Tonight through Saturday, August, 1: If you’ve ever wanted to pretend you were Christopher Walken, or contemplate good versus evil using only pantomime, or if you just like watching people attempt to be funny on the spot (and then laugh at them when they don’t succeed), go to the Improvapalooza at the Source theater this weekend — 85 shows and 16 hours of comedic genius (hopefully) for just $10 a day. [The Washington Improv Theater] MORE »

A gaggle of DJs will be descending upon Asylum tonight, courtesy of RipOFF, for the “Totally Fucked Party.” Though dance parties are not exactly a rare occurrence in DC, this one is special in that it provides to you, the dancer, free beer! MORE »

Thursday, March 12: Dance night Shorts is back at Asylum. All you have to do is wear a pair of shorts — short-shorts, jorts, daisy dukes, swim trunks, whatever — and you’re in. DJ Gavin Holland of Nouveau Riche will be spinning 80s muzak and there will be a ball pit. [Asylum] MORE »

Dinosaur Jr.’s J. Mascis plays DC-9 with his side band Witch. In true side-project tradition, he’s tossed the feedback-heavy guitar for which he’s best known and picked up moody drumming instead.  MORE »

OMG WTF OCTOBER SURPRISE everybody!!! Barack Obama has a number of paternal relatives, many of whom he has met once or not at all, because they come from a secret Marxist madrassa in the foreign city of Kenya, Africa. One of his Kenyan relatives is an aunt whom he has actually met a couple of times! She came to his swearing-in in the Senate in 2004 and has been living in Boston for a while, although he hasn’t heard from her for about two years. MORE »