Tag: australia

Gary Johnson Knows Learning Things Is A Gateway Drug To Knowing Things

This idiot does not give stoners a good name.
Wipers of other people's bottoms!

Philippines Wins World Court Case Over South China Sea Islands, China Responds, ‘Sez Who?’

So, what are the Foreigns up to this morning, aside from getting exercise outside by catching all the Pokémons? Oh, just defying international court decisions like a common George W. Bush, OK, fine, wait, what? Turns out that earlier today...

Here’s Your Badass Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Moving To New Zealand If Trump Is Elected

It's no big deal because sane Americans aren't going to let Trump anywhere near the presidency. OR ARE THEY?

Don’t Listen To Teevee Chefs About Sunscreen Plz

Oh thank God, it's the Snake Oil Bulletin!

Come To Rio For Olympic Fever! The Kind That Leads To Death For Half Those Infected.

The Rio 2016 Olympics do not sound like a good time!

Shove Herbs Up Your Butt For Cancer: The Snake Oil Bulletin

Beware of Australians trying to convince you to treat cancer by putting anything up your butt.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: What’s The Deal With The Breast Milk, Huh?

Welcome back, friends, and a Chappy Chanukkah to our friends of the Abrahamic persuasion! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, a weekly mashup of the creepiest, crawliest, most lurid tales of depravity and sin this side...
The real holocausters, we guess.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Sesame Street Holocausting Your Children!

Greetings, pilgrims! Saddle on up to the caravan here, and let your old pal Dr. Volpe spin you the tale of a joker-faced jackal-beast who decided to pick a fight with puppets. As you'll soon see, dear reader, up...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Beat Your Meat with Some Slap Therapy!

Salutations, sinners, and welcome back once more to the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week, we're traveling to the Mystical Lands of the Orient. Ancient Chinese medicine has been used for millennia to do just about anything your lily white...
Not here to make jokes.

Amy Schumer Says Mass Shootings Somehow Involve Guns, Guess She Hates America

Last week, Sarah Clements, a gun control activist and daughter of a Sandy Hook survivor, wrote an open letter to Amy Schumer, asking her to step up and speak out to try to do SOMETHING about our uniquely American problem...
Now they've even destroyed the sanctity of divorce

Nice Christian Forced To Ditch Wife Now That Gays Have Ruined Everything

We were afraid this might happen. Well, not afraid exactly, but we paused for a brief moment the first time we were warned that gays would ruin marriage for everyone else, mostly to say, "Who what how HUH?" But...
Up to no good, maybe or maybe not

Is Hillary Clinton World’s Evilest Arms Dealer Ever? Maybe!

At last, a Hillary Clinton ZOMGgate story that might actually be a thing! (Or might not. You never know with those wily Clintons, which is why it's generally best to assume guilty until proven otherwise.) According to an exhaustive...
Good infectious fun!

Insane Anti-Vaxxer Children’s Book Will Make Every Kid Want Measles

So here is a thing that exists: An anti-vaxxer children's book called Melanie's Marvelous Measles, published in 2012 and getting renewed attention now for pretty obvious reasons. It's a happy little book about the joys of getting measles and...
Fresh out of butt jokes this week.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: ‘Health Rangers,’ Please Don’t Put GMO Scientists On Your ‘Kill Lists’

Are you suffering from a poor case of chin cough, milk leg, or St. Anthony's Fire? Well step right up hyah! Your Wonkette proudly presents to you, at only a modest fee, the Snake Oil Bulletin, your premier source...
Sit and spin, OK?

Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is one mean grinch. Because the Senate, as well as the House of Representatives, has been so busy not working all year, Reid's threatening to murder Christmas vacation, which for most Americans is maybe...
Also, many car accidents aren't fatal, so I don't wear seatbelts.

Quack Anti-Vaxxers: Protect Your Kids With Sugar Instead

Just in case you needed a reason to slap your forehead and despair for humanity this morning, how about a recent report from CBC's Marketplace program on anti-vaccine myths being fed to new parents in the Great White North,...