Tag Archives: asians

  tortured logic

Texas Republican Wishes Americans All Looked The Same, Like The Orientals

Yes, yes it is.
Yes, yes it is. Here’s a new twist, a fun and exciting way for a Republican to lay blame for gun violence on something, ANYTHING, that isn’t spelled G-U-N-S. This time it’s Texas Rep. Pete Sessions, who is NOT, science fact, the same person as Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions. Maybe they’re sisters! Anyway, why do we have so much gun violence, Rep. Sessions? Oh, it’s diversity, you say? Huh, WTF? Sessions attempted to explain it to radio host Chris Salcedo: Read more on Texas Republican Wishes Americans All Looked The Same, Like The Orientals…
  That we know of

The Seven Best Times Jeb Bush Embarrassed His Mother This Week

Just Jeb!
Just Jeb! Oh, that Jeb Bush! He is literally THE WORST at running for president of America. It’s like his entire life, he’s been living in the shadow of his dad and his brother, and he’s just really tired of how every single time he walks in the front door of the Kennebunkport manse, his mother Barbara drops her polite demeanor, stands up on the dining room table and starts flapping her arms yelling “LOSER! LOSER! SHOULDA BEEN AN ABORTION!” And Jeb’s all like “NOT AGAIN MOM!” but she can’t hear him because she’s cracked herself up so hard she’s looking for an inhaler. Read more on The Seven Best Times Jeb Bush Embarrassed His Mother This Week…
  You don't understand his racism AT ALL

Jeb Bush Only Meant To Do Racism To Chinese Indians, Not Messicans Like Columba

Just Jeb!
LOL you guys just misunderestimated what he was saying! Jeb Bush is still having a hard time figuring out a good name to call the Bad Brown Americans, and he still doesn’t understand why he’s not supposed to say “anchor baby.” Even though he clearly asked the media to please give him some good ideas for what to call the browns, but they’re no help. His Messican wife Columba, one of the Good Brown Americans, probably isn’t any help either, because she knows when her husband says racism against her people, it’s just business, it’s not personal. Read more on Jeb Bush Only Meant To Do Racism To Chinese Indians, Not Messicans Like Columba…
  eh they're all the same

Radio Wits Have Fine Chortle Over Chinaman Running For Office

Haw haw, there is a man named Nate Shinagawa and he is running for Congress if you can even believe such a thing, which these sparkling wits at WYSL cannot. Now, they don’t actually say “Me Chinese Me Play Joke” during their bit on Shinagawa’s hilarious Japanese heritage (per Right Wing Watch, he’s third generation American), and in fact the most sober of them tries to explain that it’s really just because Shinagawa is a young pup with no life experience (beyond the state county legislature, community organizing, and health care, of course), not the fact that they can’t even pronounce such a furrin name! But that’s sort of belied by the hilarity of the whole thing, which you can heart to your heart’s content right where it says “read more.” Read more on Radio Wits Have Fine Chortle Over Chinaman Running For Office…
  great moments in congressional internetting

The Asian Lady In Pete Hoekstra’s Ad Was Named ‘Yellow Girl’

Michigan senatorial candidate Rep. Pete Hoekstra — pronounced “HOOKER,” in his terrorist Dutch inflection — went on the teevee yesterday to defend his comically racist ad about the evil lady in China or Vietnam (who cares) who, thanks to Sen. Debbie Stabenow, has stolen all of America’s jobs in Vietnamese or Chinese rice paddies. “There’s nothing in here that has a racial tint at all,” derpeth the clown. Hmm… so then why was the evil Asian lady’s image titled “yellowgirl” as it actually was on the hilarious companion racist website DebbieSpendItNow.com? Read more on The Asian Lady In Pete Hoekstra’s Ad Was Named ‘Yellow Girl’…
  race is a harry reid construct

Sharron Angle Thinks Hispanic Students Have Those Asian Eyes

Why would anyone put Sharron Angle before a group of Hispanic high-school students? Just so she would say something offensive? Yeah, probably. “So that’s what we want is a secure and sovereign nation and, you know, I don’t know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me. I don’t know that,” Sharron Angle said, like a smart person. She also said she was “not sure” whether the scary Mexican-looking men in her illegal-immigration ad were Hispanic. This is all okay, because Sharron Angle cannot see color, because she is basically a minority herself: “I’ve been called the first Asian legislator in our Nevada State Assembly.” Read more on Sharron Angle Thinks Hispanic Students Have Those Asian Eyes…
  food/booze news!

