ass fucking
Herman Cain Just Like Ronald Reagan (In Hiding Homosexual Staffers)
Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. [...]
Anti-Gay Lady Doesn’t Know Ladies Can Have Butt Sex, Too
There are no pressing issues in Colorado, so the state Senate is hearing public testimony regarding “civil unions” (butt sex). That’s why this scary old lady from the “Eagle Forum” decided to lecture lawmakers on the proper use of the anus and the sphincter — and by “proper,” she definitely does not mean she’d like [...]
Nobody Wants To See Gay Larry Craig’s Gay Airport Bathroom Now
Larry Craig is a terrible closeted homosexual and right-wing Idaho “Super Tuber” who was also a loathsome crooked senator who would basically do whatever the land rapists asked, as long as he could keep up the bathroom ass-fucking/sucking. He was America’s Greatest Hero and the symbol of the Republican Party. But now nobody wants to [...]
Sexy New Version of Florida Recount Makes the Ultimate War On Xmas Present!
Oh look what your editor stumbled upon, yesterday, while researching the George W. Bush Jr. Xmas Gift Guide: It’s Florida Erection, the cult-classic homosexual pornography telling of the 2000 recount in Florida! Here, from the cover copy: “Hundreds of cum-drenched ballots are ignored by Florida Secretary of State Harris (Lana Luster) when she declares George [...]
Republicans Jabbering About Their ‘Greased Chutes’
Wonkette Operative “Michael C” reports that this TARP-bailout hearing at the House is providing endless lulz. Why is Illinois Rep. Pete Roskam jabbering about tapping people’s backsides and the “greased chute of government”? Because he’s a Republican! It’s all about ass.
Auto Bailout Wins, GOP Offers Appropriate Criticism
Continuing the thème du jour, etc. Thanks to Wonkette commenter “Freakishlystrong.” [MSNBC/AP]
The Washingtonienne Gets Married
Ha ha, we promised you more news from the Annals of Anal today, and here we have it, the blessed nuptials of the Washingtonienne! This young lady, Jessica Cutler, was briefly famous for keeping a blog about all the gentlemen in Washington she had dirty sex with. She got a book deal (whee!) and a [...]
Conservative ‘Hot-Bottom Agenda’ Revealed
A University of Utah psychologist is displeased with her research being used inappropriately to bolster some nutty “you can think your way out of gayness” argument. But that is not the point. The point is that conservatives are obsessed with anal sex. [Salt Lake Tribune]
Mark Foley’s Replacement Was Doing This Non-Wife Person
THIRTEEN DAYS, people, THIRTEEN DAYS it took this year to hear about some sweet Cocktober 2008 action. People just aren’t having as much inappropriate scandal sex this year, who knows why, maybe because of the Surge. But. The man on the left is Democratic Congressman Tim Mahoney of Florida, famous for ousting perhaps the greatest [...]
Hey Here’s An Idea Let’s Talk About Not The Election Maybe?
By the Comics Curmudgeon While most Americans have just now started paying attention to the Presidential election (holy smokes, did you know there’s a black fella running? And some kind of moose lady?), we know that you faithful Wonkette readers have been following it since the day it began, which is to say November 4, [...]
Gay Governor Charlie Crist Makes Up Girlfriend In Interview
The New York Times Magazine‘s Deborah Solomon has a reputation for being very “forward” in her weekly interviews. Or sometimes it’s just very unprepared, like that time she asked Stephen Colbert about his dad, and Colbert said his dad died in a plane crash when he was 10, and Solomon responded, “I’m so sorry. I [...]
Larry Craig Wants To Drill All Of America
A Wonkette Senate operative has informed us that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig is on the Senate floor now, and “he’s talking about the ‘Craig Does Act,’ and said ‘we adjusted ourselves a little bit’ referencing ‘the no zone’ as well.” Yes folks, it’s true: Larry Craig is a major player in Congressional efforts to end [...]
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