May 21, 2013
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott doesn’t hold with having his state’s elections tampered with. He simply will not have it! And so, in a perfectly reasonable move that is not the least bit dickish or calculated to pander to constituents’ raging xenophobia, he has sent a strongly-worded letter to the Organization for Security and Cooperation [...]
Because of this video of these two guys standing in their silly Halloween costumes in 2008 outside a polling station, they were prosecuted for voter intimidation. BLACK PANTHERS! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN. Yet now that black man Eric Holder (who is A BLACK MAN) is Attorney General, black people can get away with such things, as [...]
Barry Obama’s pick for Deputy Attorney General, David Ogden, apparently “coasted” through his Senate hearing today, which is great news…for John McCain! FOR PORNOGRAPHERS. You see, Ogden’s appointment has come under much wingnut scrutiny in the last several days because Ogden (bless his soul) has served as a successful lawyer for Big Porn, including Playboy [...]
SENATE CONFIRMS HOLDER IN HISTORIC HISTORY VOTE: The Senate voted 75-21 tonight to confirm Establishment Washington lawyer Eric Holder as “the new Alberto Gonzales.” Eric Holder is black, making him the first Marc-Rich-Pardon-Clearing Attorney General in American history. Let’s celebrate by waterboarding Michael Mukasey! [Washington Post]
Hooray for progress! The Senate Judiciary Committee just approved Eric Holder for the Attorney General spot, by 17-2, which means the full Senate will now happily okay his nomination and America will have its first-ever African-American head of the Justice Department. There is a certain justice to this development, MMMHMMM? Anyway let’s hope Holder is [...]
Oh hey look at that, it appears our next Attorney General is not some bilious torture-fetishist sack of ooze! In his testimony before the Senate today, Eric Holder gave answers so unequivocally Soft on Terror that even the most unrepentant liberal of all, Senator Patrick Leahy of the gay marriage state of Vermont, approved.
During his tenure in office, George Bush created more than a housing bubble: he also fostered an “employment bubble” for high-functioning idiots, who were awarded fancy jobs in his administration and have since departed in shame and ignominy. Exhibit A: the hapless cretin, unemployed loser, and only Bush administration toady not to get a zillion [...]
Well phew now everybody can just go back to mocking this guy for being a torture-lovin’ Bush sellout, because that scary incident where Michael Mukasey conked out in the middle of a speech did not signify a stroke or a heart attack or anything serious. He just had what a spokeswoman for the Department of [...]
The new Attorney General for President Hopesalot is Eric Holder, who was the deputy AG back when Bill Clinton was doing whatever slimy stuff, etc., this is what you get, but wait! Doesn’t this character look exactly like a convicted space monster from the early 1980s? Newsweek reporter Michael Isikoff suggests Holder is actually a [...]
Newsweek‘s Michael Isikoff reports that Washington lawyer and former deputy attorney general Eric Holder, who also co-led Obama’s vice presidential selection process, has flushed a Koran down the toilet. No! (Maybe?) But it’s really that Holder will serve as Obama’s attorney general. The first black attorney general ever, and first minority attorney general since the [...]
A Wonkette St. Louis Radio Spy sends us a thrilling update on the John Ashcroft Saliva Auction, now taken down from eBay because it was too sexy for mainstream tastes. Our dreams of cloning a personal army of Ashcroft Sex Robots is slowly dimming. The sad report straight from a listener’s ears, after the jump.
Once upon a time John Ashcroft was widely regarded as the worst Attorney General ever, until Alberto Gonzales came along and showed America what a truly terrible Attorney General looked like. And then the news came about Gonzales and some other henchmen going to visit Ashcroft on his deathbed to sign some thing or other, [...]
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