Tag Archives: atlanta

  these boys seem nice

Florida Frat Shut Down, Just For Whizzing On Flags And Cussing Disabled Veterans

Scene may have looked like this.
And now for a dispatch from the “what kind of entitled, malcontent douchenozzle shit are America’s fraternity boys getting into these days?” file! So this fraternity at the University of Florida, Zeta Beta Tau, was having its spring formal in Panama City Beach, Florida, at the same resort that was hosting the Warrior Beach Retreat, which, according to its website, is a gathering intended to give our disabled veterans a damn week off to relax in the Florida sunshine. So, of course the frat boys thought it would be a good idea to get shithoused drunk and piss all over the vets’ American flags, all while cussing at them: Read more on Florida Frat Shut Down, Just For Whizzing On Flags And Cussing Disabled Veterans…
  Because The Gays are the real terrorists

Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT

omg, y'all, I cannot even with this
Today in religiously freedoming The Gays, we are hearing about the martyrdom of Atlanta Ex-Fire Chief and Soldier of Our Lord Kelvin Cochran, who was fired either for being a Christian hero for perpetual non-gay straightness, or for being a problem employee with abhorrent views who didn’t follow procedure concerning Atlanta public officials who write books, you decide. Let’s freedomsplore! Last fall, Cochran wrote a book entitled Who Told You That You Were Naked. Someone at ThinkProgress seems to have taken one for the team, hooray, and read parts of it, hopefully aloud to a laughing, jeering audience. Read more on Atlanta Fire Chief Simply Does Not Care For Gay People, Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  Derp Overload

How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)

And Billo was one of the more restrained ones
While Parisians took to the streets with their “Je Suis Charlie” signs yesterday to quietly express solidarity with the murdered satirists and bystanders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the American Wingnut-Industrial Complex was in Full Panic Mode, explaining exactly why we all need to pay attention to this horrific terrorist act by three people that all Muslims bear responsibility for. Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly actually offered one of the tamer bits of stupid on the attack, complaining that when he condemned the murders, Barack Obama was actually downplaying the Muslim threat. The president had expressed confidence that France’s commitment to freedom of speech “is something that can’t be silenced by the senseless violence of the few.” Ah, but Mr. Obama has it all wrong, said O’Reilly: Read more on How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)…
  2015 Looking A Lot like 2014

Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times

You just can't go wrong with Chief Wiggum
The police chief of Peachtree City, Georgia, accidentally shot his wife early in the morning of New Year’s Day. Initial reports of the shooting had said that Chief William E. McCollom had shot Margaret McCollom twice, which really would be a hell of an accident, but a correction issued by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation clarified that the “initial reports that we got from the 911 call” were in error. Chief McCollum had called 911 to report that he’d shot his wife, but it’s unclear whether the inaccurate report of two shots came from him or the 911 dispatcher. We guess in all the excitement, he kind of lost track himself. Read more on Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times…
  In The Line Of Ire

It’s Cool, Secret Service Just Let President Ride Elevator With Twitchy Felon With Gun, No Big

These new advisors will definitely tighten things up
Say, have you noticed that the Secret Service really seems to suck lately? This is what we hear, at least, what with the letting a guy jump the fence and then take a self-guided tour of the White House, the news that their forensics skills were outclassed by the housekeeping staff, and now this latest jaw-dropper, the news that President Obama rode in an elevator with a guy who had several convictions for assault and battery, and also, oh yes, a gun that Secret Service agents didn’t know about. While Obama visited the CDC in Atlanta last month, a private security guy hopped on an elevator along with the President and his Secret Service detail: Read more on It’s Cool, Secret Service Just Let President Ride Elevator With Twitchy Felon With Gun, No Big…
  Freakoutbreak

Obama Declares War On Ebola. Wingnuts Discover Ebola Just Misunderstood.

You can always find a scary Obama image, no matter the topic
The U.S. government will be sending 3,000 troops to West Africa to help build treatment centers and coordinate services in the fight against the Ebola outbreak. President Obama announced the initiative during a visit to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta Tuesday. The deployment will be done in coordination with the World Health Organization and will be centered in Liberia, where the virus has hit the hardest. The U.S. effort will build 17 treatment centers in that country and will eventually be training 500 healthcare workers a week in patient care and in sanitary procedures to prevent the spread of the virus. America will also be distributing sanitation kits to affected families and, sad part, distributing over 5000 body bags to municipal health authorities. Still, good on us! Read more on Obama Declares War On Ebola. Wingnuts Discover Ebola Just Misunderstood….
  It's Definitely Not About Race

Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People

Frank Millar's nightmare
Republican Georgia state Sen. Fran Millar knows what elections are about. Elections are about winning. They are NOT, however, about letting just anybody vote, especially if they comprise the majority in a particular part of Atlanta, if you get his drift. Actually you don’t need to get his drift, because he just says it openly: Millar has vowed to end early voting at a DeKalb County polling place that simply has too many blacks in the neighborhood. Read more on Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People…
  way down south where the timecube goes

Your Southern Snowghazi Conspiracy Theory: It’s Not Snow, It’s Chemtrails! Or Soylent Snow!

