Wonkette

This thing about John McCain’s houses is too good. John McCain cannot remember how many houses he owns, because he doesn’t really own any, because his wife inherited most of them. You know, his wife, Cindy — the same Cindy whose father bought WALNUTS! a seat in Congress as a wedding gift. John McCain’s life has been so kooky! And that’s why his campaign released a comical statement today in response to Obama’s “Seven Houses” ad. It is, how shall we say, loaded? MORE »

OK, so maybe the McCain campaign has done its private polling and thinks this stuff will work, but… couldn’t they try to be slightly more ridiculous? We speak of the memo that idiot campaign manager Rick Davis sent out today: “Only a celebrity of Barack Obama’s magnitude could attract 200,000 fans in Berlin who gathered for the mere opportunity to be in his presence. These are not supporters or even voters, but fans fawning over The One. Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand ‘MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew — Black Forest Berry Honest Tea’ and worry about the price of arugula.” What is this saying, exactly? MORE »

Hillary’s trip to the gas station not only threw the AP into a blind rage, but it also found our candidate struggling to operate the dastardly coffee machine. Don’t call her a hypocrite yet, however! That looks like a cappuccino or — dare we say — latte machine, so it makes sense that blue-collar Hillary had no dang idea how to use the mechanism. [YouTube]

Providing further evidence that he’s got too much wealth and taste to be president of this goddamned country, today Barry Hussein Obama lashed out at the stupid “Obama Girl” video because it’s stupid and embarrassing to his family. Word of the vulgar video even reached his six-year-old daughter, somehow, and she responded by angrily noting that her daddy already has a smart attractive wife and doesn’t need the adulation of some brain-damaged YouTube whore. MORE »

Barry Hussein Obama is not just hampered by his relatives Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. His real problem, campaign experts agree, is that he’s one of those fancy smart guys who have money and went to Ivy League universities and eat fancy lettuce from Whole Foods. That’s alien to most voters, with only 34% of Democrat voters holding a college degree and just one-tenth of one percent of them as wealthy as the Obama family. MORE »