Tag Archives: atlantic

  family traditions

Rand Paul’s Social Media Dude, The ‘Southern Avenger,’ Surely Only Southern-Avenging Non-Racist Things

After years of lurking in the shadows of his father’s success, Rand Paul has hired a racist, possibly anti-Semitic staffer to wrangle future Rand-tards using the power of the interwebs and help him assemble his own cadre of misguided white people. There is no way that this will end poorly, and soon it will be raining RAND paul-tards, lucky us! Oh, the name of this new staffer? Oh, it’s just the “Southern Avenger,” but don’t worry, he is not avenging anything that could possibly be construed as racist, like say annually raising a toast to John Wilkes Booth, so it’s fine! Read more on Rand Paul’s Social Media Dude, The ‘Southern Avenger,’ Surely Only Southern-Avenging Non-Racist Things…
  more reason for steve king to hide

White People Dying Out, Will Still Own Everything

Mark this day down as a day that will live forever in infamy: the day we started running out of white people. Via the Atlantic: According to a new Census Bureau report, 12,000 more white Americans died than were born between July 1, 2011 and July 1, 2012. As our James Hamblin notes, white deaths haven’t exceeded white births in at least a century. The Caucasian population only expanded thanks to 188,384 immigrants. So there’s still no net decline in white population. But now we gotta bring in ringers. This invites a series of important questions. For example, if white people are no longer a plurality, will America still be the greatest country on earth? (Answer: maybe.)  When there are barely any white people left, will 96% of our Senators still be white? (Answer: probably). Is this Obama’s fault? (Answer: definitely. His election just made white people give up on reproducing.  You could look it up.) Read more on White People Dying Out, Will Still Own Everything…
  wages equal theft

Atlantic Guy Continues To Mansplain Why It’s OK To Work For Free

Well, well, well. First, let us all take a step back and appreciate exactly where we are right now: we are in a place wherein paying people for their work has become a topic worthy of debate and discussion. Let’s just let that soak in for a second: paying people for their work has become a topic worthy of debate and discussion. See, for example, Alexis C. Madrigal’s frantic tweets wherein he tries to defend the system at the Atlantic and explain to us what it is like to work for a digital newspaper. Thanks Alexis C. Madrigal, it is duly noted! Shall we examine this long post wherein Alexis C. Madrigal talks about why it is OK for other people (not him) to not get paid for their work? Sure, let’s do that! Read more on Atlantic Guy Continues To Mansplain Why It’s OK To Work For Free…
  let them eat exposure

Here, Let the Atlantic Explain At You About Why They Do Not Pay People For Their Work

Ha! Ha! Ha! Here, let us enjoy this fun exchange between a freelance journalist and a representative of the Atlantic, wherein Global Editor Olga Khazan asks a freelance journalist if he would mind, you know, giving her a thousand words? To post on the Atlantic’s website? Which — in case you don’t know — reaches about 13 million readers per month? Oh, and could he by any chance do it for free? Well, not for FREE per se, he will be paid in Exposure, which is almost as good as being paid in actual money. You see, even though the Atlantic reaches 13 million readers per month, they cannot possibly afford to pay him money for his work, that would be SILLY. Read more on Here, Let the Atlantic Explain At You About Why They Do Not Pay People For Their Work…
  communists under the bed

Communists At The Atlantic Blame America First

One of us! One of us! We never thought we’d see the day, but the Atlantic, fresh off a story kind of blaming workers for killing a company already in bankruptcy, has published a piece decrying the unfair distribution of American riches and arguing that Job Creators should maybe cough up some tip money so Olds can see the doctor here and there. This piece has been published just in time, because you may refer to it when you inevitably get into an argument about politics tomorrow with a loved one who wants Waitress Moms to sling hash until the age of 70 because “Americans are living longer” and “we can’t afford it” and whatnot. But au contraire, we CAN afford it and also, welcome to the Liberal Elite, Atlantic, and also, some thoughts on why entitlements might be suddenly in need of “reform”… Read more on Communists At The Atlantic Blame America First…
  journamalism

‘The Atlantic’ Finds Hostess’s Real Victims: Private Equity Guys Who Will Probably Lose Their Investment

Now that the Hostess closure has begun to affect all of us, Jordan Weissman of The Atlantic will discuss what’s really important here, namely: whose fault it is. And duh, of course it was not the Bain-style “private equity” managers for loading the shitty snack cake company up with debt and then legitimately raping it with management fees; no, it is only their fault for making “poor decisions,” mostly the decisions to only slash union workers pay “a lot” instead of “maquiladora-style.” Read more on ‘The Atlantic’ Finds Hostess’s Real Victims: Private Equity Guys Who Will Probably Lose Their Investment…
  the hack and the mustache tree

The Atlantic Hiring 29 Journalists and an Idiot

The media industry has fully recovered, as evidenced by this job listing seeking thirty (30!) journalists at the Atlantic Media Group. But Atlantic Media Group’s National Journal just got rid of thirty (30!) journalists through buyouts, so the net gain of Journalism Jobs is zero (0). Still, this is enough for a shitty trend column by banal global golfer and language rapist Tom Friedman. Wait a minute, that’s just what The Atlantic needs! Read more on The Atlantic Hiring 29 Journalists and an Idiot…
  the most important annual weekend for every citizen

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid BlackBerry & Polaroid Photos From Correspondents’ Dinner-Related Parties

There was no news this weekend. The only thing that happened was that a local trade association held its annual banquet, which, for some reason (shameless prostitution) the entire American media establishment had to attend. Jay Leno, also. And even your Wonkette was invited to a couple of parties, pre- and post-dinner, and we are nothing if not whores. Now let’s look at some crappy photos, for it’s your Wonkette’s annual White House Trade Association Photo Tour! We’ll explain the above wiggered-out Rush Limbaugh-y thing with the purple ladies and orange furry in due time. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid BlackBerry & Polaroid Photos From Correspondents’ Dinner-Related Parties…
 

