Tag: asshats

The pope's new record, probably.

Madonna Is Your New Nelson Mandela! Please Pass The Cyanide.

Last year, Madonna put herself in Art Jail, with a 17-minute tone poem about how ... the oppression was coming from inside the house! It was hilarious, and ridiculose, and full of hot dudes doing really good ripoffs of...

Rand Paul Makes A Funny Joke About His Fellow Americans

The always-quotable Sen. Rand Paul put a funny joke up on the Twitter Machine today! Only question is... (*snrkk!!!*) how would anyone even know the difference?? HAW HAW HAW! We can hardly wait for the nine paid staffers of Twitchy...

Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People

Good news, Poors! David Brooks has decided to take on the topic of income inequality, and has concluded that 1) income inequality is not actually a problem, and 2) if it were, we shouldn't solve it by giving poor people...

Mitt Romney: Students Should Get ‘As Much Education As They Can Afford’

Truly shocking, Mitt Romney has moved on from chastising America for copying him to more important things, like the fact that education is expensive for a reason: so that only people who can afford it are permitted to get...

Romney Says He’s ‘Not Concerned About the Very Poor,’ Stuns No One

Mitt Romney, most undeserving and unexcited winner of the Florida primary since at least 2004, was utterly bored out of his skull during his victory speech in Florida Tuesday, though he at least kept up the practice of being...

North Carolina Representative: Let’s Bring Back Public Hangings

Republican Representative Larry Pittman of Cabarrus County, NC thinks, sort of like Newt Gingrich did back in the '90s, that capital punishment is the only way to scare people like "abortionists, rapists and kidnappers" (what, no murderers?) into being...

Bill Kristol Writes New Partisan Column That Compromises Everything He Pretends To Stand For

New York Times "lightning rod conservative" columnist Bill Kristol today continues his titular free fall from superficially respectable-sounding "foreign policy conservative" to "comically shameless Republican purveyor of cynical misinformation who does not actually believe in or fact-check anything." We...