If you’ve ever dreamed of joining four other random slobs for a very sexy dinner with Sarah Palin and her snowmobile stoner husband Todd, next Tuesday is your lucky day! Maybe. That’s when you can start bidding on the eBay for a special group-food-eating occasion with some unemployed woman in Alaska who — for reasons not even Republicans pretend to understand — was a media celebrity for a few months last year. MORE »

Washington DC teems with glamorous and exciting hotels, such as the Mayflower Hotel, where Eliot Spitzer once famously kept his socks on while he banged a cheaply tattooed former drug addict from New Jersey. The Watergate Hotel is sort of famous, too, for being next door to the Watergate office building. MORE »

A Wonkette St. Louis Radio Spy sends us a thrilling update on the John Ashcroft Saliva Auction, now taken down from eBay because it was too sexy for mainstream tastes. Our dreams of cloning a personal army of Ashcroft Sex Robots is slowly dimming. The sad report straight from a listener’s ears, after the jump. MORE »

Once upon a time John Ashcroft was widely regarded as the worst Attorney General ever, until Alberto Gonzales came along and showed America what a truly terrible Attorney General looked like. And then the news came about Gonzales and some other henchmen going to visit Ashcroft on his deathbed to sign some thing or other, and Ashcroft was like, “Eat a dick, Al,” which temporarily endeared him to the 400 Democrats who care about this stuff. The point is, some dude is auctioning off a glass that Ashcroft once drank out of … and the contents are included. MORE »

A small sample of Duke’s crap — his apartment must’ve looked like an Opium Den.. MORE »