Some Strange Website Is Yelling Mean Things About Your Editor

We have been drawn, via our referrals, to some new thing called the Atlantic Wire, which tells you what every pundit and blogger is writing about at all times! It is the anti-porn. But “incoherence” is our goal here, so thank you weird new hyperspeed Atlantic thing! [Atlantic Wire] Read more on Some Strange Website Is Yelling Mean Things About Your Editor…
  important economic analysis

EVERYONE CHUG THIS CUP OF SADNESS: Here’s a great and brilliant article from the new Atlantic about how the United States is a banana republic after years of terrible policies and stuff. It is probably too long for “blog readers” so just read a paragraph or two every night before sleep and someday you’ll finish! Also, Newsweek has a cover story about how Paul Krugman hates Obama but remains LOYAL for he is the king, after all. It includes a very funny picture of Krugman complaining about the rain. [Atlantic, Newsweek] Read more on …
  children

Palin’s Doodle Sheet Intended To Be Campaign Poster, HEGHH?

TNR’s Noam Scheiber has more on that clutch Sarah Palin doodle sheet he found in Wasilla, the one with all the pretty scribble-scrabble — you know, the type of thing parents tell their autistic children to make so that they can relax and drink scotch for an hour. Apparently that doodle sheet wasn’t just brainstorming — she told her mayoral “campaign manager” that it was an actual DRAFT for a campaign poster. Just words and shit everywhere! Obviously this didn’t come to fruition, but the unreadable doodle sheet would later inspire a cover of The Atlantic magazine. [TNR] Read more on Palin’s Doodle Sheet Intended To Be Campaign Poster, HEGHH?…
  what has been seen cannot be unseen

Scary McCain Photos Will Scare You

Jill Greenberg is that photographer who takes pictures of monkeys and crying babies all the time, which was why she seemed like a natural fit for John McCain’s Atlantic cover. But it turns out she is a big fat libtard, so she tricked John McCain into various unflattering positions during his photo shoot — including making him sit under the head of a pooping monkey. Ha ha we kid, she accomplished that feat with Photoshop, which was still not up to the task of making John McCain look like a human in his “flattering” cover photo. Anyway click here (note: banner ads above some images are for NSFW type sites) for more outtakes that are making the people who hired her for this shoot all kinds of mad. Photo via Imagebam. [New York Post] Read more on Scary McCain Photos Will Scare You…
  self-parody watch

Mark Penn Column: Satan Is A Cool Guy, Once You Get To Know Him

A day after the Atlantic released tons of confidential memos and e-mails that, yet again, proved Hillary Clinton’s former chief strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn kills puppies for bloodsport, the Politico has comically published an op-ed from this very same Mark Penn, entitled, “Negative ads: They really do work.” Christ, Mark, we get it; Wolfson and Grunwald and Ickes were silly sallies who kept spoiling your hellish strategy for charred victory. But that doesn’t mean you have to write some creepy op-ed in the damn Politico every three hours! Seriously, creepy — in this op-ed, Penn reveals how he and Bill Clinton used to stalk people at the mall in 1996. Read more on Mark Penn Column: Satan Is A Cool Guy, Once You Get To Know Him…
 

Sam Donaldson Is Hilarious

newVideoPlayer("sam.flv", 463,387,"");Do you know what we miss? We miss Sam Donaldson yelling questions at Ronald Reagan, and telling weird stories, and doing his “webcast” at the Republican and Democratic presidential conventions in 2000. Here, our own Liz Glover asks Sam to tell some stories, and good lord, does he oblige. This was at the Michael Kelly Awards over at the Atlantic Monthly’s office on Thursday night. (Yes we know Donaldson is on ABC’s This Week but we never wake up in time for that, due to booze.) Read more on Sam Donaldson Is Hilarious…
 

Possible Clinton Ohio Victory Offends Internet

Hillary is up to her same old self-serving Rovian tricks, and the Internet is furious. She had the gall today to lead new polls in Ohio, where it’s starting to look like she’ll pull off a victory. Can you believe she would do this to Barack Obama? Take a poll that he was probably winning by 30 points, hack into the survey database with bribes, and readjust it to show herself winning? This Clinton will stop at nothing to continue running for president, even if it means taking the lead in a poll. Fortunately, some bloggers will not sit quietly and watch democracy fall apart like this. Read more on Possible Clinton Ohio Victory Offends Internet…
 

A Variety of Fabricated Reasons That Al Gore Wants To Endorse Obama

Al Gore has said he won’t endorse a primary candidate. Before that, he said he wouldn’t be coaxed into running for president. He has said each of these 600 million times, and still, some people still think he might jump into the presidential race if they kiss his Global feet a few more times. But internet petitioners aside, let’s look at internet writers: They assume that Al Gore wants to endorse Obama, but he’s just too scared or respectful or something. Read more on A Variety of Fabricated Reasons That Al Gore Wants To Endorse Obama…
 

Andrew Sullivan Praises Obama For Being Young-ish

The December issue of The Atlantic hits newsstands across the galaxy November 20th, within which Andrew Sullivan has penned his pseudo-hyped first cover story for the magazine since leaving Time earlier this year. Congrats, Andy! And way to be modest and not horribly self-indulgent. For example, check out this nuanced approach to the upcoming election: “It is a war about war–and about culture and about religion and about race. And in that war, Obama–and Obama alone–offers the possibility of a truce.” Yikes! Read more on Andrew Sullivan Praises Obama For Being Young-ish…