Tag Archives: austerity

  wonksplainer

Austerity Declared Winner In Washington State Bridge Collapse

Gee, I wonder what will happen if we build roads and bridges, then completely ignore them for decades and drastically cut funding everywhere in order to suck the knob of the right wing’s newest golden calf, austerity? Surely nothing bad will happen ever, because debt and deficit are lurking in the corner, threatening to molest your kiddies worse that Ghost Harvey Milk, and Jesus loves austerity. Well, folks in Washington State got a taste of austerity’s sour splooge yesterday when a bridge on Interstate 5 straight up collapsed: The major highway bridge linking the Washington state city of Seattle with Canada and the rest of the Pacific north-west region collapsed late on Thursday, dumping several vehicles and the people inside into a river. The four-lane Interstate 5 bridge collapsed about halfway between Seattle and Vancouver, British Columbia, Trooper Mark Francis of the Washington state patrol said. Since last night’s bridge collapse, which at least was no motherfucking Minnesota bridge collapse, Jesus, officials have blamed a truck that was overloaded and ran into one of the bridge’s spans. But shouldn’t a truck NOT be able to take out an interstate highway, unless it is overloaded WITH TERRORISM? Yr Wonkette has a sad over the bridge collapse in Washington State. But if the GOP continues to have a hissyfit anytime anyone wants to spend a dime, even to help with GODDAM TORNADO RELIEF, then this kind of shit will continue to happen. Let’s wonksplore some facts and data about transportation funding (CLICK! It’s not like we are lecturing on the 5th amendment again!) Read more on Austerity Declared Winner In Washington State Bridge Collapse…
  crazy old men

Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It

Sometimes you have to burn the village to save it, every soldier knows that, which means it also totally makes sense that you have to shut down the government and then completely deprive it of revenue to fix it. Hear that? Just SHUT THAT SUCKER DOWN, the economy won’t mind at all. And then when you power it back on, drown it in a bathtub, and this is how we will solve all of our problems. Of course, while it’s down, you might not be able to access certain services you have come to depend on (LOSER!) but guess whose fault it is? OBAMA’s, of course. Here, let John Cornyn (R-Idiot) explain at you: Read more on Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It…
  quiet riots

Angela Merkel Enjoys Traditional Greek Hospitality, Rage

Every crew of friends has its successful members and its fuck-ups. The latter can often be found on the former’s lovely Teutonic couch, sleeping off a long night of getting wasted on ouzo and freak-dancing to the music of Yanni. This is sort of exactly what is happening right now between Germany and Greece, two hardcore straight-up G’s who couldn’t be more different in their approach to fiscal responsibility. While Germany was once upon a time the meanest bitch in high school, she has matured into a lovely young woman who really has her head on straight. Unfortunately, Greece, which showed such amazing promise in nursery school, has degenerated into a hot mess, the kind of gal who stumbles into work two hours late wearing a spanakopita-stained outfit from the day before. Germany is all, “Yeah, you can crash with me, but you’re gonna have to help out around the house and be in by 10 each night” and Greece is all, “You don’t fuckin’ OWN ME! You think you’re better?” and Germany is like, “Noooo…I just, um…I think it’s time someone created some boundaries for you?” All this is just to say that Angie Merkel is in Greece, and the Greeks are not psyched. Read more on Angela Merkel Enjoys Traditional Greek Hospitality, Rage…
  mamma mia!

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Tea Party Lessons For The Whores Of Rome

(Rome) I just finished a perfectly-prepared sardine antipasti, caprese salad, and a plate of grilled calamari. The wine was a Pinot Grigio from the area. Nice. It’s hot as hell here, but a breeze is blowing off Palatine Hill, where Romulus and Remus suckled the she-wolf. When I close my eyes I can almost hear the ancient Romans in the Coliseum cheering as a Christian is eaten by lions. But the only thing being devoured around here these days is the country of Italy itself, in an economic free fall, its middle class chewed up like prosciutto on a dry panini and its hope for the future spoiling like tiramisu in the sun. I’ve been talking to people all over, gondoliers, bartenders, street barkers, nuns. I don’t speak Italian but I find if I talk loud and use a fake Italian accent they understand me perfectly. I keep telling these poor uneducated bastards what we in America have learned from the Tea Party. A country, I explain, is just like a family sitting around the dinner table figuring out its household budget. If the family is spending more than it’s taking in then it’s time for some good, old-fashioned belt-tightening. I tell them, stop being such whiners and get behind the ECB-IMF-Merkel-Tea Party solution of austerity, structural adjustment, and “internal devaluation.” My words are often received with a rousing cheer of, “bafangool!” which means “thank you for the wisdom!” Read more on Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Tea Party Lessons For The Whores Of Rome…
  luntz it up

John Boehner Can Not Believe The Gall Of Barack Obama Wanting A Clean Vote On The Debt Ceiling (VIDEO)

Human tear factory John Boehner is shocked — shocked! — that no-goodnik President Divisive wants a “clean” debt limit increase without matching spending cuts. You perhaps remember that this was a big fucking deal last year when all the Tea Party freshman simultaneously went all bananas on John Boehner’s ass and refused to pay for what Congress had already spent, because that is just good, responsible budgeting like we all do at home, and this caused the nation’s credit to be downgraded to “Gingrich Campaign.” You may also remember that they eventually, after much derping, agreed that there would be a mix of cuts to programs cherished by each side if’n they couldn’t come up with a compromise on their own. They failed, the “sequester” (cuts) was supposed to take effect, and then HEY HOWDY! just a week or so ago they decided that all their side’s cuts would come from the Democrat side of the aisle. That is so weird and totally unexpected! So that is all just “context” for why President The Worst would be all nah John Boehner not this time just raise the fucking debt ceiling no games mang, and now John Boehner, he is breathless with the gall! And that is how it is Barack Obama’s fault that the Republicans in the House will let the nation default! Read more on John Boehner Can Not Believe The Gall Of Barack Obama Wanting A Clean Vote On The Debt Ceiling (VIDEO)…
  eat the rich

Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament

The Land of Newz is all aflutter this morning about the UK’s plunge into a double-dip recession that is the worst since 1975. What is the esteemed Members of Parliament’s solution, in line with their super successful austerity plan? A 20 percent tax on hot pasties, of course. No tax on cold pasties, though. So, phew. STAND DOWN! While London Bridge is falling down, MPs think it’s extremely important to spend their precious time interrogating each other as to the last time they’d eaten a hot pasty or bragging about how tasty was their latest pasty. Meanwhile, enraged Master Bakers and Pasty Makers, gathering at Pudding Lane, will finish their anti-tax protest march today on the steps of Whitehall, hoping that “politicians will be lured by the taste of an authentic Cornish pasty” enough to give pasty pounding peasants a little tax break. As mutton grease dribbles down the triple chins of pasty-patronizing Parliament, and housepersons all over the land are whinging to their neighbors about the pasty outrage, bankers and corporate moguls are laughing their asses off, sipping French champagne and nibbling their tax-free caviar. Why? Because 2011 bank bonuses in the UK were in the billions, the UK’s corporate profitability bounce back in 2010 and 2011 was extraordinary… and globally, “2011 was a banner year for luxury brands, some had more sales and profits than 2007, just before the global financial crisis.” OK, so there was a little slump, which caused some poor jetsetters to suffer: “Now, instead of buying three or four handbags, they might buy one for two-thirds of the value of all four put together.” Read more on Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament…