Not that we’re going to start believing everything Fox News reports/decides, but you know that Ashley Todd cut-nut ghost-negro racist fantasy that thrilled America for a single night? According to the executive editor of Fox News, America’s White/Poor Family News Channel, “Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.” MORE »

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA]

• NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP]

Ashley Todd is the brave young patriot Ken and Jim have been writing about nonstop since yesterday evening. She got robbed of her pocket change by an angry dyslexic Negro monster lurking behind a Pittsburgh-area money hole, and then Twittered about it all the way home, and now nobody believes her story because America is still a very sexist nation. This morning we found one billion tips in our inbox containing various sordid revelations regarding this tragic victim. Let’s take a look… MORE »

Here’s a video by Ashley Todd, the poor McCain volunteer who claims to have been carved up by Barack Obama in Western Pennsylvania, a region where McCain needs as many votes as possible now that he’s tied his entire election hopes to victory in that state. If Ashley’s story holds up, then you obviously shouldn’t vote for Barack Obama now, and we hope she goes to the hospital at some point, just to get those knife carvings looked at. In the meantime, Pittsburgh police should immediately arrest the angry black guy in this video, “The Mean Janitor,” who clearly has had it out for Ashley Todd for some time. [YouTube]

Is this even possible, the lameness of this? Here we have a screenshot of this gal’s Twitter feed, on a college Republicans’ site called “Life In The Field,” presumably about GOP volunteer kids. All 50 of them! Oh and then one of her Twitter buddies says, “i hope @atodd gets caught in her lie.” MORE »

Never mind the murdered black bear covered in Obama signs, the 78-year-old black Baptist preacher and Army veteran whose Obama sign was replaced with a Confederate flag, the mass tire-slashings of cars parked at Obama rallies, or the “Kill him!” and “Terrorist!” chants at Palin’s klan rallies. What this campaign — meaning, “McCain’s campaign” — so desperately needed is an extremely fishy tale of a brave white woman getting mugged by a Black Man who then carves a symbol into her face. Somebody’s been watching too much Twin Peaks on the Netflix …. MORE »