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Tag: atlanta

Kellyanne Conway Triggered By John Lewis, Needs Safe Space Like Five Minutes Ago

Kellyanne Conway says the Trump camp is the 'Walking Wounded,' because everybody is so mean to them. Really.

Donald Trump Picked A Fight With Legislative Badass John Lewis. It Wasn’t His First Mistake

Donald Trump tweeted out a tantrum after John Lewis called said he was not legitimate.
we're from the wall street and we're here to help

Wall Street Landlords Making Tenants Yearn For Creepy, Negligent Archetypes of Yore

The rent? It's JUST RIGHT! LOLOLOL just kidding it is too damn high.
Sit on it and spin, you orange baboon.

Donald Trump Loves The Gays So Much He Wants Them To Go Outside On This Nice Day

We sent Major Major Major Major to the Donald Trump Howler Monkey Circus stop in Atlanta! Word poop was flung!

Worst Restaurant Customers Ever Start Brawl Over Employee Smiling At Them

We write a lot about terrible restaurant customers; it's kind of our thing. We would venture to suggest ours is somewhat of an expert opinion on this particular subject. As such, understand what it means when we say we...

Stories Of Truly Fantastic Restaurant Bosses

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. For our last Wonkette Off The Menu, we bring you stories of fantastic restaurant managers and where to find...
They call themselves His People. Weird.

Jesus-Loving Cop Fired, Just For Loving Jesus Too Much

Know that thing when you are driving down the interstate in Indiana on the way to the big sale at the Big Lots, and you're late? So you figure, whatever, I will drive a little faster, because big sales...

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...

Pat Robertson Doesn’t Understand Why NFL Loves Georgia Buttsex So Much

America's senile grandpa Pat Robertson is having a confuseness in his brain. You see, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal (The Republican) announced that he would veto HB 757, a bill to protect the "religious freedom" of dongweasel lunatic fundamentalist Christians...
Who ya got?

Who Would Donald Trump Like To Punch In The Face Today?

Donald Trump, the man who's working hard to make hyperbole redundant, is at it again. At a rally in Las Vegas Monday, the short-fingered fascist wannabe expressed disappointment at the climate of political correctness that won't allow him to...
The rapper at rest

Ben Carson Hip Hip Hops And He Don’t Stop

It seems gravy shart Jonah Goldberg's Theory Of Ben Carson's Blackness has been proven wise beyond its author's wildest imagination! Yes, Ben Carson -- who according to hip-hop expert Goldberg is so much blacker than Barack Obama he cannot EVEN...
Scene may have looked like this.

Florida Frat Shut Down, Just For Whizzing On Flags And Cussing Disabled Veterans

And now for a dispatch from the "what kind of entitled, malcontent douchenozzle shit are America's fraternity boys getting into these days?" file! So this fraternity at the University of Florida, Zeta Beta Tau, was having its spring formal in...
omg, y'all, I cannot even with this "religious freedom" crap.

Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT

Today in religiously freedoming The Gays, we are hearing about the martyrdom of Atlanta Ex-Fire Chief and Soldier of Our Lord Kelvin Cochran, who was fired either for being a Christian hero for perpetual non-gay straightness, or for being...
And Billo was one of the more restrained ones

How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)

While Parisians took to the streets with their "Je Suis Charlie" signs yesterday to quietly express solidarity with the murdered satirists and bystanders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the American Wingnut-Industrial Complex was in Full Panic Mode, explaining...
You just can't go wrong with Chief Wiggum

Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times

The police chief of Peachtree City, Georgia, accidentally shot his wife early in the morning of New Year's Day. Initial reports of the shooting had said that Chief William E. McCollom had shot Margaret McCollom twice, which really would...
These new advisors will definitely tighten things up

It’s Cool, Secret Service Just Let President Ride Elevator With Twitchy Felon With Gun, No Big

Say, have you noticed that the Secret Service really seems to suck lately? This is what we hear, at least, what with the letting a guy jump the fence and then take a self-guided tour of the White House,...