As the weather gets nicer (minus a thunderstorm here and there), DCers will flock to anything taking place outside. The Washington Post and the Washingtonian have both already compiled lists of restaurants with balconies and patios, and restaurants with patios on top of their patios. Outdoor festivals on the Mall are already starting. While a burning desire to be outside in summer isn’t exactly crazy, it doesn’t necessarily make doing something inside akin to learning about racial harmony from Pat Buchanan. MORE »

Friday, May 15 through Sunday, May 17: Some 19 professional artists living around Dupont and Logan circles are opening their studio doors to a public astonished that it’s still possible to make a living, period, let alone do it via art. The “cultural pub crawl,” which for the curious reportedly has some food and drink available, is a group effort by the Mid City Artists (many of whom will be showing their work) and local galleries and businesses. MORE »

Closing Sunday, May 10: OMG, Lincoln is dying ALL OVER AGAIN on Sunday, when the lovely Library of Congress exhibit boasting a gagillion artifacts in his honor is shutttered for all time. With Malice Toward None: The Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Exhibition includes such ephemera as the oldest known copy of the Gettysburg address, inaugural speeches noted by Lincoln himself, and the Emancipation Proclamation. MORE »

Remember that time you were like “oo look a comic book about mice” and then you were like “this shit’s not funny it’s about the Holocaust”? Whoops! Well, Art Spiegelman, the author of that comic book (Maus) will be making a rare public appearance tonight at the Corcoran Art Gallery. MORE »

Opening Friday, May 1: PostSecret, the little art project-turned-meme that has joined Netflix in bravely justifying the continued existence of the US Postal Service, is returning to its roots with a month-long exhibit at Hillyer Art Center. MORE »

The National Museum of Health and Medicine, of Lincoln blood and dead fetus fame, is pursuing its mission of making the rest of DC vaguely uncomfortable through its observance of National Hairball Awareness Day. This “holiday,” which for the fact-checkers amongst us officially took place on Friday, April 24, exists for reasons unknown to your intern. All that matters, it seems, is that it provides NMHM a reason to dust off the old hairball collection for the general public to fondle. Seriously. MORE »

Closing Friday, April 17: We all know how your Wonkette feels about a certain New Yorker luminary, but one bad apple shouldn’t spoil the whole bunch. The Austrian Embassy is, for just a few more days, showing paintings and self-portraits by famous New Yorker cartoonist Peter Steiner. Free. [Embassy of Austria MORE »

Heyo, here is a cherry blossom-sanctioned event that may actually be worth attending. The Cherry Blast provides a reassuring alternative to all the outdoorsy wholesome family-friendly activities you try so hard to avoid. For $10, you can get into some random SE warehouse filled with pretty much every medium of art your little heart could desire, plus a vague promise of “swag.” MORE »

This latest one, it is a Masterpiece. A House staffer sends us this image and writes, “This is what we get in the House… apparently we don’t warrant actual teabags like the Senate, just a good ol’ teabagging by fax.” Ha ha, the House will always just be the poor man’s Senate. But how remarkable is this! The “value” wordplay was quite the deft maneuver. And look at the little dog lady in her window, barking. And CONTRACTS — MONITOR CONTRACTS. Jesus!

Tuesday, April 7: Fans of Top Chef, you remember guest judge Wylie Dufresne — he runs WD-50 in NYC, and is famous for experimental molecular gastronomy. Well, he’ll be here in DC alongside tapas genius Jose Andres at the National Museum of American History to talk about Spanish food. No free samples, sorry. [Smithsonian] MORE »

On the corner of 7th St. NW and Florida Ave. NW, in the parking lot of the CVS, there is a makeshift photo booth where you can get your photo taken against the backdrop of a Cadillac, a grandiose staircase, Outer Space or a bottle of Ciroc vodka. Your Wonkette wasn’t going to take a photo, but then a gay couple said that she “had” to, because “this is gangster,” and gave her $10 to take one. MORE »