associated press
America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs
Today is a sad day for Americans because we are losing a quintessentially American dessert, maybe forever. This is mostly the fault of commie liberal “labor” unions who have the NERVE to demand a living wage for their work, which makes the whole thing double plus sad. Of course, it isn’t actually the fault of [...]
Sad Face: Wonkette Bread And Butter Michele Bachmann May Be In Trouble
We’d really hate to jinx anything, so we are typing this with our fingers crossed: America’s Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins), despite the advantages of a fanatical national following and a very conservative district, just might not be a shoo-in for reelection this fall. (Also, OW! OW! OW! Do not try to type that [...]
BREAKY BREAKY BREAKING NEWS FROM THE AP…
[via Yahel Carmon]
Michelle Obama’s Trip to Target Was Basically a Lie
Our FLOTUS is very fortunate, because there is no Wall Street Insanity, in her world. Michelle Obama lives a much calmer existence, in a place where simple questions (“Where do fat people come from?”) have simple answers (“Arby’s”). So she is sometimes able to spend her time doing enjoyable things, like celebrating her wedding anniversary [...]
CNBC Publishes Secret AP Election Results; Republicans Lose
What’s the New World Order/Nobama got in store for the Teabaggers on Election Night? Nothing but pain, if these leaked Election 2010 results are to be trusted — and they are “not to be published or broadcast” until the Powers That Be are ready to announce Permanent Halloween for America’s tightly-wound white people. So many [...]
DOES ANYONE DETECT A TOUCH OF GLOATING IN THIS ASSOCIATED PRESS ARTICLE? “NEW YORK (AP) — A judge has urged that a copyright dispute between an artist and The Associated Press over the Barack Obama ‘HOPE’ image be settled quickly. Federal Judge Alvin Hellerstein said Friday at a hearing in New York that he has [...]
Goldman Sachs Exceeds Quarterly Expectations, Snorts a Record Amount of Cocaine
Just more proof that the Associated Press is controlled by Erik Erickson and the Pharmaceutical Knights Templar. [Matt Yglesias] When will you whiny liberals thank S&M black belt John Yoo for correcting FISA’s many typos and run-on sentences? And why aren’t you more appreciative of all the fabulous features he added in the process, like [...]
Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?
Anybody who says the Associated Press is not the most important wire service with “AP” as its initials just plain hates good journalism. Following up on yesterday’s scorcher about how there were five (5) other governors who did something vaguely weird once, over the course of American state history, today AP headquarters in New York [...]
Associated Press Calls ‘Em As They See ‘Em
The Associated Press will begin its stint as a Wonkette Intern next week. [AP]
John Edwards Scandal Just Gets Weirder
Thanks to Wonkette Operative Lauren for sending this strange thing she spotted on the AP news. The Edwards Saga just keeps getting creepier.
Associated Press Vehemently Hates Hillary
Associated Press: Bush Did Not Resign After All, Sorry
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A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog
by Jim Newell
This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the [...]