Asteroid Will Kill Everybody … Except the Bushes, In Paraguay
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
While everybody was enjoying the nice three-day weekend, the Main Stream Media announced that we’re all going to be blown up or drowned by a terrible asteroid named Apophis — that’s also the Greek name for the demon monster god of Ancient Egypt who devours all that is good and hides in the eternal evil darkness and commands an army of demons who plague mankind. (If you’re confused, just remember that Cheney is an earth monster and Apophis is a space monster.)
But there’s a chance of survival if you’re in the right place … say, shielded from the massive tsunami by the wall of the Andes and perched atop the world’s largest fresh-water aquifer. You know, where the Bushes and Rev. Sun Myung Moon bought all that land in Paraguay! Read the latest chapter in the Weirdest Story Ever Told, after the jump.
While everybody was enjoying the nice three-day weekend, the Main Stream Media announced that we’re all going to be blown up or drowned by a terrible asteroid named Apophis — that’s also the Greek name for the demon monster god of Ancient Egypt who devours all that is good and hides in the eternal evil darkness and commands an army of demons who plague mankind. (If you’re confused, just remember that Cheney is an earth monster and Apophis is a space monster.)
But there’s a chance of survival if you’re in the right place … say, shielded from the massive tsunami by the wall of the Andes and perched atop the world’s largest fresh-water aquifer. You know, where the Bushes and Rev. Sun Myung Moon bought all that land in Paraguay! Read the latest chapter in the Weirdest Story Ever Told, after the jump.
