No sooner did word break last March that New York governor Eliot Spitzer had been patronizing hookers than it devolved into deep unsexiness. We’re talking about Spitzer, after all, one of the least desirable humans on the planet! He refused to take off his socks during sexytime. His “high-class” hooker was just some Jersey girl with bad tattoos and a history of drug abuse. Eliot Spitzer made prostitution boring again. MORE »

That girl who nailed Eliot Spitzer, Ashley “Alexandra” Dupre, has given an interview to ABC’s Diane Sawyer as part of Sawyer’s “Prostitution in America” investigative journalistic reportorial KGB-spy series. Look forward to all sorts of juicy nuggets along the lines of: “In high school, Dupre was an honor student, worked in a restaurant and ‘never really socialized and went … to any of the parties, the high school parties. I got along with everyone, I was kind of popular. I was pretty popular.’” If she was so popular, WHY DIDN’T SHE GO TO THE PARTIES? You know, The High School Parties? That’s all. [ABC News]

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

Former hooker to Eliot Spitzer and “The Girl That Defined Four Or Five Days In March,” Ashley Alexandra Dupre, is finally going for the big catch. A million-dollar Hustler shoot? P’shaw, a pauper’s fee! No, Dupre is suing Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis for $10 million, “claiming she never gave… permission to use her name and likeness to advertise the videos.” Because she was only 17 at the time, and, y’know, could barely make her mark on the contract! So that’s what young “Kristen” is up to these days: showing America that tort reform is necessary. [AP/Newsday]

There are two iconic Washington hotels, swank palaces so famous that their very names have come to define the two main activities of our political elite: corruption and whoring. The first, of course, is the Watergate. The second is the Mayflower, which was named for the famous pimpette Sydney Biddle Barrows, the “Mayflower Madam.” It’s a little pricey even by D.C. lodging standards, so if you’re a regular there, you’re probably a regular user of $4,300 hookers — according to the liberal New York Times. MORE »

Tired of Ashley Kristen Alexandra Dupre yet? Us too! But not US Magazine! The celebrity weekly has about a thousand pictures of Eliot Spitzer’s allegedly high-class hooker, and they’re all about as bad as this one, and we think the official title of this set is “The Official Seal of the Great State of New Jersey.” Remember that picture of a pretty young Ashley/Kristen in a bikini on a yacht? That was apparently taken in 1978. [US Magazine]

Some “secret footage” of pop music star and model Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the former prostitute who brought down ex-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer 20-odd years ago, has been discovered by the cultural terrorists who produce the boob-flashing Girls Gone Wild series. According to TMZ, which has taken over the New York Times as the news source of record on Dupre, “‘GGW’ has ‘a week’s worth’ of video of Ashley celebrating her 18th birthday, which she did on the big bus. We’re told that ‘GGW’ plans on releasing an Ashley Dupre-specific video ’shortly.’” Be sure to check out the late-night GGW promos on Comedy Central for an official release date. She. Never. Goes. Away. [TMZ]

LARRY KING IS STILL INSANE: The excitable senior covers Kristen-Ashley by jabbering, “How does the escort feel, Kathleen? And, apparently, it’s going to get, if the term is right, more huge.” [Extreme Mortman]

According to a press release, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has made the first big move in the Penthouse-Hustler bidding war for Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s nudie shots — $1 million dollars. “We think this is an item that is going to stay in the news for some time,” Flynt said. “We think it’s not bad for a 22-year-old to make $1 million for a few hours work. It beats what she was making at the escort service.” Ashley should take this. Take it! Takey takey takey take! Think of all the rent checks this could pay! But remember to save some for taxes, because you will have to pay those now.

ASHLEY-KRISTEN ON TOP! The exciting music of Ashley “Kristen” Alexandra Dupre now holds both the No. 1 and the No. 2 chart positions at this digital download site! Truly this is just like that movie with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, but if the Richard Gere character lost his job and his dignity and then got indicted on federal white-slavery charges. [Amie Street/OC Register]

Four bucks says these two friends of “Kristen,” the “high-priced call girl” that made wondrous Love to Eliot Spitzer, will both get multi-billion dollar record contracts within a week. Will these two and “Kristen” become the new Black-Eyed Peas, since they are also a team of boys and girls that make by-the-numbers hip hop? Maybe if Barack Obama is president. [MSNBC]