Tag: assholes

Your Wife’s A Nasty Woman. And You? You’re A Total Cuck

Oh you puny liberal beta males! WEAR YOUR PUNY LIBERAL BETA MALENESS PROUDLY, with our Total Cuck shirt!

Trump Supporters Aghast That They Won’t Be Able To Act Like Him At Their Jobs

Trump supporters plan to boycott Grubhub after CEO issues letter saying they can't be mean to immigrants or grab women by the pussy.

We’re Still Going To Call You A Racist Piece Of Shit If You Are A Racist Piece Of Shit, Hooray!

Trump supporters are in for an upset if they think they can now let their bigot flags fly without anyone shaming them.

Preacher Who Claims Women In Yoga Pants ‘Deserve Rape’ Arrested For Kicking One

'Brother Dean' Saxton has been arrested for kicking a woman in the chest, for Jesus.

Bigot Diners Take Brave Stand Against Server They Wrongly Assume Is A Dang Foreigner

Another day, another weird freaking couple deciding to take a stand by refusing to tip the server who just spent an hour or so of her time waiting on them. Adam Dart and his wife were dining at Jess’ Lunch...

Hillary Clinton: Ambitious Monster With Daggers For Hands? (Yes)

This week, Bernie Sanders's campaign manager, Jeff Weaver, warned that Hillary Clinton was in danger of destroying the Democratic Party through her ambition to become president. Hillary Clinton, because she has been warned by her media coaches (which she has...

Nice Bundy Militia Jailbirds Smeared Poop On All The Things

So you're finally getting arrested after six weeks of occupying a bird sanctuary, for freedom. You've got the number of a crazy assemblywoman -- much better than a lawyer. You drank some water and had a snack. Everything's in...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Putting The Moran In Mormon

Welcome back, pagans, heretics, and heathens alike! It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week we're taking a break from our usual skullduggery, flim-flammery, and general assorted chicanery to take a look at those nice folks...
The drugs are hidden SOMEWHERE, Tennessee Republicans just KNOWS it.

Even Maine’s A-Hole Governor Thinks New ‘Shame The Poors’ Project Is Gross And Bad

You can't say that Maine Gov. Paul LePage isn't inspiring to his fellow Republicans, at least for certain values of "inspiring." The governor's Fuck The Poor policies have rubbed off on Robert Macdonald, who's running for a third term...
BOOBIES!

A Thoughtful Soliloquy On Miley Cyrus, Her Nipples, And Also Donald Trump’s Nipples

Haha, made you click, we don't have a "thoughtful soliloquy" to share with you. OR DO WE? Let's give it a whirl. Miley Cyrus went on the Jimmy Kimmel teevee fun hour and, as usual, she was all nekkid....
She's lucky -- In some neighborhoods you get shot for knocking on doors

Badgering Wingnut Moron Manages To Make Us Feel Sorry For Lois Lerner

We aren't huge fans of former IRS division director Lois Lerner. She began her IRS career under George W. Bush, dropped her "bombshell" about the IRS trying to silence conservatives (no, they weren't), and then she took the Fifth...

St. Louis Sportsball Fans Chant ‘Africa! Africa!’ At Black Ferguson Protesters, Because They Are Nice

Do you sometimes look at the News coming out of our great nation and wonder who in Jesus's name these people fucking are? Maybe it was the blonde lady screaming spittle-flecked curses at brown babies in Murrietta. Maybe it...
Don't make George Zimmerman ask you twice.

George Zimmerman Waving His Penis Substitute Around Again, Because It Is A Day

Well well well, look who else is hoppin' aboard the "Do You Know Who I Am?" Express! First it was Sarah Palin, and now it's Neighborhood Watch aspirant George Zimmerman. What do you s'pose Georgy Porgy is up to...

Don’t Worry, Bamz And Seal Team Six Gonna Get Those Girls

You may have heard, though not from us, that a bunch of Nigerian assholes are going around kidnapping all the girls. Almost a month after more than 300 girls were taken from their school (50 or so escaped), and...
Light is the left hand of darkness and darkness the right hand of light.

A Note On Empathy, Plus Some Weird Stuff About Eating Cicadas, In This Week’s Sci-Blog

"Goodness Gracious my grandma used to say The world's a scary place now, things were different in her day What horrors will be commonplace when my hair starts to gray?" - Kevin Gilbert This is Off Topic, but a thing I need to say. It's been a...