Uninsured Conservative Mauled By SEIU Thugs Actually Does Have Insurance, Perhaps
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
Nearly a week ago — and doesn’t it seem like just yesterday? — the country was ROCKED by allegations of Racial Strife stemming from an alleged assault on a black conservative outside one of Obama’s Death Panel Meet ‘n’ Greets. And every day we learn something new, or think we learn something new, about poor Kenneth Gladney’s employment status or insurance coverage or degree of injury or whatever. The newest hot news: dude has insurance coverage after all! MORE »
While millions of FOX News viewers were busily fantasizing about the inevitable race riots that would leave Oakland, Philly, Detroit, and Chicago in smoking ruins following Barack Obama’s crushing defeat Tuesday night, nobody thought to wonder what would become of the bitter Klingons who might be sad if Barack Obama actually won. Well, here’s your answer: they get drunk and bite people’s noses and then just sort of … fall over. 
Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who bravely attempted to incite a New American Race War with her fake story about getting mutilated by an angry black man and instead spawned a cheap Halloween costume trend, will not be sent to torture-prison for five and a half years. After a mere week in jail, she reached a plea agreement with the Authorities: no hard time, only mental health treatment. She will also have to check in with those Authorities every now and again to let them know of her whereabouts, like a common criminal, so there’s that. By next week she will have a country music recording contract and her own show on Fox, after “Huckabee.” [
Oh look, here is an indie-pop songstress who was brutally attacked by BErack OKama, an avenging Halloween Marxist who wants to teach John McCain supporters “a lesson” by gently painting his initials onto their cheeks. Thanks to Pam for bringing this strange coincidence to our attention. [
Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal. 
Readers may remember the 
Massachusetts state Senator J. James Marzilli Jr. has a certain daily routine. He likes to take a pleasant constitutional through Lowell, Massachusetts’ beautiful parks. During this time of year, of course, the ladies of the park tend to gather in their flowing, bounteous summer dresses, to drink iced tea and chat about our boys overseas. Marzilli enjoys overhearing the ladies’ conversations, and then he enjoys approaching the individual ladies, and then he enjoys lunging for their chotches and boobs. Then he enjoys running from the cops against traffic in one-way streets, dressed like a hobo, scaring the patrons at the hot dog stands; and when he is caught, he enjoys giving the cops the name of another state legislator, while crying for his life. 
Jim Gibbons was already famous for being a 
The Nevada cowtown of Elko finally got another president to stop by. The last one was Herbert “Hooverville” Hoover. Today it was George W. Bush. 
Because this is a National Politics Site, we’ve had to pull ourselves away from covering Rep. Jim Gibbons (R-Nevada) all the time. 
Let’s check in with Rep. Jim Gibbons of Nevada, who was about to become governor of the Silver State until something happened outside a Vegas steak/seafood restaurant and bar: 