Tag: assault

How Are Americans Expressing Their Economic Anxiety Today?

It's morning in America, so you can read the racist graffiti more clearly.
Doing much better now

Jerk Lady Guilty Of Trying To Make Somali Woman Speak English By Hitting Her In Face With Beer Mug

Thank goodness irrational fear of foreigners doesn't lead to tragic results.
Just put a Band-Aid on it, don't be so weak and unprofessional.

Trump Bros Who Beat Up Homeless Hispanic Guy Going To Prison, How Is That Even Fair?

What is this world coming two when two hairy Trump supporters can't see a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man sleeping, and beat him up and pee on him?
Just listen to those sons of beaches go

Virgin Islands GOP Delegate Meeting Escalates Quickly

A meeting of U.S. Virgin Islands Republicans went a little nutso Saturday, complete with shouting matches, screams for points of order, and at least one delegate getting shoved to the ground, allegedly. While the clusterfuck was due to political...
Fact: Most stapler related crimes are arsons, not assaults

Illinois Lawmaker’s Daughter Jumps Out Of Nowhere And Starts Stapling This One Guy

Shock and disbelief were the prevailing reactions in the west side of Chicago after Jessica Soto, daughter of state Rep. Cynthia Soto, was arrested and charged Friday with assault after a March 6 incident in which she allegedly just...
Who would Jesus punch first?

Unladylike Republican Staffers Bar-Fighting Like Common Palins

When young male Republican campaign staffers get together, a few things are always present. 1. Lots of boys who came from Republican homes who were raised with the smug certainty that they are SO MUCH SMARTER AND MANLIER than those...
Boom! Take that, Mexico!

Trump Bodyguard Slugs Hispanican Protester, Seals GOP Nomination For Boss

Donald Trump's security detail put its best fists forward in a confrontation with Latino protesters outside the Trump Tower Thursday, ripping away a protest sign and coldcocking a protester who tried to grab it back. When you watch this...
Haha, what's the difference?

Texas Judge Sentences Dude To Marriage, Bible Study

An a sentencing decision that sounds like something out of a bad comedy routine, a Texas judge gave a defendant in a misdemeanor case a simple choice: Marry his girlfriend or do 15 days in jail. Hey, it's just...
You see what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs?!

Butt Ass Nekkid Michigan State Senator Shoots Up Ex-Wife’s Car, May Have Issues

A confrontation between a naked Michigan state senator and his ex-wife in the wee hours of Sunday morning made for competing narratives and movie references this weekend. Did Virgil Smith attack his former spouse after an argument when she...
State Attorney Marilyn Mosby

Maryland State Attorney: Sure Looks Like Baltimore PD Probably Murdered Freddie Gray

The Baltimore Police Department has had a heck of a time explaining how Freddie Gray, a 25-year-old black man arrested on April 12, somehow ended up dead from a severed spine. While the police leaked a document to the...
I'm not touching you...OK, I'm tasing and shooting you dead, but not touching you...

Cops Slam Black Driver’s Head Against Car, Demand He Stop Hitting Himself

In yet another isolated incident, a black motorist was pulled from his car, thrown to the ground, and then had his head smashed against the hood of a police car. And for some reason, although the dash cam video...
Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

In yet another example of the persecution of Bible-believing Christians in America, wingnut Internet preacher and actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives Gordon Klingenschmitt has been stripped of his membership on a House committee because even his...

Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole

You might remember the horrific story about Michelle Wilkins, the pregnant woman in Longmont, Colorado, who was attacked by a deranged woman with a knife, who stabbed her, removed her 7-month-old fetus in an amateur C-section, and then was...
This whole story is just...ick

Colorado Rep. Klingenschmitt: God Hates Bortions, So He Killed A Baby. That’ll Show Us!

You sort of have to admire the mind of Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt, the Colorado Internet preacher who somehow got elected to the state House. No matter what horrible thing happens, Klingenschmitt finds a way to attribute it to...
C'mon Get Raptured!

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest...