Tag Archives: ashley todd

  lies lies lies yeah

Ohio Bus Driver Who Faked His Own Gang Attack Is Your New Ashley ‘Backwards B’ Todd

Remember the glory days of the 2008 election when we had the delightful specter of Ashley Todd claiming that Barack Obama’s thugs had held her down and carved a “B” in her face except haha she totally made it up and the “B” was facing the wrong way? We loved her! But now we are casting our love aside, because we’re way more into this Ohio bus driver guy, Rickey Wagoner, who claimed that some black kids shot him so that they could kill a whitey, but he was saved by his pocket copy of the Bible for dummies, except that of course he made the whole thing up. Read more on Ohio Bus Driver Who Faked His Own Gang Attack Is Your New Ashley ‘Backwards B’ Todd…
  emergency wonk'd

Cut-Nut’s On The Lam!

Wonkette clutch operative “Mark” writes, “I saw Ashley Todd in a Barnes & Noble in Pittsburgh. Her wounds have healed, though she looked a little nervous. She was just drinking a coffee and reading a magazine. I would call her a freeloader for not working at 11 AM on a Tuesday and reading magazines she doesn’t intend to buy, but that’s what I was doing too.” No, “Mark,” we all know that you were there to carve her up with magazine papercuts while being a black person. Read more on Cut-Nut’s On The Lam!…
  sexy costumes

Your Sexy ‘Political’ Halloween Costumes, Part One

Keep on sending in those “politically themed” costume photos, people, tonight and tomorrow after you find yourself with a new case of warts after having had scary ghost-sex with a random Sarah Palin or Joe the Plumber you met on the street, trick-or-treating. Here are some photos people have sent in, divided into three categories: Ashley Todds, Sarah Palins, and OBVIOUS WINNER. Read more on Your Sexy ‘Political’ Halloween Costumes, Part One…
  dept. of false mutilations

Cut-Nut Sent To Nut-Hut

Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who bravely attempted to incite a New American Race War with her fake story about getting mutilated by an angry black man and instead spawned a cheap Halloween costume trend, will not be sent to torture-prison for five and a half years. After a mere week in jail, she reached a plea agreement with the Authorities: no hard time, only mental health treatment. She will also have to check in with those Authorities every now and again to let them know of her whereabouts, like a common criminal, so there’s that. By next week she will have a country music recording contract and her own show on Fox, after “Huckabee.” [MSNBC] Read more on Cut-Nut Sent To Nut-Hut…
  nobody's cheeks are safe

Facial Branding Meme Takes Hold

Oh look, here is an indie-pop songstress who was brutally attacked by BErack OKama, an avenging Halloween Marxist who wants to teach John McCain supporters “a lesson” by gently painting his initials onto their cheeks. Thanks to Pam for bringing this strange coincidence to our attention. [Ingrid Michaelson] Read more on Facial Branding Meme Takes Hold…
  ashley todd did it all for ron paul

CIA/ISRAEL/RNC/COINTELPRO/OBAMA/MSM DIGG RON PAUL HOAX FRAUD AMEROS NWO BURY!!!

Um, “Digg is totally hijacked by COINTELPRO and Likud party hacks. The best way to stop them is to allow the artificial world from whence they came to collapse,, and don’t bother to feed them when they come begging.” &c. [Ron Paul Forums] Read more on CIA/ISRAEL/RNC/COINTELPRO/OBAMA/MSM DIGG RON PAUL HOAX FRAUD AMEROS NWO BURY!!!…
  yes we carve

Monstrous Liberal Black African Welfare Beast Carves Up Pumpkin’s Face!

Wonkette death crime operative “Courtney” sends us this disturbing photo of what Obama and the blacks have done to an innocent pumpkin who wandered into their ghetto. We have a feeling this is happening to thousands of pumpkins across the nation. Oh but of course the liberal MSM gotcha media would never criticize “The One” for this, heaven forbid. Read more on Monstrous Liberal Black African Welfare Beast Carves Up Pumpkin’s Face!…
  that's not racial transcendence

McCain Campaign Pushed Cut-Nut Mutilation Myth On Media

John McCain’s campaign in Pennsylvania pushed the most absurd, unproven version of Ashley Todd’s dingbat Obama-Mugger fantasy to the Pittsburgh media — including the “backwards B means Barack!” nonsense that so thrilled the racists for a few hours last night. Just so we’re clear, let’s say it again: John McCain’s presidential campaign pushed the most incendiary, racially-charged anti-Obama made-up “details” from this crazy GOP gal’s black-assault fever dreams to the Pittsburgh media, which just happened to be the same DRUDGE SIREN MUTILATION talking points delivered to and disseminated by the Drudge Report late Thursday. [Talking Points Memo] Read more on McCain Campaign Pushed Cut-Nut Mutilation Myth On Media…
  america at a crossroads

Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!

Here’s your favorite Ashley Todd, the little smiling hobbit down there with her pals and her first hero, the Doctor Congressman Ron Paul, with Cowboy Jesus looking on in the background. Ashley’s not a “Real Paultard,” as she decided to root for another candidate after Ron Paul lost miserably. This hypocrisy is considered rather uncouth by the Paultard Council. But she was with the Paultards long enough to learn how to act like a fucking idiot, and this is how we should remember her. We decided the occasion called for a touch of sepia, beg yr pardon. Read more on Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!…
  bitter tears

A Children’s Treasury of Wingnut Reactions to Cut-Nut Ashley Todd Confessing Her Racist Fantasy

Let us go where we always go during our Times of National Crisis: to the wingnut comments of our nation’s proud conservative blogs. These people were obviously very angry last night about how this Negroid Monster Obama Staffer nearly murdered the brave 20-year-old white gal from Texas who was working the McCain phone banks in Pittsburgh and only wanted to drive around the scary “Little Italy” neighborhood looking for an ATM but instead drove right to the very heart of the Obama movement, which is a crackhouse full of 15-feet-tall Kenyan monsters who hunt this wretched ghetto looking for McCain bumper stickers, so they can lightly scratch their symbol, a backwards letter “B,” on the cheeks of their Twittering victims. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Wingnut Reactions to Cut-Nut Ashley Todd Confessing Her Racist Fantasy…
  cut-rate cut-nut

CUT-NUT RETROSPECTIVE: “Drudge vs. Wonkette — The Ashley Todd Debacle,” plus unkind comments from your editor. [Fishbowl LA]
  the end

Fox News: Race-Baiting Finished McCain

Not that we’re going to start believing everything Fox News reports/decides, but you know that Ashley Todd cut-nut ghost-negro racist fantasy that thrilled America for a single night? According to the executive editor of Fox News, America’s White/Poor Family News Channel, “Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.” Read more on Fox News: Race-Baiting Finished McCain…
  surprise surprise

BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA] Read more on BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!…
  yes we carve

NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP] Read more on …
  wave of mutilation

A Children’s Treasury Of Ashley Todd Updates

Ashley Todd is the brave young patriot Ken and Jim have been writing about nonstop since yesterday evening. She got robbed of her pocket change by an angry dyslexic Negro monster lurking behind a Pittsburgh-area money hole, and then Twittered about it all the way home, and now nobody believes her story because America is still a very sexist nation. This morning we found one billion tips in our inbox containing various sordid revelations regarding this tragic victim. Let’s take a look… Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Ashley Todd Updates…