Lest you might worry that in today’s modern society of today, people are so jaded by technology and science that they have lost their sense of wonder and capacity to be amazed, watch this video of a South Carolina woman investigating for herself the strange properties of the alleged “snow” that fell on her area last week. Unlike normal snow, which people hold butane lighters up to all the time, this stuff doesn’t melt! In fact, it turns black and smells bad, like burning plastic. Or maybe burning butane! And so we have to ask: What is Obama up to? Read more on Your Southern Snowghazi Conspiracy Theory: It’s Not Snow, It’s Chemtrails! Or Soylent Snow!…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Points And Laughs At Atlanta’s 2 Inches, ‘Bad Boy Journalist’ Thinks Seasons Disprove Climate Change

The Atlanta snowstorm spawned many Larger Points, from the incompetence of local — or all — government to Internet Opinion about climate change (real/bogus/not involved). Jon Stewart notes that “weather forecasts” could have helped Atlanta, and rightwing pundit Jason Mattera tweeted that dumb liberals just don’t know about Earth’s seasons, so “global” warming is nonsense somehow. And yes, he was completely serious. Read more on Jon Stewart Points And Laughs At Atlanta’s 2 Inches, ‘Bad Boy Journalist’ Thinks Seasons Disprove Climate Change…
  danger zone

Airplane Baby-Slapper Sentenced To Eight Months In Federal Prison, Still Not Racist At All

So here is a tale of justice of sorts: Joe Rickey Hundley, the former executive from Idaho who slapped a crying toddler on a Delta flight as it was on approach to Atlanta last February, has been sentenced to eight months in federal prison for the assault. He had pleaded guilty in October in a plea bargain that was supposed to have given him a six-month sentence, but the judge gave Hundley more time because he had a previous criminal history including an assault. And also, who the hell slaps a baby and yells “shut that n****r baby up” while doing it? Oh yes: this guy. Read more on Airplane Baby-Slapper Sentenced To Eight Months In Federal Prison, Still Not Racist At All…
  some room at the inn

Nice Time! Atlanta Hotel Rewards Homeless Guy For Wallet Return, Doesn’t Smash His Belongings Or Anything!

A homeless man in Atlanta, Georgia, is being rewarded for the basic decency he exhibited a couple weeks ago, when he found a French woman’s wallet in a trash can while looking for food. He checked several downtown Atlanta hotels before staff at the Omni Hotel found that the woman, Anne Drouart, was staying there. After a highly publicized search, the good guy, Joel Hartman, was found Friday and is staying in the Omni gratis until the day after Thanksgiving; the hotel is also giving him a $500 cash reward and free room service during his stay, including a Thanksgiving dinner. We’re also hoping that maybe someone at the hotel thought to call a social worker? So rejoice, America! Homelessness is over! Read more on Nice Time! Atlanta Hotel Rewards Homeless Guy For Wallet Return, Doesn’t Smash His Belongings Or Anything!…
  picked the wrong week to not give up being racist

Man Who Slapped Black Baby On Plane Pleads Guilty, Still Definitely Not Racist

We suppose this may count as Nice Time, or at least Better Than Nothing Time: that guy from Idaho who slapped a toddler on an airliner while yelling “shut that n****r baby up” back in February, pleaded guilty in federal court yesterday. Joe Rickey Hundley agreed to a plea deal with prosecutors in which he could serve up to six months in federal prison, instead of a maximum one-year term he would have faced if he had gone to trial and lost. But you see, there were mitigating factors! Hundley and his lawyer admit that “alcohol may have been a factor,” but they are very sure that mostly it happened because Hundley was not himself because his son was dying. We are genuinely sorry for his loss, but are not quite sure that the scientific literature demonstrates a strong correlation between grief and shouting “shut that n****r baby up” while slapping a 19-month-old. We should probably study up on that. Read more on Man Who Slapped Black Baby On Plane Pleads Guilty, Still Definitely Not Racist…
  democracy is for suckers

Jimmy Carter Says NSA Surveillance Has Killed Democracy; Didn’t Notice Other Suspects Holding Bloody Axes (Updated)

Jimmy Carter, your Wonkette’s favorite elder statesman, caused a bit of a kerfuffle with statements made at a closed-door event in Atlanta for an Atlantic Bridge meeting:  “Amerika hat derzeit keine funktionierende Demokratie”, sagte Carter am Dienstag bei einer Veranstaltung der “Atlantik-Brücke” in Atlanta. No, the kerfuffle was not caused by Jimmy Carter speaking German at the Atlantic Bridge meeting; it is in German because no American press outlets showed up to cover the event. The kerfuffle resulted from the English translation of Der Spiegel‘s German translation of Jimmy Carter’s speech, as well as the context within which it was said. From HuffPo: Former President Jimmy Carter announced support for NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden this week, saying that his uncovering of the agency’s massive surveillance programs had proven “beneficial” … “America does not have a functioning democracy at this point in time,” Carter said, according to a translation by Inquisitr. UPDATED BELOW: Would you believe Jimmy Carter’s cool grandson, JE Carter IV, says nuh uh, never happened? Read more on Jimmy Carter Says NSA Surveillance Has Killed Democracy; Didn’t Notice Other Suspects Holding Bloody Axes (Updated)…
  that's not racial transcendence

