Hmm. So maybe there is one of those “God” things after all? When asked if he’d run for political office, unlicensed handyman and Constitutional originalist Joe Wurzelbacher said, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.’” Joe will be in Austin on July 3 to celebrate the day our anti-Communist Founding Fathers signed the Book of Mormon, which explicitly forbids taxation. Everyone’s invited! [WND via Think Progress]

Austin mayoral candidate Brewster “Phil” McCracken has ENRAGED the entire city of St. Louis by talking about how horrible they are, vis a vis the completely perfect city of Austin (which many an Austinite will assure you is “not like the rest of Texas” because they “keep it weird” with their single charming homeless man who parades around bus stops in a thong). Anyway, here’s a link to the offending campaign ad. (McCracken is “keeping it weird” by not allowing YouTube embeds, because why would you want people to look at your video all time?) MORE »

Your editor showed up at the Austin Convention Center well in advance of her panel and spent many fruitless minutes finding the registration booth, getting checked in, and assuring the registration people that she was not some impostor “Sarah Smith” from some non-Wonkette entity. Fortunately, this process went on long enough that she got to meet Mark McKinnon! MORE »

Here’s the magic secret to throwing a good free party: Have an open bar that will pour actual booze instead of just beer and wine, serve good food, and make sure the attractive people show up. This last hurdle can be pretty difficult to overcome at a blogger party, which was why the geniuses at the Huffington Post and GQ made sure their Netroots Nation party would feature little Zooey Deschanel-lookalike nymphet waitresses and a healthy smattering of cute boys in slim-cut suits straight out of Mad Men. Of course everybody got wasted. MORE »

Wonkette’s parent company, Gawker Media, is sponsoring a party from 9-11 tonight at the Side Bar, on 7th and Red River. Your editor Sara K. Smith will be there feverishly downing free drinks, and she invites you to do the same. The party’s open to the public and will also feature Special Guest Stars from Lifehacker, Valleywag, Fleshbot, io9, and probably other Gawker blogs she hasn’t even heard of.

Hillary Clinton’s biggest enemy in all of Texas is 43-year-old Robert Morrow. He’s super angry and he lives alone in suburban Austin, where he spends all his time studying the many crimes and conspiracies of the Clintons. In his house, you’ll find “a lot of Ron Paul campaign material, a prominently displayed Hooters calendar and an 8-foot tall shelf packed with Clinton books.” And ladies? He’s single! MORE »

Doomed presidential candidate Ron Paul is truly leading a movement, and the proof is in the massive turnouts he regularly achieves…and the tragically low number of people he is able to convert into actual voters. Last Saturday in Austin he held a rally of semi-historic proportions, gathering 4,000 people on the University of Texas campus to hear him rail against the criminal Federal Reserve. And that day, a whopping 54 people cast an early ballot on campus for a Republican presidential candidate. Assuming every one of those votes went to Dr. Paul, he will only need approximately eleventy zillion more rally-goers to clinch his party’s nomination. [Burnt Orange Report, Daily Texan]

Do you like the “who repeated a two-sentence thing from some other liberal speech” scandal? Then you will love this latest Solid Proof that sometimes Hillary Clinton also cheats by using words spoken in the past by others. Look how she did it twice tonight. MORE »

Your faithful Wonketeer files this report from the Hooters by the Hyatt. She is seated, for reals, at a table shaped like Texas and happily awaits the arrival of some chicken strips (medium spicy, Ranch dressing). Obama just spoke at the Texas Democratic Party dealy at the glamorous Hyatt, and many people cheered very loudly, and he spoke of what makes Austin great in suspiciously general terms. MORE »

For a line so carefully scripted, it sure flopped. Ha ha, she said “xerox” instead of a hopeful word! Whole exchange after the jump.

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Despite the sad, inexcusable comment outage during what was probably the last major debate of this long, terrible 2008 campaign, there’s still a whole lot of Texan “fun” tonight (and the comments work again, thank the Mormon Jesus). Here’s Part One and Part Two of our debate liveblogging live in Austin, and live coverage of various fancy and unfancy Texas Dem Parties is coming soon!