four years, and you haven’t improved fake education, I will not vote for you.” [EW]
• Inflation touches us all:”If I don’t get a Cartier ‘Love’ Bracelet from my boyfriend this Christmas, it’s over.” — Jessica Cutler [Capitol File, via Last Call! sub. req.]
• Maury Povitch and Connie Chung: LAFF RIOT! So says MSNBC: “A review of the week’s news that will fuse elements of ‘Meet the Press,’ the defunct ‘Crossfire’ and ‘The Daily Show.’” Where’s my “Current Affair”? [NYT]
• “Welch’s Grape Juice does not provide protection against the avian flu.” And you’re saying the salt over my shoulder doesn’t work either? [Welchs.com via Tarastotle.com]
• Why bloggers hate the MSM: “Bloggers got stood up at prom. By the MSM.” [McSweeney's]
• I do care about the Virginia gubernatorial campaign, I do. As long the the Dems win. [Powerline]
• “Do I Make You Look Stupid?” Feminist t-shirt slogans needed. We like: “You would not get my sitcom references.” [The Countness]

• Cheney has “waged an intense” private campaign to reject changes to the guidelines concerning detainee treatment; the position is facing increased opposition from other officials and lawmakers. [WP]
• Senators express concern about misuse of the Patriot Act. Tom Coburn: “We should not ever give up freedom on the basis of fear, and any freedom that we give up should be limited in time and limited in scope.” [NYT, WP]
• Bush, in Brazil: “Our goal is to promote opportunity for people throughout the Americas, whether you live in Minnesota or Brazil, and the best way to do this is by expanding free and fair trade.” On the protests: “I expect there to be dissent. That’s what freedom is all about.” [WP, USAT, ]
• Latin America Summit proved to be no reprieve for Bush; on the first day, he did not return to his hotel until after midnight. [WP]
• New York Times on Alito: “An examination of several chapters in his life suggests he is conservative by temperament, upbringing and experience - conditions that appear to have shaped his approach to life and his work more than any narrow ideological niche.” Los Angeles Times: Alito’s “15 years’ worth of legal opinions do not promise fealty to any ideology.” [NYT, LAT]

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• Karl Rove is under pressure in the White House to, “at a minimum,” issue an apology; Patrick Fitzgerald may still charge him with making false statements. Strategist: “Karl does not have any real enemies in the White House, but there are a lot of people in the White House wondering how they can put this behind them if the cloud remains over Karl.” [WP]
• Democrats are trying to frame ‘06 to their advantage; slogan “Together, American Can Do Better” is displayed at events and national platform will be unveiled. [NYT, LAT, LAT, WT, USAT]
• Congressional Democrats join John McCain in calling for better treatment of detainees. [WP]
• Scott McClellan’s “credibility is already on trial,” his “reputation has been left dangling in the glare of the television lights.” [NYT]
• Tuesday’s gubernatorial elections in Virginia and New Jersey will be an “early measure” of ‘06. [WSJ]
• Bush will be met with widespread anti-Americanism on his upcoming trip to South America. [WP, WSJ]
• Administration’s flu plan criticized on Capitol Hill. [NYT]
• House Republicans are willing to cut food stamp program for 300,000 legal immigrants in effort to shave down the budget. [WP]
• Lawmakers turn out in force for funeral of Rosa Parks. [WP, NYT]
• Harry Reid’s idea for a closed-session originated from Tom Daschle. Charles Schumer: “My phones have been ringing off the hook… It has played far better than we had thought.” [WP]
• Former Deputy Interior Secretary said Jack Abramoff offered him a job while he was at the department. [NYT]
• Michael Chertoff unveils border security plan. [USAT]

• Libby is expected to be charged today with making false statements to the jury; investigation of Rove will continue as Fitzgerald will extend the inquiry. McClellan will not brief today and Bush will spend the weekend at Camp David. [NYT, WSJ]
• Libby shops for an attorney; Rove looks for a P.R. team. [WP]
• Next Supreme Court nominee could be named within days; “aggressive opposition from conservatives” caused Harriet Miers to withdraw. The “endgame” began early this week. [WP, WP, NYT, NYT, WSJ, LAT, WT]
• The worst week of Bush’s political life is not over yet. Scholar: “Is there a Howard Baker moment? And if there’s a Howard Baker moment, who’s Howard Baker?” [WP, NYT]
• Miers nomination “was an episode that seemed wholly out of character with the president’s style.” Brownstein: “[T]he president no longer can consistently impose his will on his party, much less the Congress or the country.” [WP, LAT, USAT]
• “Senators came to bury Miers yesterday, not to praise her,” Milbank writes. Lott sings “Happy Days Are Here Again!” [WP, WT]
• Miers remained upbeat and loyal throughout the process. Former colleague: “The White House didn’t pay attention, and the right just chewed her up. It was like a gang, a lynch mob.” [NYT, WP, WSJ]
• Conservative pundits had their way. Charles Krauthammer: “I guess she reads my column.” [WP, LAT]
• Bush was apparently the last to know of her withdrawal. [WT]

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• Bush, visiting New Orleans, fields complaints about government’s response. [WP, NYT]
• White House dismisses doubts about Miers. Thune: “It has been my expectation that President Bush would nominate someone in the mold of Justices Scalia and Thomas and it is my hope that Harriet Miers will prove to be such a person.” [WT]
• Michael Leavitt outlines flu pandemic fears: “What if it weren’t just New Orleans. What if it were Seattle, San Diego, Corpus Christi, Denver, Chicago, New York? Make your own list.” [USAT]
• Documents related to Miers from 1995-2000 released by the Texas State Library and Archives Commission “provide a glimpse into her views on the proper separation of powers and the debate over making the civil justice system more fair and predictable.” Miers considered Bush to be “cool” and “the best governor ever.” [WP, NYT]
• Fitzgerald considered relentless, aggressive, and apolitical. [USAT]
• Military considers special force for natural disaster relief. [NYT]

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