Tag Archives: auto bailout

  the place where his horses run free

Old Handsome Joe Biden Gets His Motor Running At Detroit Auto Show

Hey there, Old Handsome Joe Biden! How you liking the motorcars at the Detroit Auto Show? Too bad the Secret Service won’t let you take a literal victory lap, but the metaphorical kind isn’t bad, either: “What a difference five years makes,” Mr. Biden said to auto executives, noting that in 2009 car sales plunged and many questioned whether the auto industry could survive the recession. Auto sales have surged in recent months and climbed back to precrisis levels. “American cars and trucks are once again changing the game and I might add providing good, decent jobs,” he said. We would really like to be able to say that OHJB then burned donuts into the auto show carpet, sending journalists scattering, but sadly, that would be inaccurate. Canada’s National Journal does at least note that he gave it some thought: Sitting in some new models of the Jeep Cherokee and Chrysler 200, he joked to surrounding reporters that he might run them over. “I am driving it off,” said the flamboyant No. 2. Heh. “Flamboyant.” We believe that means that Mr. Vice President Old Handsome Biden is what you call a ho-mo-sechsul. Read more on Old Handsome Joe Biden Gets His Motor Running At Detroit Auto Show…
  fix it again tony

Eyetalian Car Maker Buys Out Chrysler, Brings Scourge Of Continued Employment To Midwest

Tragedy befell Detroit (again!) with the New Year, as Italian car-joke maker Fiat announced it was buying the 41 percent of Chrysler stock that it doesn’t already own. Fiat was invited by the Obama administration to buy a stake in Chrysler in the tragic summer of 2009, when Chrysler and GM went through government-assisted bankruptcy as part of the socialist takeover of the U.S. auto industry. Since then, both Chrysler and Government Motors have returned fully to private hands, and both are humming along nicely, selling cars that people actually want to buy. But imagine how much better off they’d be doing if the free market had been allowed to work! Read more on Eyetalian Car Maker Buys Out Chrysler, Brings Scourge Of Continued Employment To Midwest…
  and osama bin laden is still dead

Wonksplainer! How Losing $11 Billion On GM Stock Is Actually Reasonably Awesome

Good news, wonkeroos: Your U.S. American government no longer owns any stock in General Motors! So no more lame ‘government motors’ jokes by people who would have rather seen an entire industry and a million jobs move offshore! The headline in all the papers is all about how the government lost about $11 billion in the five-year-long program that brought GM back from bankruptcy, so that is not very good. But considering that the program was never intended to make money, not losing the entire $50 billion is not very bad. Let’s wonksplore.  Read more on Wonksplainer! How Losing $11 Billion On GM Stock Is Actually Reasonably Awesome…
  as i remember it you're a moron

Steve Doocy Explains: Mitt Romney Saved The Auto Industry!

Don’t, by any means, click on the above video of Steve Doocy explainering that Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and roll back under your desk and get covered with all the dust bunnies collecting on your tangled mass of printer cords. (If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.) Read more on Steve Doocy Explains: Mitt Romney Saved The Auto Industry!…
  Someone Is Wrong On The Internet!

No, GM Is Not Losing $49K On Every Volt; Reuters Just Fails at Basic Business Math

If there’s one characteristic that distinguishes conservatives from liberals, it’s business acumen, right? Libruls may occasionally be able to sell some patchouli-scented hemp-based iPod cozies at the Lesbian Sisterhood crafts fair, but conservatives are the folks who REALLY understand how Bidness works! That’s pretty much the premise of every Republican campaign in the last 30 years, after all. So how is it that when a journalist made a pretty obvious error in a story, the supposedly business-savvy folks in the right-wing blogosphere went nuts passing on the story’s erroneous conclusions? Here’s the skinny: A Reuters story on Monday featured this shocking lede: General Motors Co sold a record number of Chevrolet Volt sedans in August — but that probably isn’t a good thing for the automaker’s bottom line. Nearly two years after the introduction of the path-breaking plug-in hybrid, GM is still losing as much as $49,000 on each Volt it builds… ZOMG, said the wingnutosphere, Government Motors (get it? get it?) is losing tons of money — our money!! — on every single one of those horrible cars that nobody wants and that Obama’s socialist vehicular commissars forced GM to build as a condition of getting a bailout with OUR MONEEEEEE!!!!!!! Only that’s not, like, accurate at all. Read more on No, GM Is Not Losing $49K On Every Volt; Reuters Just Fails at Basic Business Math…
  come on

Romney Aide Outlines Bold New Campaign Strategy of Stealing Credit For All Good Things

Mitt Romney gopher Eric Fehrnstrom is on a one-man mission to rescue political comedy this campaign season, bless his heart. First there was that time he gleefully marched out in front of the teevee camera to call his boss an Etch a Sketch, for being shifty. Now he is hilariously running around claiming that Mitt Romney is a terrible secret socialist who masterminded the popular auto industry bailout despite his extremely public stance against it. “His position on the bailout was exactly what President Obama followed,” Fehrnstrom said. It is a bit of a weird thing to say! Read more on Romney Aide Outlines Bold New Campaign Strategy of Stealing Credit For All Good Things…
  mittens haz a sad

Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful

Execution worshipper Mitt Romney has a strange new campaign video that features Mittens driving around very depressing neighborhoods in Detroit, lost maybe? No, it is Mitt Romney’s Tour of Ruined America, which is not Obama’s fault, says Mitt (ALWAYS BLAME OBAMA, MITT), but Obama isn’t fixing it, either. Blah blah, this explanation is taking too long. What will Mitt do to fix it? He will get to that later, he is busy feeling sorry for Michigan right now. This Obama character has done nothing to help Detroit, because the auto bailout does not count for adding 50,000 jobs, for being socialist. “He made things worse,” Mittens says to some invisible person in the back seat of the car, and for a moment you forget whether he is talking about Obama or just talking in third person about his own campaign, by making this weird, sad video about how sad Detroit is. Watch it after the jump: Read more on Mitt Romney Drives Around Detroit In Campaign Video, Says It’s Awful…
  useless

Cheney Appears To Have Little Political Capital…??

The GOP’s two most important and popular “fixers,” Vice President Richard “Mitt” Cheney and Bush chief of staff Josh Bolten, spent yesterday on Capitol Hill in a closed-door meeting with Republican Senators, trying to persuade them to vote for the Bush-Democrat Motorcar Bailout plan of $14 billion. (Somehow, $14 billion has become a lot of money for Congress to spend!) The meeting did not go well at all — Cheney bit them? — and now the Republican Senators will never vote for anything involving money and cars again. Read more on Cheney Appears To Have Little Political Capital…??…
  nation of children

David Vitter Calling Something ‘Ass-Backwards’ Causes National Insanity

The fact that David “Diaperfuck” Vitter is leading the Senate charge against the auto bailout makes Wonkette want to give as much money as possible to the automakers. Anyway, ha, this clip is a basket of Wonders. Like a frightening tool, Vitter is shown around :40, on the Senate floor, first saying that the bailout deal is “putting the cart before the horse.” Then he hesitates, looks down in fear, and resolves to go for it: “Isn’t that… [weird facial expression] to use a common phrase… just ass-backwards?” David that is just foul! Read more on David Vitter Calling Something ‘Ass-Backwards’ Causes National Insanity…