Over the weekend in Australia, incumbent Prime Minister John Howard, known for hugging and kissing George W. Bush like all the time, lost his power to the Labor party’s debonair Kevin Rudd. Howard is in his eleventh year as prime minister, and his tenure has seen consistent growth, full employment and low long-term interest rates. But eleven years is the new zillion years, so this Rudd guy can take over now. Besides, Rudd’s going to apologize formally to the Aborigines! Because only state apologies can cure widespread poverty and centuries of racial oppression. [Time]

President Bush Junior screwed up even more than normal during brief remarks at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum in Sydney. Foreign journalists were, as usual, horrified and amused by the bumbling and buffoonery. MORE »

President Bush may be one of the healthiest presidents ever, what with his getting 12 hours of sleep a night, biking a hundred miles a day, and forcing his wife to pretend she doesn’t smoke like Bill Hicks, but some Australians are criticizing his diet. That’s right, Australians — the nation that eats only grilled koala and eucalyptus leaves and drinks beer for breakfast and lunch. Apparently, Bush isn’t getting enough of two of those important food groups. MORE »

* Tom Daschle will see if he’s got what it takes to sink the Obama campaign. [Political Wire]
* Walnuts! campaign too broke to have separate interns for coffee and donuts. [On Call]
* Even testimony from a “natural family planning” advocate gets a director’s cut. [My Left Nutmeg]
* British hostages in Iran subject to the torture of captivity without iPod. [thisislondon]
* University of Florida soon to have a Jeb Bush School For Kids Who Don’t Read Good. [alligator]
* Australian humor mostly lost on Hillary. [PrezVid]
* Google Maps-Darfur genocide mash-up — is there anything it can’t do? [Reuters

Blowhard Australian Prime Minister John Howard better watch out who he insults. There’s a super-secret new spy base currently under construction on the blighted western edge of the so-called “land down under.” The base will coordinate communications with spy satellites and such, and will make it “almost impossible for Australia to be fully neutral or stand back from any war in which the US was involved,” according to Philip Dorlin, a visiting fellow at the Australian Defence Force Academy. MORE »

Aussie PM John Howard is so determined to see every Muslim (and many thousands of Americans) killed in Iraq that he endorsed Bush over Kerry in 2004. But his love for Dubya goes beyond mere words. MORE »

Aussie prime minister John Howard isn’t falling for that Iran stuff — he knows the actual leader of the Iraqi insurgency is Barack Obama. The Australian cretin chose the day after Obama’s announcement to make the asinine comments on TV.

“If I was running al-Qaeda in Iraq, I would put a circle around March 2008 and pray, as many times as possible, for a victory not only for Obama, but also for the Democrats,” said the mouth-breathing prime minister. Yes, keep drawing circles around “March 2008″ and we’ll go ahead and have our election in November.

Join us for crayons and calendars, after the jump.

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Today’s edition of “How Others See Us” features Senator-elect Jim Webb in his secret guise as a dangerous horned devil pig, giving a hearty back-kick to the Canadian Mountie George Allen … in front of a mosque in the desert somewhere. MORE »

• Sweet old lady hates Bush so much she works a room of children into a murderous rage. Grandma’s Militia now on terrorist watch list.
  [The Australian] MORE »

* Soledad O’Brien: Wednesday’s “Hump Day Hussy.” [Evil Discussor] MORE »

* “That motherfucker George Washington had like thirty god damn dicks.” [Drink at Work] MORE »