It Is Cute When White People Try To Have Thoughts About Slavery

A guest post from your comrade Gary Legum. Here is the sum total of facts your Wonket knows about Emory University: it is located in Atlanta, and Emory’s current president, one James Wagner, is dumber than a bag of hammers. Okay, perhaps that last one is more opinion than fact. Here, let us read this stupid thing he wrote about how awesome the Three-Fifths Compromise was, enshrining the unequalness of all God’s created men right thar in Jesus’s Amercia Bible, to see if we change our minds! Read more on It Is Cute When White People Try To Have Thoughts About Slavery…
  hot pix

A Children’s Treasury Of Dancing And Hijinks From Your Atlanta Drinky Thing

Atlanta, dear Wonkadoos, was a compleat treat. About a dozen hardy lovers came from all over the South — one young miss from Birmingham! — to drink our beer and eat our vittles. And every one a peach! As usual, we will not be identifying the beautiful peoples in our party pix, but they may do so if they choose, in the comments. EXCEPT! We will ID TTommyUnger, who is the sexy old beast in the black mustache, because we must talk about his wife! Now. You never know what’s going to happen when someone brings a wife. Maybe she will be unhappy with our crude, vulgar, libtard ways! Sure, he hangs out in biker bars, but maybe they lead separate lives and she knits muffins with her High Baptist Ladies Auxiliary (we understand this is what they do in the genteel South). Nope. Melanie proceeded to regale us with tales of waving her titanium .38 at any ol’ motherfuckers who wanted to cut her off in traffic, and also some good ones about Jimmy Carter at church. So Melanie is our newest lady love, and she’s packing heat. Party people after the jump! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Dancing And Hijinks From Your Atlanta Drinky Thing…
  we don't know nothin about birthin no babies

Why, Don’t Forget Your Atlanta And Charlotte Drinky Things And Meets-Up, You Sweet Ol’ Thing!

Well fiddle dee dee, here is your gentle reminder that our Atlanta Drinky Thing is this very ol’ evenin’, right there at Manuel’s, and we shall commence at let’s say sixish! Read more on Why, Don’t Forget Your Atlanta And Charlotte Drinky Things And Meets-Up, You Sweet Ol’ Thing!…
  fight for your right to party!

Your Wonkette Drinky Thing Party Planner (And Prizes!)

Remember when we made our own fake Kickstarter, because the real Kickstarter did not think that going around the country throwing parties was “performance art”? (WHATEVER.) Well, we promised you many gifties, which we have yet to deliver, so let us tell you News about them, and announce who won the chance to decide where the bonus Drinky Thing would be! Read more on Your Wonkette Drinky Thing Party Planner (And Prizes!)…
  paint this norman rockwell

America, 2011: ‘Women Fight With Police At IHOP As Boba Fett Looks On’

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the fight started around 4 AM on Sunday when an off-duty police officer apparently working at the Buckhead, GA IHOP “shouted at a woman sitting in the corner of a booth near the door and then he lunged at her.” A second woman got involved — the officer punched her in the face, they continued to scuffle, and she was eventually arrested. Read more on America, 2011: ‘Women Fight With Police At IHOP As Boba Fett Looks On’…
  celebrating local commerce

Braves Manager Bobby Cox Honored By Capitol Hill Pervs

Baseball manager Bobby Cox of the Atlanta Braves is finally retiring at the end of this year, after winning so many baseball games. He came to Capitol Hill on Tuesday for a reception, with cake, thrown by Sens. Rockefeller and Isakson. (Rockefeller doesn’t even represent Georgia! He is just a Rockefeller and can do anything he wants.) But then the cake said “Cocks,” a funny word meaning penises or chickens. Bobby Cox was so personally offended that he murdered everyone in the entire United States Capitol, with his cock. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution] Read more on Braves Manager Bobby Cox Honored By Capitol Hill Pervs…
  and yet the orca lives

HORRIBLE BUMMER: The Africkan Creature that ran through the streets of Atlanta on one memorable rush hour not too long ago has been put down. Apparently he messed up his hooves on his crazy walkabout, and they could not be fixed, and so he was killt. SAD. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution] Read more on …
  important things that happened yesterday

2/18/10, NEVER FORGET: Yesterday, while Austin residents freaked out about the anti-tax nut cleverly flying his plane into the IRS breakroom while all the auditors were out of the office, Atlanta confronted an even greater horror: a zebra on the loose and just goin’ nuts downtown, on the freeway, during rush hour. Best sentence in this article: “He looked outside and saw an African creature running down the pavement.” [Atlanta Journal-Constitution] Read more on …