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Tag: asians

The secret is that Nancy Drew was a black lady all along!

Angry Wingnut Angrily Explains Nancy Drew Is A White Lady, Dammit

Here's what we remember about the Nancy Drew books our mom gave us: Nancy Drew was a girl who was a detective, and she solved mysteries. The Hardy Boys did something similar, whilst being in possession of penis parts...
Fa la la la la, la la la SHART

‘Fox & Friends’ Jizz Their Stockings In Yuletide Rage

Two of the unique strains of brain syphilis that sit on the "Fox & Friends" couch every morning have finded a real War On Christmas! Oh so exciting! You see, there is this school in Brooklyn, P.S. 169, and...

Duggars Edge Out Bristol Palin In ‘Biggest A Idiot’ Contest Once More. Your Weekly Top Ten

HALLOOOOO, WONKERS! It's Sunday afternoon, and that means we are very excited to write the top ten posts of the week at you. Will you be so kind as to click on every single one of them and share...
Yes, yes it is.

Texas Republican Wishes Americans All Looked The Same, Like The Orientals

Here's a new twist, a fun and exciting way for a Republican to lay blame for gun violence on something, ANYTHING, that isn't spelled G-U-N-S. This time it's Texas Rep. Pete Sessions, who is NOT, science fact, the same...
Just Jeb!

The Seven Best Times Jeb Bush Embarrassed His Mother This Week

Oh, that Jeb Bush! He is literally THE WORST at running for president of America. It's like his entire life, he's been living in the shadow of his dad and his brother, and he's just really tired of how...
Just Jeb!

Jeb Bush Only Meant To Do Racism To Chinese Indians, Not Messicans Like Columba

Jeb Bush is still having a hard time figuring out a good name to call the Bad Brown Americans, and he still doesn't understand why he's not supposed to say "anchor baby." Even though he clearly asked the media...

Radio Wits Have Fine Chortle Over Chinaman Running For Office

Haw haw, there is a man named Nate Shinagawa and he is running for Congress if you can even believe such a thing, which these sparkling wits at WYSL cannot. Now, they don't actually say "Me Chinese Me Play...

The Asian Lady In Pete Hoekstra’s Ad Was Named ‘Yellow Girl’

Michigan senatorial candidate Rep. Pete Hoekstra -- pronounced "HOOKER," in his terrorist Dutch inflection -- went on the teevee yesterday to defend his comically racist ad about the evil lady in China or Vietnam (who cares) who, thanks to...

Sharron Angle Thinks Hispanic Students Have Those Asian Eyes

Why would anyone put Sharron Angle before a group of Hispanic high-school students? Just so she would say something offensive? Yeah, probably. “So that’s what we want is a secure and sovereign nation and, you know, I don’t know...

Sculpt Vegetables, Save The World, And Help Kidneys

Thursday, May 20: The ABC Island Horror show Lost, loved for some reason by our very own Jim Newell , is ending its long run this Sunday. Tear. Tear. This is devastating news for Jim and others who like...

Hana: Kind Of Like A Japanese 7 Eleven

For most people in DC, going to a the local Asian food mart means shopping at the international section of Whole Foods. But not anymore! Because there's a new Asian Mart in town, Hana Market, and it's right on...

Hot Sisters, Hot Asians, New York Jews

Thursday, Feb. 19: More electronic music from English group Fujiya & Miyagi (who sound a bit like Hot Chip if you're into that) and the School of Seven Bells, a pet project of one of the members of the...

Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary

Today marks the two-year anniversary of The Macaca Incident, in which Virginia Republican Sen. George Allen, a then-likely 2008 presidential nominee, called a Jim Webb spy "macaca" -- which is like the ersatz "n*****" in certain tropical parts of...

Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue

In little more than a month, the glut of political insiders and media types that preside over Washington D.C. will all squeeze into a single cardboard box and be dropped from the Enola Gay onto Denver, leveling the city...

RNC Calls Hill Manchurian Candidate