• Obama is demanding that the companies that received the most bailout money pay their highest-earning employees 10% of what they normally do. [New York Times]
• Oh here’s something new: everyone is worried about getting sick but is too lazy and/or too terrified to actually get a flu shot. [Washington Post]
• The weird Jett Travolta/Bahamas were not really so fun that one time/extortion case has been declared a mistrial. [CNN]
• Terrorists fired mortars at an airport in Somalia in hopes of killing the country’s president as he boarded a plane. They killed 20 people, but none of them were the president. [AP]
• Larry Summers has a good feeling about the the strength of the economy in general and the value of the dollar specifically. [Reuters]
• AT&T is really pulling out all the stops trying to keep this net neutrality thing from happening. [The Hill]

Your telephone company wants the government to forbid you from suing them for cooperating with said government in spying on you. All the lobbyists are Bush family connected, except the ones who are Democrats. But have you seen those new Wes Anderson AT&T ads? [Newsweek]

Do you remember the “grunge music”? It was a short-lived variant of meathead stadium rawk featuring incoherent wails of discontent, terrible music and a sort of homeless-lumberjack-sasquatch costume. Nobody liked it. Anyway, one of the “grunge sensations” was called “Pearl Jam” which, we think, is some sort of piercing-salon slang for ejaculating on the neck of your “old lady” or something. MORE »

Have you heard about the iPhone? It’s a wonderful new invention that lets the NSA illegally record all your phone calls, copy all your contacts, keep records of all your Web and IM activity, watch you through the camera, listen in on your household through the mic, and probably put you in a terrorist no-fly database for listening to Cynthia McKinney singing that stupid Pink song.

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