NOW GO MAKE BEAUTIFUL SPACE BABIES: The two non-diapered members of the Astronaut Love Triangle have gotten engaged, while the nappied hypotenuse awaits her December trial. This is the most important news in the history of space exploration, aside from that time NASA filmed the fake moon landing at an abandoned Encino drive-in. Congratulations to the happy couple, Bill Oefelein and Colleen Shipman, who now live in Alaska. [Reliable Source]

This week we’ve learned that some NASA dork sabotaged a computer bound for the International Space Station, another NASA crook stole $150,000 from the space agency, and that the astronuts at NASA have repeatedly piloted the space shuttles while drunk — which may explain why 40% of the shuttles have crashed. And we learned all of this before today’s NASA press conference about all the whacked-out shit NASA has been doing instead of sending spaceships to other planets so we can escape this world before the aliens attack. MORE »

Here we see Florida Senator and Astronut Bill Nelson tell his Senate colleagues about the good old days. MORE »

Diaper-clad nutbucket Lisa Nowak isn’t just proof that even America’s astronauts are deranged creeps — she’s also a shining tribute to being born and raised in the DC metropolitan area! MORE »