Sculpt Vegetables, Save The World, And Help Kidneys

Thursday, May 20: The ABC Island Horror show Lost, loved for some reason by our very own Jim Newell [I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, OKAY? — Ed.], is ending its long run this Sunday. Tear. Tear. This is devastating news for Jim and others who like holograms, aliens, plane crashes, and fighting polar bears. ANYWAY, it turns out that the Washington Post has Lost bloggers, and said bloggers are hosting a happy hour tomorrow night from 6-8PM at The Reef in Adams Morgan for all those who feel a need to mourn the end of this strange, strange teevee show. [Lost Happy Hour] Read more on Sculpt Vegetables, Save The World, And Help Kidneys…
  u street

Hana: Kind Of Like A Japanese 7 Eleven

For most people in DC, going to a the local Asian food mart means shopping at the international section of Whole Foods. But not anymore! Because there’s a new Asian Mart in town, Hana Market, and it’s right on U and 17th. Read more on Hana: Kind Of Like A Japanese 7 Eleven…
  your week in music

Hot Sisters, Hot Asians, New York Jews

Thursday, Feb. 19: More electronic music from English group Fujiya & Miyagi (who sound a bit like Hot Chip if you’re into that) and the School of Seven Bells, a pet project of one of the members of the Secret Machines. School of Seven Bells, who have collaborated with Prefuse 73, include those megahot sisters from On!Air!Library!. 7PM, 9:30 Club. [9:30 Club] Read more on Hot Sisters, Hot Asians, New York Jews… Read more on Hot Sisters, Hot Asians, New York Jews…
  great moments in political history

Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary

Today marks the two-year anniversary of The Macaca Incident, in which Virginia Republican Sen. George Allen, a then-likely 2008 presidential nominee, called a Jim Webb spy “macaca” — which is like the ersatz “n*****” in certain tropical parts of Asia — leading to a series of Prejudiced hole-digging by Allen (“I’m a Jew? Who knew! Well fuck the Jews”) and an utterly destroyed political career. And tonight there is an “Asian-Americans for Obama” event in Arlington to commemorate the legendary video, and it’s hosted by Kal Penn, the famous stoner actor from Hollywood pictures. [Raising Kaine] Read more on Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary…
  snooze ya later

Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue

In little more than a month, the glut of political insiders and media types that preside over Washington D.C. will all squeeze into a single cardboard box and be dropped from the Enola Gay onto Denver, leveling the city entirely and offering radiation cancer for generations of future re-colonizers. And to make our Washingtonian invaders feel more comfortable during their Democratic National Convention, Denver officials are currently trying to replicate the invaders’ hometown with measures designed to eliminate anything fun, anywhere in the city. So yesterday, a team of FBI and “Denver Metro Gang Task Force” agents arrested 27 members of the city’s “Asian Pride” gang and confiscated its cache of over 10,000 Ecstasy tablets. Tragically, there will be no Ecstasy in Denver this August. Read more on Big Drug Bust In Denver As Convention Lame-ification Efforts Continue…
 

RNC Calls Hill Manchurian Candidate

Big-time Hillary donor Norman Hsu is, apparently, a felon. California wants him for fraud — he pleaded guilty 15 years ago, and then managed the most effective and yet laziest escape ever from the long arms of the law, by simply not showing up to jail or something. Despite his three-year jail sentence for grand theft, California authorities were totally unable to find the man whose pictures appeared on websites attending numerous fundraisers — that he hosted. Naturally, the Republicans are jumping all over this. By… calling Hsu a Chinese spy. Because he’s Asian. Their evidence: other Asian people have also donated to Hillary. Read more on RNC Calls Hill Manchurian Candidate…
 

‘Why I Hate Blacks’ Column Causes Controversy

People are so touchy and PC these days, you can’t even write a column in a San Francisco ethnic newspaper about how much you hate black people without Nancy Pelosi denouncing you in the national media. What a nation of whiners! Read more on ‘Why I Hate Blacks’ Column Causes Controversy…