* Donald Rumsfeld looks forward to criminal prosecution, hopes to be the Tim Robbins character when he finally gets to jail. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Stay tuned to Comedy Central for his cell mates bios and an interactive prison yard game. [Comedy Central Insider]
* Angry Democrat mob chases well paid assholes, looks to jam things up their well paid assholes. [Whiskey Bar]
* Conservatives looking to find a new bogeyman to inspire fear and loathing in Middle America, turn to the gay illegal Mexican immigrant. [Boozhy]
* Ballot counting in unresolved Ohio race on hold till after the Ohio State-Michigan football game next week. [Think Progress]
* Market efficiencies allowed the business lobby to already be puckered and ready for Democratic ass kissing. [The Hill Blog]
* Happy Veteran’s Day: “The Marine Corps Rules for Gun Fighting.” [The Evangelical Outpost] MORE »

Bush was having a great time, Reichert told a group of veterans in Orting recently. At least until he came even with one of the bus drivers.

The president turned to Reichert and said the bus driver had flipped him off.

Later, Reichert called the school district. After an investigation, the 43-year-old bus driver was fired in early September.

MORE »

The Post reports: MORE »

• Wolf Blitzer closes his eyes, counts to three, and wishes that when he opens them all the dead Palestinians will be gone. [HuffPo]

• Small Pennsylvania town increases illegality of illegal immigrants, sick birds. [AP]
• Sign Katherine Harris’s online get well card! Then feign shock when her robot voice won’t stop calling you for campaign donations. [Elect Harris]
• Capitol Historical Society to host reception for “departing” members of Congress, most honorees to arrive by paddy wagon. [Copley News Service]
• Young America’s Foundation staffed by assholes really into IM. [Campus Progress]
• Soon to be the most compressive source for photos of politicians eating babies in the world! [Flickr]

• World Cup affiliations as a touchstone for the pitfalls of inter-party dating, and some asshole that actually carries a ” George W. Bush Freedom Credit Card.” [LuLu Dates DC]

• At IRS headquarters any work employees do will not make them free. [City Mouse]
• DC voting-rights activists trudge on, undeterred by the knowledge that plans based on shaming Congress into action are 0-for-the history of time. [Wanderings In DC]
• Washington Times reporter bothers to show up for a DC Council meeting and gets tossed out for taking the last cranberry muffin. [DCist]

Our gadget-obsessed sibling brings us this news: MORE »

Well, that was easy. We’ve had some really close calls here at Congressional Catfight, including one race that required a runoff. But this latest Catfight — a battle royal between five fighters, to determine who would take the wild card slot and face Katherine Harris — resulted in a decisive victory.

We threw five worthy contenders into the ring: Corrine Brown (D-FL), the “bat shit crazy” rep from the mean streets of Jacksonville’s North Side; Barbara Cubin (R-WY), the ex-cheerleader known for her “wack paranoia” and penis-shaped cookies; Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the immigration-obsessed nutjob; Bernie Sanders (I-VT), everyone’s favorite Vermont socialist; and Jean Schmidt (R-OH), the firearms-carrying, flag-jumpsuit-wearing, coward-calling congresswoman better known as “Mean Jean.”

The result? Jean Schmidt, in a landslide. “Mean Jean” received 60 percent of the vote — more votes than the other four competitors combined, and over three times as many as her nearest competitor, Tom Tancredo. Schmidt has scratched and clawed her way into the final round of Congressional Catfight. (For those of you who are curious, the full vote tally is available after the jump.)

Check back later today, when we’ll open the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt. We’re predicting a close and ugly battle between these two tough ladies of the House.

Earlier: Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot

MORE »

Last week, we solicited your nominations for a wild card contender, to take take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi (polls closing soon; to vote, click here). You submitted lots of excellent nominations, by email and by comment, and we winnowed the field to five contenders.

Here’s the poll:

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

You may already know which one of these folks you’d like to vote for. But if you’re undecided and in need of more information, excerpts from nomination squibs appear after the jump.

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Some of you have complained that we overlooked some worthy candidates when selecting our eight competitors for Congressional Catfight. Of course, given that there were only eight slots in the tournament — and hundreds of crazy, bitchy people in the House — omissions were inevitable.

Here are the eight original Catfight competitors. Top row, left to right: Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO); Katherine Harris (R-FL); Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX); Virginia Foxx (R-NC). Bottom row, left to right: Cynthia McKinney (D-GA); Nancy Pelosi (D-CA); Barney Frank (D-MA); David Dreier (R-CA).

But we do feel badly about not being more inclusive. So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to allow you to nominate representatives that you feel were unfairly omitted from the competition. Then we’ll have a poll, and the nominee with the most votes will face the winner of Katherine Harris versus Nancy Pelosi.

You can make a nomination by adding a comment to this post or by emailing us (subject line: “Catfight Wild Card”). Please include the nominee’s name and a brief explanation of why she belongs in the competition. Please note that the contest is limited to current members of the House of Representatives — no past House members, no Senators, no staffers or spouses, etc.

We’ll take a handful of your best nominees and have a reader poll in which you’ll vote on who should take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi. We look forward to your submissions. Thanks!

(For those of you who haven’t been following the competition closely, the tournament history appears after the jump.)

MORE »

* The week started off with a double shot of intelligence stories to get us all hot and bothered. Did we say hot? We meant super-hot. MORE »

The polls have closed, and it’s official: Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL) has trounced Rep. Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO) in the opening round of Congressional Catfight. Harris moves into the next round of competition, where she’ll face the winner of Congressional Catfight: Barney Frank vs. David Dreier. MORE »