Wonkette

America’s favorite buzzkills — the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives — have launched a new advertising campaign in public schools in Tennessee that is sure to stop HOPPED-UP DRUG GUN BUNNIES from shooting their frienemies. The slogan for a series of posters reads, “Be Cool… Don’t Let Guns Rule.” Now all of Tennessee’s public school students are smoking cigarettes, which remains a vital ingredient of Being Cool. [CNS News]

Former ATF director Carl Truscott’s vision of the future ATF headquarters. MORE »

• Washington Monthly’s 2nd annual college rankings are out. MIT is number one. [Political Animal]
• A $65,000 conference table planned for new Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives HQ. [TPMMuckraker]
• People read WP’s Express. [Romenesko]

* As a resident in the state of Pennsylvania, I want to take this opportunity on behalf of all Pennsylvanians to say…. HELP! PLEASE! CALL THE UN! CALL IN THE NATIONAL GUARD! ORGANIZE SOME SORT OF COMMISSION! PLEASE HELP US! It’s bad enough that we have to deal with Santorum’s crazy ass, but Chris Matthews? If that were to happen I would have to give up all hope and move to Jersey *shiver*
* The whole Katherine Harris things is starting to make me feel dirty.
* Someone should seriously start something called “WonkettePAC,” whereby we raise money then go around supporting only the most bat-shit-crazy pols. Seriously, it would do a lot for democracy by making it a hell of a lot more entertaining. Just imagine… a country with more Ada Smiths, Cynthia McKinneys, and… dare I wish… Rep. Adele Fergusens???
* AAAAHHH! That iFrist graphic IS NOT A SPOOF, REPEAT, NOT A SPOOF! IT’S ACTUALLY FROM FRIST’S WEBSITE! Which also ACTUALLY USES THE WORD “IFRIST!” Sweet Jesus, I hope Steve Jobs sues.
* The funny thing is (and I know this because I’m the dude in the blue shirt/grey slacks pretending to send text message in order to get closer to the action) through the whole takedown, the ninja just kept repeating “My hair is not an issue. And it shouldn’t be an issue.” over and over again.
* [The entire Brian Doyle post comments clusterfuck is worth your perusal, but we particularly liked:]*taps nose twice to alert FBI. Does a double ear-lobe pull and nods in the general direction of illotus and his explorer “history” file.
* i guess the atf votes pirate?

When you invite the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms onto your college campus, well, you just gotta expect they’ll eventually tackle a student who happens to be dressed as a ninja. No use getting so worked up about it. Still, it provides us with additional insight into the life of your typical ATF employee. We can’t decide which is more fitting, this:

Or this:
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A couple of your comments that made us laugh, made us cry, and, most importantly, made us think. MORE »

We don’t know what it has to do with teaching kids about the proper disposal of Nuclear Waste, but the Yucca Mountain Youth Zone has some sort of flash game that has kept us distracted and unable to work for like an hour now. The first Federal Government Website for Kids that Mom and Dad can enjoy too? MORE »

There was DHS, then FEMA, perennial favorite the NRO, the brilliant artistry of the USDA, and eventually our frenemies overseas joined in with Captain Hamad and the cutest martyr in Palestine.

But all must take a backseat to the awesomeness of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms kids website. Not because it has a funny mascot, or cats in rocketships, or human-animal hybrids, or even because it’s very good — it was clearly thrown together in 20 minutes by a guy with no web design experience. No, because it has pictures, drawn by kids, depicting what they think their ATF agent parents do.

There are a shitload more after the jump. Why? Because we love you.

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* NSA obtained cooperation of top telecoms for warrentless eavesdropping. [USAT]
* Democrats appear “poised to gain seats” in November — the fight is over how many; new machine ballots may create havoc on election day. [WP, USAT]
* House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) opposes “far-reaching” restrictions on lobbying. Boehner: “Bringing more transparency to this relationship, I think, is the best way to control it. But taking actions to ban this and ban that, when there’s no appearance of a problem, there’s no foundation of a problem, I think, in fact, does not serve the institution well.” [WP, LAT]
* Director of the ATF blamed for spending funds on unnecessary upgrades as basic needs are unmet; $65,000 conference table raises eyebrows. [WP]
* Senior official on the inevitability of Iran’s nuclear capacities: “Sooner or later, it’s going to happen. Our job is to make sure it’s later.” [NYT]

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