Cut-Nut’s On The Lam!
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
Wonkette clutch operative “Mark” writes, “I saw Ashley Todd in a Barnes & Noble in Pittsburgh. Her wounds have healed, though she looked a little nervous. She was just drinking a coffee and reading a magazine. I would call her a freeloader for not working at 11 AM on a Tuesday and reading magazines she doesn’t intend to buy, but that’s what I was doing too.” No, “Mark,” we all know that you were there to carve her up with magazine papercuts while being a black person.
Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who bravely attempted to incite a New American Race War with her fake story about getting mutilated by an angry black man and instead spawned a cheap Halloween costume trend, will not be sent to torture-prison for five and a half years. After a mere week in jail, she reached a plea agreement with the Authorities: no hard time, only mental health treatment. She will also have to check in with those Authorities every now and again to let them know of her whereabouts, like a common criminal, so there’s that. By next week she will have a country music recording contract and her own show on Fox, after “Huckabee.” [
Oh look, here is an indie-pop songstress who was brutally attacked by BErack OKama, an avenging Halloween Marxist who wants to teach John McCain supporters “a lesson” by gently painting his initials onto their cheeks. Thanks to Pam for bringing this strange coincidence to our attention. [
Um, “Digg is totally hijacked by COINTELPRO and Likud party hacks. The best way to stop them is to allow the artificial world from whence they came to collapse,, and don’t bother to feed them when they come begging.” &c. [
Wonkette death crime operative “Courtney” sends us this disturbing photo of what Obama and the blacks have done to an innocent pumpkin who wandered into their ghetto. We have a feeling this is happening to thousands of pumpkins across the nation. Oh but of course the liberal MSM gotcha media would never criticize “The One” for this, heaven forbid.
Here’s your favorite Ashley Todd, the little smiling hobbit down there with her pals and her first hero, the Doctor Congressman Ron Paul, with Cowboy Jesus looking on in the background. Ashley’s not a “Real Paultard,” as she decided to root for another candidate after Ron Paul lost miserably. This hypocrisy is considered rather uncouth by the Paultard Council. But she was with the Paultards long enough to learn how to act like a fucking idiot, and this is how we should remember her. We decided the occasion called for a touch of sepia, beg yr pardon.
Let us go where we always go during our Times of National Crisis: to the wingnut comments of our nation’s proud conservative blogs. These people were obviously very angry last night about how this Negroid Monster Obama Staffer nearly murdered the brave 20-year-old white gal from Texas who was working the McCain phone banks in Pittsburgh and only wanted to drive around the scary “Little Italy” neighborhood looking for an ATM but instead drove right to the very heart of the Obama movement, which is a crackhouse full of 15-feet-tall Kenyan monsters who hunt this wretched ghetto looking for McCain bumper stickers, so they can lightly scratch their symbol, a backwards letter “B,” on the cheeks of their Twittering victims. 
CUT-NUT RETROSPECTIVE: “Drudge vs. Wonkette — The Ashley Todd Debacle,” 
Not that we’re going to start believing everything Fox News reports/decides, but you know that Ashley Todd cut-nut ghost-negro racist fantasy that thrilled America for a single night? According to the executive editor of Fox News, America’s White/Poor Family News Channel, “Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.” 