Tag: associated press

AP Retracts Story Claiming Terry McAuliffe Did A Fraud Because He Did Not Do The Fraud

It's perfectly understandable how someone might see the initials "TM" on a legal document and instantly think "candidate for governor of Virginia and former Clinton jerk Terry McAuliffe!" and then write a widely circulated story about how Terry McAuliffe...

Justice Department Gets All Nixony Up In AP

The Associated Press reports that the Justice Department "secretly obtained two months of telephone records" of its reporters and editors in what appears to be an attempt to discover the identity of a leaker. Not to stop a terrorist...

America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs

Today is a sad day for Americans because we are losing a quintessentially American dessert, maybe forever. This is mostly the fault of commie liberal "labor" unions who have the NERVE to demand a living wage for their work,...

Sad Face: Wonkette Bread And Butter Michele Bachmann May Be In Trouble

We'd really hate to jinx anything, so we are typing this with our fingers crossed: America's Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins), despite the advantages of a fanatical national following and a very conservative district, just might not be...

Michelle Obama’s Trip to Target Was Basically a Lie

Our FLOTUS is very fortunate, because there is no Wall Street Insanity, in her world. Michelle Obama lives a much calmer existence, in a place where simple questions ("Where do fat people come from?") have simple answers ("Arby's")....

CNBC Publishes Secret AP Election Results; Republicans Lose

What's the New World Order/Nobama got in store for the Teabaggers on Election Night? Nothing but pain, if these leaked Election 2010 results are to be trusted -- and they are "not to be published or broadcast" until the...

DOES ANYONE DETECT A TOUCH OF GLOATING IN THIS ASSOCIATED PRESS ARTICLE? "NEW YORK (AP) — A judge has urged that a copyright dispute between an artist and The Associated Press over the Barack Obama 'HOPE' image be settled...

Goldman Sachs Exceeds Quarterly Expectations, Snorts a Record Amount of Cocaine

Just more proof that the Associated Press is controlled by Erik Erickson and the Pharmaceutical Knights Templar. When will you whiny liberals thank S&M black belt John Yoo for correcting FISA's many typos and run-on sentences? And why aren't...

Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?

Anybody who says the Associated Press is not the most important wire service with "AP" as its initials just plain hates good journalism. Following up on yesterday's scorcher about how there were five (5) other governors who did something...

AP McCain Feature Just Chock Full of Awful Metaphors About Accordion Players

It's the New Associated Press! Less boring facts and whatever, and more shitty, shitty writing like you might find on a Live Journal, for the Retarded. Let's enjoy some of the dozens of terrible metaphors in today's AP feature...

Associated Press Calls ‘Em As They See ‘Em

The Associated Press will begin its stint as a Wonkette Intern next week.

John Edwards Scandal Just Gets Weirder

Thanks to Wonkette Operative Lauren for sending this strange thing she spotted on the AP news. The Edwards Saga just keeps getting creepier.

A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as "conceding the race." The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said...