australia
Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News
Hi diddly ho, Wonkerinos! It has been awhile since we submerged ourselves in the crazy world of America’s most prominent and deadly fetish. Frankly, we were feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the stories of people accidentally blowing away their own toddlers while cleaning their shotguns, and then the useless dicks in Congress killed gun [...]
Totally Not Lying Men’s Rights Activist Is Your Newest James O’Keefe!
This bloke, Reno, he is quite a bloke! As a men’s rights activist, he totally GOTCHAED all those harpies who only pretend to care about domestic violence, when they really just want to falsely accuse these gallant knights of unspeakable acts what are not true. They also want to murder all our bepenised brethren and [...]
Australia’s ‘First Bloke’ Talks Prostate Exams From Asian Women (Video)
Here’s a little humor from, um, down under. At a reception for the Australian and West Indies cricket teams, Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s longtime boyfriend, Tim Mathieson, took the time to discuss his work in men’s health awareness. “We can get a blood test for it, but the digital examination is the only true way [...]
Aussie Prime Minister Broad Natters On And On, Won’t Shut Trap About ‘Sexism’
Above, via LittleGreenFootballs, is a quite enjoyable 15 minutes of Australian Prime Minister Tilda Swinton smearing her menses all over the leader of the opposition, Richard from Downton Abbey, for being a total sexist lorry. It is because some other dude, this “Slipper” fellow (who serves with Tilda in the Labor Party, which is center-left) [...]
Forbes Explains Why You People Need More Horrible Rich Ladies Like Gina Rinehart
Hey–remember Gina Rinehart? Oh, sure you do! She is the world’s richest woman and by some bizarre coincidence, also seems to be one of the world’s worst people. Here she is, warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day and oh, here [...]
World’s Worst Woman And World’s Richest Woman Are Coincidentally Very Same Person
The Los Angeles Times brings us this important story of a very nice lady — the world’s wealthiest! — explaining to poor people to shut up and eat their fucking gruel: Just in case you were beginning to think rich people were deeply misunderstood and that they feel the pain of those who are less [...]
Aussie Politician Plagiarizes Michael Douglas To Attack Opposition
Anthony Albanese, the transport minister of Australia’s leading Labor Party, recently went on the offensive in a speech targeted at the country’s opposition party leader Tony Abbott, and for inspiration, looked to the B movie The American President written by our beloved cinematic fabulist Aaron Sorkin and starring Michael Douglas. By which we mean, he [...]
Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster
In a bold strike of the kind we hope to see in a lot of nations this year, a protesting group of indigenous people mobbed Australian prime minster Julia Gillard and opposition leader Tony Abbott from a fancy 1% restaurant in the capital of Canberra — Gillard and Abbott were about to be torn apart, [...]
Fancy Fighter Jets Costing Nation Zillions of Dollars Do Not Work
So what do these double super killer stealth F-35 fighter jets go for these days? A few million dollars? A hundred million? A BILLION DOLLARS? No, none of those things. It is actually more like, “a trillion dollars.” We were going to do a cute listicle of “things that are less expensive and yet crucially [...]
Today In Politics: Australian Nerds Invent a Tractor Beam
If you read one more thing today before you uninstall your internet, because of boredom, let it be this: Researchers from the Australian National University have announced that they have built a device that can move small particles a meter and a half using only the power of light. Physicists have been able to manipulate [...]
Crocodile-On-Chicken Savagery To Determine Australia’s Next Ruler
We already know that the Australian election coming up this weekend is just a way to kill time until the death of Elizabeth II unleashes anarchy on the country — anarchy that can only end in “Thunderdome Law.” But now the civilized world has learned exactly how the Aussies intend to determine the winner of [...]
New Aussie PM Eagerly Awaits Queen Elizabeth’s Death
Did you know that Australia, the America of the Antiopdes, still squirms under the brutal heel of Elizabeth of Windsor? It is true! The Aussies came close to throwing off her yoke a decade ago, but she used her lizard-person mind powers on them somehow and they slavishly voted to keep sending her forty tons [...]
Palin, Murdoch Announce Moose-Extermination Plan On Twitter
Ha, ha, just kidding! Rupert and Sarah do not want to kill all the moose per se; they’re just saying that if these dumb moose are too stupid to get out of the way of our leaky industrial drilling equipment, and we end up killing each and every one of them in the process of [...]
Chemical Sky Death Replaces CDOs As Main Threat To America
Whoah hey a House-Senate conference committee stayed up all night and came up with a compromise version of the financial reform bill! Does it contain a substantive section on derivatives reform? Well, “banks and their parent companies [must] segregate much of their derivatives activities into a separately capitalized subsidiary,” so, we’ll say … sure, maybe.
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