Mark Sanford! You might remember this guy from a few days ago, when he cruelly Michael Jackson ex machina’ed what was supposed to be the Summer of Becton. His insane emails were of a more pornographic persuasion than those of Becton, so out of obligation to democracy, all of America’s GChat statuses then changed to reference Sanford. Alas! Tables turned again, with Michael Jackson playing the role of “Michael Jackson,” and everyone forgot about Mark Sanford and his Argentinian inamorata. That about brings us up to speed, to today, when Sanford and Sons and Wife took separate cars to some Faulknerian Camp David, which is, according to Sanford, symbolic of why Sanford is not resigning from his governorship or his marriage. In fact, according to a one “Tom Davis,” who controls all South Carolina politics from his Michael Crichton-themed masturbatorium under Sanford’s porch, SC lawmakers are looking to Jenny Sanford for clues about how angry they should be, at Mark, for cheating.  MORE »