Jack Ruby and Lee Harvey Oswald’s ‘Kill JFK’ Plans Revealed!
Monday, February 18th, 2008
Happy Dead Presidents Day, everybody! Our most beloved non-Reagan dead president, John F. “Jack” Kennedy, was killed by Lyndon Johnson’s Anti-Castro Cuban CIA Mafia Military-Industrial FBI Complex way back in 1963. We still don’t know exactly what happened, because “the government” won’t release the files for another forty or fifty years (or never), but the Dallas Morning News says a weird old transcript proves or doesn’t prove how “lone gunman” Lee Harvey Oswald and mafia-nightclub tough Jack Ruby discussed killing JFK so, uh, the Chicago mob wouldn’t be bothered by Kennedy’s little brother, Bobby Kennedy, who was attorney general back when the attorney general was expected to do anti-crime things rather than just torture innocent foreigners forever, in Cuba. MORE »











Do you remember the swinging social scene of early-1960s Washington? So many parties with those fun-loving and oft-assassinated Kennedy boys! And then George W. Bush ruined it all when he was appointed president four decades later. That’s the gist of this
It’s one of those massive political assassination world story sadness unrest political crisis nuclear death sad sad times, so, two things: (1) condolences to the Bhutto and (2) CNN.com is sooooo funny in times like these! Crisis logo with morose black-and-white gravity and tender fonts? Check. Obvious article about how world leaders are “shocked” at this mindfuck of a story? Check. Articles about how CNN knew this would happen all along, how you can send send your thoughts to CNN then watch them proceed to not give a shit, and how Time — a publication under the same ownership as CNN — has made a definitive statement for the record that will go down in history? Check, check, check. And then of course, other pressing headlines about girls getting attacked by dogs/tigers/screwdrivers, as opposed to assassins. [